The Bad Tech Jokes Bar...

[88keys]

Why is Windows an insecure OS that is designed to invade your privacy?

Because if they would have called it "Walls" if they had the opposite in mind.

 

[IronWing]

They should have called it "Gates".

 

[Fardringle]

Megahertz: What you get when you download too much from the truck at the same time.
Backup: What you get when the doc fixes the megahertz.
Chips: The things you find in the munchies bag.
Microchips: The bits left at the bottom of the munchies bag.
Byte: What the dog does.
Mouse: What the cat chases.
Hard drive: Moving the truck down the dirt road after a rain storm.
Floppy drive: What happens when the tire goes flat.
Keyboard: The spot by the door where you hang the truck keys.
IP: What you do in the outhouse.
Megabytes: What you get from horse flies and skeeters.
Screens/Windows: What keeps the horse flies and skeeters out.

 

[local]

 

[Rubycon]

Ah the hillbilly jokes...you forgot modem. That's what they did to the grass fields.

At the Cantina bar there was a famous Bald Eagle named Adrian. He got on a treadmill and started singing. He was in great tune.
He was singing a familiar tune for sure.
I remember the lyrics well.

I'm a dyno-soar.

Speaking of dinosaurs, I know many of you are younger and may not get the full reference so here's a clue.

 

[UncleWai]

Don't quit your day job

 

[IHateMyJob2004]

Worst thread ever.

 

[SKORPI0]

Worst thread ever.

This. OP trying hard to be "funny' but failing.

 

[Ken g6]

They should have called it "Gates".

Logical.

 

[Fardringle]

Ah the hillbilly jokes...you forgot modem. That's what they did to the grass fields.

True. I was just typing a few that I could remember without asking my friend Google to help me copy/paste (plagiarize) the whole thing.

 

[Thebobo]

What's the only electronic component that works when it breaks

You did say tech. Not just IT

 

[Ken g6]

What's the only electronic component that works when it breaks

A relay. But my reasoning is circuitous.

 

[Thebobo]

A relay. But my reasoning is circuitous.

Actually it was Fuse.

 

[sdifox]

What's the only electronic component that works when it breaks

You did say tech. Not just IT

breaker?

 

[Thebobo]

breaker?

Fuse

 

[IronWing]

I demanded that the electrician fix my lights. He refused.

 

[Ketchup]

"Knock, knock. Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."

 

[Ketchup]

An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol

8 bytes walk into a bar, the bartenders asks "What will it be?"
One of them says, "Make us a double."

These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"
The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu"
"Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated."

Geek walks into the bar wearing a brand new Apple Watch. He waves at the bartender and inadvertently buys a round for everyone in the bar.

An Irish Setter walks into a bar. The barkeep says, "Howdy! What can I get you?" The Irish Setter says.........
{he was encrypted}

A TCP packet walks into a bar, says to the barman "Hello, I'd like a beer." Barman says "Hello, you'd like a beer?" TCP packet replies "Hello, yes, I'd like a beer."

One transistor looking across the bar says to another transistor " I may be a bit biased but I think he's saturated"

An SQL Query walks into a bar and sees two tables. He walks up and asks, "Can I join you?"

 

[blackangst1]

An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol

8 bytes walk into a bar, the bartenders asks "What will it be?"
One of them says, "Make us a double."

These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"
The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu"
"Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated."

Geek walks into the bar wearing a brand new Apple Watch. He waves at the bartender and inadvertently buys a round for everyone in the bar.

An Irish Setter walks into a bar. The barkeep says, "Howdy! What can I get you?" The Irish Setter says.........
{he was encrypted}

A TCP packet walks into a bar, says to the barman "Hello, I'd like a beer." Barman says "Hello, you'd like a beer?" TCP packet replies "Hello, yes, I'd like a beer."

One transistor looking across the bar says to another transistor " I may be a bit biased but I think he's saturated"

An SQL Query walks into a bar and sees two tables. He walks up and asks, "Can I join you?"

Best ones so far. The rest just suck. Love the TCP one