The atheist and the bear. (A Brutuskend JOKE)

Brutuskend

Lifer
Apr 2, 2001
26,558
4
0
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods.
"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.


He turned to look. He saw a 7 foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer.


His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him> with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.


At that instant the Atheist cried out: "Oh my ....."

Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent.



As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky: "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"


The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps could you make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice.

The light went out. And the sounds of the forest resumed.

And then the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together and bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, Bless this food which I am about to
receive and for which I am truly thankful."




 

0roo0roo

No Lifer
Sep 21, 2002
64,795
84
91
rolleye.gif



An Jew was taking a walk through the woods.
"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.


He turned to look. He saw a 7 foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer.


His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him> with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.


At that instant the Jew cried out: "Jesus Chri....."

Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent.



As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky: "You deny my sons existence for all of these years, teach others I made you the chosen people, and even credit existence of israel to me. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"


The Jew looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps could you make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice.

The light went out. And the sounds of the forest resumed.

And then the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together and bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, Bless this food which I am about to
receive and for which I am truly thankful."

 

tm37

Lifer
Jan 24, 2001
12,436
1
0
becareful I posted this joke a month or so and got called insensitive:Q


is Nefrodite back yet?
 

Brutuskend

Lifer
Apr 2, 2001
26,558
4
0
Originally posted by: tm37
becareful I posted this joke a month or so and got called insensitive:Q


is Nefrodite back yet?

:Q

What's insensitive about THIS joke??

Now if the bear had gone hungry..........................
 

datalink7

Lifer
Jan 23, 2001
16,765
6
81
Originally posted by: 0roo0roo
rolleye.gif



An Jew was taking a walk through the woods.
"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.


He turned to look. He saw a 7 foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer.


His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him> with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.


At that instant the Jew cried out: "Jesus Chri....."

Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent.



As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky: "You deny my sons existence for all of these years, teach others I made you the chosen people, and even credit existence of israel to me. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"


The Jew looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps could you make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice.

The light went out. And the sounds of the forest resumed.

And then the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together and bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, Bless this food which I am about to
receive and for which I am truly thankful."

Doesn't work. The statement was going to be "Oh My God" A Jew doesn't deny the existence of God.

Sorry buddy.

 

0roo0roo

No Lifer
Sep 21, 2002
64,795
84
91
well just replace jew with buddist:p much easier see? :)

in the end it boils down to laugh at the heathen joke.
 

tm37

Lifer
Jan 24, 2001
12,436
1
0
Originally posted by: datalink7
Originally posted by: 0roo0roo
rolleye.gif



An Jew was taking a walk through the woods.
"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.


He turned to look. He saw a 7 foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer.


His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him> with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.


At that instant the Jew cried out: "Jesus Chri....."

Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent.



As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky: "You deny my sons existence for all of these years, teach others I made you the chosen people, and even credit existence of israel to me. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"


The Jew looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps could you make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice.

The light went out. And the sounds of the forest resumed.

And then the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together and bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, Bless this food which I am about to
receive and for which I am truly thankful."

Doesn't work. The statement was going to be "Oh My God" A Jew doesn't deny the existence of God.

Sorry buddy.

Accualy he was going to say JESUS CRI......

nd Jews don't deny that Jesus exsisted just that he was the son of god.

 

Brutuskend

Lifer
Apr 2, 2001
26,558
4
0
He changed it to "Jesus Chri....."

So it would sorta work.

Though Jews don't deny Jesus lived, just...............
 

0roo0roo

No Lifer
Sep 21, 2002
64,795
84
91
Originally posted by: tm37
Originally posted by: datalink7
Originally posted by: 0roo0roo
rolleye.gif



An Jew was taking a walk through the woods.
"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.


He turned to look. He saw a 7 foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer.


His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him> with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.


At that instant the Jew cried out: "Jesus Chri....."

Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent.



As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky: "You deny my sons existence for all of these years, teach others I made you the chosen people, and even credit existence of israel to me. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"


The Jew looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps could you make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice.

The light went out. And the sounds of the forest resumed.

And then the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together and bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, Bless this food which I am about to
receive and for which I am truly thankful."

Doesn't work. The statement was going to be "Oh My God" A Jew doesn't deny the existence of God.

Sorry buddy.

Accualy he was going to say JESUS CRI......

nd Jews don't deny that Jesus exsisted just that he was the son of god.

lol:) someone caught it:)