10/10/2005
The AT Report
Anandtech's Unofficial Forum Newspaper
Houghton, MI - Strange happenings have been sighted on the Anandtech Off Topic Forums
lately. Witnesses claim to be seeing a strange species frequenting our discussion groups and
forums. A rare species indeed, especially in the remote recesses of computer discussion
forums, this ellusive creature goes by the taxomic classification of feminist boobicus, or
more commonly: the common woman.
__So what makes this species so interesting? Scientists have confirmed the existance of
the feminine species in these geek-infested forums for a year now. In fact, our own Tami
recently revealed her morphism capabilities by changing her picture! Right in front of our
eyes she asked the infamous question: "How do I look?" As men who are lucky enough
to partake in experiences with the female species know, this question is a double-edged sword. I
shant go into details for fear of upsetting the youngins. But the question remains: What's
the big deal? As well all know, the process of posting for the first time in a forum,
especially ATOT where everyone is on edge as it is with these possible "chick" sitings, is
walking a thin line. A line thinner than that line the police make you walk when you are
pulled over for a DUI. If you can walk it successfully, you pass. Much the same with how
you enter ATOT. It helps if you post some legit technical questions in Video or General
Hardware (as I did back in the day) and move over to the harsh, forboding world of ATOT.
But for an unlucky few, experience in geek-infested waters is null.
__We had the pleasure of gazing upon a subspecies of feminist boobicus we classified as
"Misty" because of the mist caused by her sparklers. Scientists have yet to discover the
purpose of firely sticks, but they have concluded unanimously that a girl in a tank top
waving fire is sexy. Unfortunately, Steve Urwin did not arrive on time to check her cloaka
to determine for a fact she was a women. Nevertheless, our feild agents are tracking her
down to get pictures of proof. This was just one example of females invading our realm.
As a community of men...err...college geeks with the occasional 40-year-old tech suppot
guy, we share our spawning grounds with only ten women, as our IRS subunit counts. If
we invite more women into our gated communty, will the value we place on our existing
female inhabitants decrease? Will Tami morph again into a dragon and kill us all? Or are
these sitings of women simple a hoax? A cruel, cruel hoax played on the minds of poor
horny 16-year olds such as geek4life?
__Recent scientologist Tom Cruise explains (we needed to edit it so it was understandable):
arguing if women exist online)
__"Perhaps," argues Dr. Magoo, "she could look something like this": Dr. Magoo's Artist Sketch
Only time will tell.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
You can contact The AT Report by PMing mdchesne
press 1 if you are satisfied with an article, we will prescribe more :beer: and
press 2 if you are dissatisfied with an article, we will promptly tell you to kiss off
The AT Report
Anandtech's Unofficial Forum Newspaper
Houghton, MI - Strange happenings have been sighted on the Anandtech Off Topic Forums
lately. Witnesses claim to be seeing a strange species frequenting our discussion groups and
forums. A rare species indeed, especially in the remote recesses of computer discussion
forums, this ellusive creature goes by the taxomic classification of feminist boobicus, or
more commonly: the common woman.
__So what makes this species so interesting? Scientists have confirmed the existance of
the feminine species in these geek-infested forums for a year now. In fact, our own Tami
recently revealed her morphism capabilities by changing her picture! Right in front of our
eyes she asked the infamous question: "How do I look?" As men who are lucky enough
to partake in experiences with the female species know, this question is a double-edged sword. I
shant go into details for fear of upsetting the youngins. But the question remains: What's
the big deal? As well all know, the process of posting for the first time in a forum,
especially ATOT where everyone is on edge as it is with these possible "chick" sitings, is
walking a thin line. A line thinner than that line the police make you walk when you are
pulled over for a DUI. If you can walk it successfully, you pass. Much the same with how
you enter ATOT. It helps if you post some legit technical questions in Video or General
Hardware (as I did back in the day) and move over to the harsh, forboding world of ATOT.
But for an unlucky few, experience in geek-infested waters is null.
__We had the pleasure of gazing upon a subspecies of feminist boobicus we classified as
"Misty" because of the mist caused by her sparklers. Scientists have yet to discover the
purpose of firely sticks, but they have concluded unanimously that a girl in a tank top
waving fire is sexy. Unfortunately, Steve Urwin did not arrive on time to check her cloaka
to determine for a fact she was a women. Nevertheless, our feild agents are tracking her
down to get pictures of proof. This was just one example of females invading our realm.
As a community of men...err...college geeks with the occasional 40-year-old tech suppot
guy, we share our spawning grounds with only ten women, as our IRS subunit counts. If
we invite more women into our gated communty, will the value we place on our existing
female inhabitants decrease? Will Tami morph again into a dragon and kill us all? Or are
these sitings of women simple a hoax? A cruel, cruel hoax played on the minds of poor
horny 16-year olds such as geek4life?
__Recent scientologist Tom Cruise explains (we needed to edit it so it was understandable):
We needed to stop Mr. Pitt there because he lead our researchers on an important new lead. Perhaps, because all we have are pictures of this female, rumored to be 19 years of age, we can only assume she is a female. (We fired Mr. Urwin for his procrastination and his fetish for crocs for being late and being the sole reason we are
arguing if women exist online)
__"Perhaps," argues Dr. Magoo, "she could look something like this": Dr. Magoo's Artist Sketch
Only time will tell.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
You can contact The AT Report by PMing mdchesne
press 1 if you are satisfied with an article, we will prescribe more :beer: and
press 2 if you are dissatisfied with an article, we will promptly tell you to kiss off
Facebook
Twitter