The Ant and the Grasshopper

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SandEagle

Lifer
Aug 4, 2007
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This was forwarded to me by a co-worker. Thought I'd share. The modern version has a P&N twist to it :)


THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

Two Different Versions, Two Different Morals


OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the
summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.


MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!




MODERN VERSION:


The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and
laying up supplies for the winter.


The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the
summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to
know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and
starving.


CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering
grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with
food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.


How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is
allowed to suffer so?


Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when
they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'


Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant 's house where the news
stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.' Jesse then has the group kneel down
to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.


Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant
has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike
on the ant to make him pay his fair share.


Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive
to the beginning of the summer.


The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and,
having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the
government.


The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's
food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house,
crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.


The ant has disappeared in the snow.


The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now
abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful
neighborhood.



MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010.
 

Crono

Lifer
Aug 8, 2001
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Never post anything forwarded to you, unless it's Nigerian and hilarious.
 

JDub02

Diamond Member
Sep 27, 2002
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Close to the actual version written by Jim Quinn.

The Ant and the Grasshopper
by Jim Quinn

The Original Version

The ant busts his ass in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

The New Liberal Version

It starts out the same but when winter comes the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC, and ABC show up and show pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to film of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be, in a country of such wealth that this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Then a representative of the NAAGB (The National Association of Green Bugs) shows up on Night Line and charges the ant with "Green Bias" and makes the case that the grasshopper is the victim of 30 million years of greenism. Kermit the frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when he sings "It's Not Easy Being Green."

Bill and Hillary Clinton make a special guest appearance on the CBS evening news and tell a concerned Dan Rather That they will do everything they can for the grasshopper who has been denied the prosperity he deserves by those who benefited unfairly during the summer, or as Bill refers to it, the "Temperatures Of The 80's".

Finally the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Greenism Act" RECTRO-ACTIVE to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and having nothing left to pay his Retro-Active taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he's in....which just happens to be the ant's old house.... crumbles around him since he doesn't know how to maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. And on the TV; which the grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant's food, Bill Clinton is standing before a wildly applauding group of Democrats announcing that a new era of "Fairness" has dawned in America.

Link to original work.
 

SandEagle

Lifer
Aug 4, 2007
16,809
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^^ yeah, but Quinn's version doesn't mention the grasshopper getting killed by a gang of Spiders! heh. jajajaja
 

JDub02

Diamond Member
Sep 27, 2002
6,209
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Originally posted by: SandEagle
^^ yeah, but Quinn's version doesn't mention the grasshopper getting killed by a gang of Spiders! heh. jajajaja

good point. but i like giving credit where credit is due.
 

rivan

Diamond Member
Jul 8, 2003
9,677
3
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Originally posted by: Gothgar
this seems P&N-ey

get it the fuck out of here

It IS P&N-ey.

Raising the spectre of liberal big government implying you'll work hard only have to have your home repossessed in order to delivery the moral of how to vote in 3 years.

That's P&N. GTFO.
 
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