@Moonbeam I can relate to a lot of that except in my case it was fear of the permanent loss of self via death. But what I've discovered after being quite a variety of psychotropics, both legal and otherwise has been that such fear seems to be largely biochemical. But let's not go down that rabbit hole just yet.
The psychotropic that finally brought me to that conclusion is an antidepressant called Luvox. It's also the first line treatment for OCD.
As far as the rest of the world is concerned, learning about history has led me to the conclusion that we're generally moving in the right direction. Compassion is no longer considered a weakness and we (most of us anyway) no longer revel in the bloodsport so beloved by the Romans. But this has only happened because with our basic needs having been satisfied (in the first world at least) we can be truer to what I believe is our basic nature.
Continued good fortune on your journey.