My philosophy is it's very important to have the ability to laugh at life. 😉
This is an oldy but you might not have heard it.
Have a great weekend y'all
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer
asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT,
"And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The Engineer replies,
"In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer enquires,
"Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays,
full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary,
and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sits up straight and says,
"Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer replies,
"Yeah, but you started it."
😱
Things A True Southerner Knows
- The difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit.
- Pretty much how many fish make up a mess.
- What general direction cattywumpus is.
- That "gimme sugar" don't mean pass the sugar.
- When somebody's "fixin" to do something, it won't be long.
- The difference between Yankee's and damn Yankee's.
- How good a cold grape Nehi and cheese crackers are at a country store.
- Knows what, "Well I Suwannee !!" means.
- Ain't nobody's biscuits like Grandma's biscuits !!
- A good dog is worth its weight in gold.
- Real gravy don't come from the store.
- The War of Northern Aggression was over state rights, not slavery.
- When "by and by" is.
- How to handle their "pot likker".
- The difference between "pert' near" and "a right far piece".
- The differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and trailer trash.
- Never to go snipe hunting twice.
- At one point learned what happens when you swallow tobacco juice.
- Never to assume that the other car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
- You may wear long sleeves, but you should always roll 'em up past the elbows.
- You should never loan your tools, pick-up, or gun to nobody.
- A belt serves a greater purpose than holding Daddy's pants up.
- Rocking chairs and swings are guaranteed stress relievers.
- Rocking chairs and swings with an old person in them are history lessons.
12-Step Internet Recovery Program
1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper
like I used to, before the Internet.
2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.
3) I will get dressed before noon.
4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes,
and plan dinner before even thinking of the Internet.
5) I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate
few friends and family that are Internet-deprived.
6) I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Internet.
7) I will read a book...if I still remember how.
8) I will listen to those around me and their needs
and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Internet.
9) I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.
10) I will try and get out of the house at least once a week,
if it is necessary or not.
11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving
if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Internet.
12) Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime...
and the Internet will always be there tomorrow! :Q
There are two days in every week
about which we should not worry,
two days which should be kept free
from fear and apprehension.
One of these days is Yesterday
with all its mistakes and cares,
its faults and blunders,
its aches and pains.
Yesterday has passed
forever beyond our control.
All the money in the world
cannot bring back Yesterday.
We cannot undo
a single act we performed;
we cannot erase
a single word we said.
Yesterday is gone forever.
The other day we should not
worry about is Tomorrow
with all its possible adversities,
its burdens, its large promise and
its poor performance;
Tomorrow is also beyond
our immediate control.
Tomorrow's sun will rise,
either in splendor or
behind a mask of clouds,
but it will rise.
Until it does,
we have no stake in Tomorrow,
for it is yet to be born.
Have a GREAT weekend.
😀
This is an oldy but you might not have heard it.
Have a great weekend y'all
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer
asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT,
"And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The Engineer replies,
"In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer enquires,
"Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays,
full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary,
and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sits up straight and says,
"Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer replies,
"Yeah, but you started it."
😱
Things A True Southerner Knows
- The difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit.
- Pretty much how many fish make up a mess.
- What general direction cattywumpus is.
- That "gimme sugar" don't mean pass the sugar.
- When somebody's "fixin" to do something, it won't be long.
- The difference between Yankee's and damn Yankee's.
- How good a cold grape Nehi and cheese crackers are at a country store.
- Knows what, "Well I Suwannee !!" means.
- Ain't nobody's biscuits like Grandma's biscuits !!
- A good dog is worth its weight in gold.
- Real gravy don't come from the store.
- The War of Northern Aggression was over state rights, not slavery.
- When "by and by" is.
- How to handle their "pot likker".
- The difference between "pert' near" and "a right far piece".
- The differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and trailer trash.
- Never to go snipe hunting twice.
- At one point learned what happens when you swallow tobacco juice.
- Never to assume that the other car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
- You may wear long sleeves, but you should always roll 'em up past the elbows.
- You should never loan your tools, pick-up, or gun to nobody.
- A belt serves a greater purpose than holding Daddy's pants up.
- Rocking chairs and swings are guaranteed stress relievers.
- Rocking chairs and swings with an old person in them are history lessons.
12-Step Internet Recovery Program
1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper
like I used to, before the Internet.
2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.
3) I will get dressed before noon.
4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes,
and plan dinner before even thinking of the Internet.
5) I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate
few friends and family that are Internet-deprived.
6) I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Internet.
7) I will read a book...if I still remember how.
8) I will listen to those around me and their needs
and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Internet.
9) I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.
10) I will try and get out of the house at least once a week,
if it is necessary or not.
11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving
if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Internet.
12) Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime...
and the Internet will always be there tomorrow! :Q
There are two days in every week
about which we should not worry,
two days which should be kept free
from fear and apprehension.
One of these days is Yesterday
with all its mistakes and cares,
its faults and blunders,
its aches and pains.
Yesterday has passed
forever beyond our control.
All the money in the world
cannot bring back Yesterday.
We cannot undo
a single act we performed;
we cannot erase
a single word we said.
Yesterday is gone forever.
The other day we should not
worry about is Tomorrow
with all its possible adversities,
its burdens, its large promise and
its poor performance;
Tomorrow is also beyond
our immediate control.
Tomorrow's sun will rise,
either in splendor or
behind a mask of clouds,
but it will rise.
Until it does,
we have no stake in Tomorrow,
for it is yet to be born.
Have a GREAT weekend.
😀
