tell me if this sentence makes sense please

[MrDudeMan]

The Buddha has a gently flowing form which is complimented by a feeling of serenity

 

[krunchykrome]

Yes.

 

[MrDudeMan]

please give a reason why if you say no

 

[deftron]

I think you should replace "which" with "that" , or use a comma

 

[SWScorch]

well, I believe "complimented" should be "complemented" (e instead of i) and the feeling of serenity is never really tied into the shape of the Buddha, but it works.

 

[MrDudeMan]

sorry about the misspelling i will leave it in there just because that is trivial...what i am looking at is structure...just want to know if that makes sense is all. my mom said no, i said yes. it may not be perfect, but it at least makes sense.

 

[Sluggo]

Originally posted by: SWScorch
well, I believe "complimented" should be "complemented" (e instead of i) and the feeling of serenity is never really tied into the shape of the Buddha, but it works.

Yes.

Who is getting the feeling of serenity?

The Buddah possesses a gently flowing form, which instills upon those around it, a feeling of serenity.

Of course I did crappy in English....so dont take my opinion too seriously.

 

[So]

Seems okay to me, assuming there are other sentences around it helping explain the point.

 

[slydecix]

A feeling of serenity complements the Buddha's gently flowing form.

 

[MournSanity]

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan
The Buddha has a gently flowing form which is complimented by a feeling of serenity

Avoid passive sentences.

 

[Pepsi90919]

complemented sticks out like an eyesore.

 

[nageov3t]

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan
The Buddha has a gently flowing form which is complimented by a feeling of serenity

no. it's just not very clear.

better:

The Buddha projects a feeling of serenity, which greatly compliments his gently flowing form.
-or-
The Buddha has a gently flowing form which is complimented by the feeling of serenity he exudes.

either way, tighten up the writing. if you want to use that specific sentance, it reads better as:

The Buddha's a gently flowing form is complimented by his feeling of serenity.

 

[johnjbruin]

Originally posted by: Elitebull
A feeling of serenity complements the Buddha's gently flowing form.

this sounds better.

 

[TuxDave]

Originally posted by: johnjbruin

Originally posted by: Elitebull
A feeling of serenity complements the Buddha's gently flowing form.

this sounds better.

Active sentences get the point across faster. Unless you're trying a new poetic style.

 

[MAME]

, which
or use that

 

[flexy]

The Buddha projects a feeling of serenity, which greatly compliments his gently flowing form.
-or-
The Buddha has a gently flowing form which is complimented by the feeling of serenity he exudes.
.

Can you people also form a sentence which comes to the point without sounding like surgery-instructions ?

esp. the second sentence gives me the shivers....

Edit:
"projects a feeling of serenity".... ugghhhh.....

 

[nageov3t]

Originally posted by: flexy

The Buddha projects a feeling of serenity, which greatly compliments his gently flowing form.
-or-
The Buddha has a gently flowing form which is complimented by the feeling of serenity he exudes.
.

Can you people also form a sentence which comes to the point without sounding like surgery-instructions ?

esp. the second sentence gives me the shivers....

sugary instructions?

 

[flexy]

A feeling of serenity (surrounds | adds to | goes with | goes together with) the Buddha's gently flowing form. ??

i really dont like the word 'complimented'.....

The two halfes of the sentence (in my opnion) should be joined more smoothly...

maybe even "emits from..." etc..etc....

 

[AvesPKS]

Sounds okay to me.

 

[ndee]

You talk with your mom like that?