Teenage/High-School Relationships, my thoughts

[SaturnX]

I think it's completely possible, without a doubt. I'm actually in a similar scenario as TheCoop although both me and g/f are 17 at the moment.

I'm just not one of those guys who can go around "playin' the field", relationships mean a lot to me and personally I feel that you can't just fool around with them, it's something that works for me, and both myself and my girlfriend are happy.

--Mark

 

[glenn1]

Being in love and being in a relationship are two seperate and unrelated things. Sure, a teenager can be in love, i'd say it would be an unusual one who doesn't do so at least once. Still, at the relationship end of things, a teenager is totally unequiped for an adult level relationship. You just don't have the experience that comes with time. Essentially, you're at the same point in that particular skill (and it is both an art and a skill) as a 6 year old at a piano or drawing a picture. Sure, he'll do it with great passion and enthusiam, but it sure as hell ain't no symphony he's playing, or a masterpiece which will hang in the Louvre someday. It's just going to be a crude and simplistic product, without any depth, complexity, or anything of lasting worth. Ditto with teenagers trying to fumble their way through the world of love and relationships they find themselves stepping into.

 

[johnjohn320]

It's just going to be a crude and simplistic product, without any depth, complexity, or anything of lasting worth. Ditto with teenagers trying to fumble their way through the world of love and relationships they find themselves stepping into.

I'm not so sure...my sister...now 21, had a 3-year relationship in high school. She still regards it as an incredibly meaningful and deep relationship that changed her life.

 

[SinnerWolf]

romantic love is a learned emotion, not innate. As a result, an individuals definition of love, intimacy, and caring will adapt to whatever transpires in their lifetime. Relationships are (typically) a deductive process....you start off unsure of what you're looking for or what you desire in a mate. As you experience and grow with someone, you begin to define exactly what you value and need out of that companionship. That initial person is almost never right for you, because they are the base of a pyramid you will build throughout your life. It doesn't make one's early relationships any less valid then those you'll have later in life. And just like a picture, the older you get the more faded the memory becomes. So whatever it is you're experiencing now will always feel dramatically more powerful then what you felt just a moment ago. Plus it keeps the current significant other feeling good, knowing that the past can't compare, even though it may have done just that in a different time.

 

[Rainsford]

I think it is most certainly possible. But I don't think it is usually the same type of "everlasting" love that happens between adults. People change too much during their late teens and early twenties (I should know, and it can suck sometimes). A lot of people (friends and otherwise) that you were very close to are suddenly different people (and so are you). Sometimes you both change in such a way that you still have the same connection, but sometimes it doesn't work that way.

That is not to say that teenagers can't fall in love (again, I would know). I'm just saying that you should realize that it is teenage love. It may last, but most times it doesn't seem to. For those of you out there that are teenagers and have found that special someone, I hope you're still together 40 years from now. But in my experience, it's something to enjoy while it lasts, but if you try too hard to hold on to something that wasn't meant to be it's worse than if you just let go.

Uh, sorry, that was kind of a downer post. What I'm really saying is that I think teenagers can fall in love, but I think that many teenagers tend to fall out of love as quickly as they fell in love. Not all teenagers, but the changes we go through make us different people, and that can make long term relationships at this age very hard.

 

[xirtam]

Being 19, most of the teenage love stories I have seen have been triggered by random misfirings of synapses.

Kudos if yours is different.

 

[johnjohn320]

One of the things that's most frusturating to me is I'll probably never know if this relationship was different, if it was an exception. I'll probably never find out if, given the chance, it would have blossomed into something wonderful, even more wonderful than it had time to get to be.

Is it love? I don't know. I just know I feel really empty because she's not here. Everywhere I go, everything I do, she's on my mind, and I just don't feel like my life is complete right now without her.

 

[Palvaran]

I disagree with Semidevil's view. I do not believe in meeting and/or dating alot of people. Statements such as "find a more suitable mate" and "there are millions more girls that you haven't seen yet" seem to imply that there is only 1 person or possibly a few people that a person are compatible with. I think love can work on many levels, with many people. However, in regards to love in relation to high school relationships, I understand the pain and by some definitions their view is love is correct, but as I have matured I have come to understand that love takes time as one of the critical components of it is *acceptance*. In most relationships, the *true* person does not show themselves until after many, many months... more probable in most cases, years. The person has to trust the person, which takes time, and has to feel comfortable with the person, which takes time. Factor in that this has to happen for both partners, and after the initial time period, the relationship is starting anew and love will have either reached a new level or died off as passion and the chemical bonds that the two parties felt has faded away.

Then again, it has been said that love can be duplicated by consuming large quantities of chocolates.

 

[Geagle]

how long did it take you to write that?

The lucky number in this thread is 16. So it could be 16 seconds, 16 minutes, or 16 hours. You decide.

 

[Bimmer318i]

Teenage love?..Sure..i was in love when i was 17-18...i'm 18 now...

but in truth....love is sometimes a trivial thing....I don't know how to explain it...I just got out...or was forced out of a relationship of 2 years, 4 months or so...

too bad she didn't mature....

so yea..

it's possible...and i'm quite sure i'm still in love with her...

but that's life..

 

[gotsmack]

when you turn 22, getting ready to graduate from college and look back on you're life, you'll realize how immature you were when you were at 16 and you'll also think about how stupid you were at 18 and how you were not much better at 20.

I have learned so much during the last semesters and understand that I have a lot more to learn, but I have a better understanding of things now.

 

[Descartes]

Considering how many "men" and "women" fumble their relationships up into their 30s, I'd say the concept of love has absolutely nothing to do with the age of the parties involved.

Not everyone needs to "grow up". Not everyone hits a social epiphany over their keg at a frat party and realizes, "hey, I need to be mature now!". Some people are simply more socially/emotionally transcendental and don't have an easily discernable transition between states of maturity.

I'd say one is lucky to find love, independent of the perception of said love by others, at any age.

 

[vi edit]

Originally posted by: gotsmack
when you turn 22, getting ready to graduate from college and look back on you're life, you'll realize how immature you were when you were at 16 and you'll also think about how stupid you were at 18 and how you were not much better at 20.

I have learned so much during the last semesters and understand that I have a lot more to learn, but I have a better understanding of things now.

Heh. Wait till you get out! Mortgages, home insurance, buying appliances, life insurance :Q, having to go to work 5-6 days a week, ect. ect. ect.

 

[gotsmack]

I'll worry about it when the time comes. like they said in van wilder, "if you take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive".

 

[J3anyus]

Originally posted by: Descartes
Considering how many "men" and "women" fumble their relationships up into their 30s, I'd say the concept of love has absolutely nothing to do with the age of the parties involved.

Not everyone needs to "grow up". Not everyone hits a social epiphany over their keg at a frat party and realizes, "hey, I need to be mature now!". Some people are simply more socially/emotionally transcendental and don't have an easily discernable transition between states of maturity.

I'd say one is lucky to find love, independent of the perception of said love by others, at any age.

Very good post.