Tech support help

CorCentral

Banned
Feb 11, 2001
6,415
1
0
Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Racing 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1 .0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please help!


Thanks,
A Troubled User.

________________________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 , thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.


You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0.
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support
 

loup garou

Lifer
Feb 17, 2000
35,132
1
81
I believe this is some of ENIAC's first output, directly following "All your base are belong to us!" and "CL1CK H3R3 4 Fr33 V14GR@!!!!!!!"
 

Runes911

Golden Member
Dec 6, 2000
1,683
0
76
Pfft ignore the repost nazis I have never seen this. I think something that was posted >6 months shouldn't be considered a repost since most don't search for random stuff like this. Some of us don't read the boards 24/7.
 

Sqube

Diamond Member
Dec 23, 2004
3,078
1
0
Originally posted by: Runes911
Pfft ignore the repost nazis I have never seen this. I think something that was posted >6 months shouldn't be considered a repost since most don't search for random stuff like this. Some of us don't read the boards 24/7.

We're not talking about repost six months ago. We're talking about something that pops back up every six damn months.

I distinctly remember reading this in 1999. That's why the OP is getting no love, not because it keeps getting posted on ATOT.

I'm sure some of the older members remember hearing this joke on AM radio, ffs. ;)
 

nakedfrog

No Lifer
Apr 3, 2001
63,428
19,826
136
Originally posted by: Sqube
Originally posted by: Runes911
Pfft ignore the repost nazis I have never seen this. I think something that was posted >6 months shouldn't be considered a repost since most don't search for random stuff like this. Some of us don't read the boards 24/7.

We're not talking about repost six months ago. We're talking about something that pops back up every six damn months.

I distinctly remember reading this in 1999. That's why the OP is getting no love, not because it keeps getting posted on ATOT.

I'm sure some of the older members remember hearing this joke on AM radio, ffs. ;)

I think I might actually have it printed out from back in 1995, along with 99 zany ways to order pizza.
But it's still amusing.