Teacher wan'ts to hold son back in 1st grade..UPDATE been tested

Page 7 - Seeking answers? Join the AnandTech community: where nearly half-a-million members share solutions and discuss the latest tech.

Red Storm

Lifer
Oct 2, 2005
14,233
234
106
I find the argument that when you hold kids back "they learn faster, are more athletic, etc." as hilarious. Uh, no shit Sherlock, when you pit your kid against smaller and younger ones, he better damn well be smarter and stronger and faster. What's sad is that's one extra year of his life that's wasted later on when he's nearing the end of school.
 
Nov 8, 2012
20,828
4,777
146
Some of the smartest people are the ones that get bored as fuck in class/school these days. Usually because our education system is at the standards of mentally handicapped.

Do NOT hold your kid back. Transfer schools before you let that shit fly - and for the love of fucking god get rid of teachers as dumb fuck as yours.
 

wirednuts

Diamond Member
Jan 26, 2007
7,121
4
0
lol, he should be moved ahead or put into enrichment programs if he's bored. Holding him back will just make it worse. Sounds like a big fail on your teachers part.

yeah no kidding. this happened to me, i was never held back but i got aces on everything through 8th grade- then i quit. i barely finished high school. i was so fucking bored of school i thought it ruined my life because i just kept doing the same damn things over and over year after year.

i look back now and wonder, "why the hell wasnt i put in advanced classes? i only got tired of school because i thought i knew it all"
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
yeah no kidding. this happened to me, i was never held back but i got aces on everything through 8th grade- then i quit. i barely finished high school. i was so fucking bored of school i thought it ruined my life because i just kept doing the same damn things over and over year after year.

i look back now and wonder, "why the hell wasnt i put in advanced classes? i only got tired of school because i thought i knew it all"

Aces? You mean A's?
 

NesuD

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
4,999
106
106
My son's teacher want's to hold him back in first grade. the reason? immaturity.

He is 6 and the rest of the class is 8-9 (in most schools most first graders are 6-7). His birthday is right before the cutoff.

now academically he is fine. He reads at a 2nd grade level, he knows the math and scores high on all test. In all "subjects" except art and handwriting he excels at. his art is pretty bad and his handwriting is good but still not great.

His teacher says he would rather be outside playing and get's bored in class. He is restless and sometimes will stand instead of sitting like the rest of the kids.

We had him tested for ADD and such. The doctor laughed and said he was a healthy and normal little boy.

My questions are how is this going to effect him long term? he asked this morning if he was dumb because of it (he knows she wan'ts to hold him back). if he is bored and immature now is it going to be worse repeating stuff he knows and excelled at?

There reasoning is that the kids in K now are his age and size. he is a LOT smaller then the other kids in his class. I just wonder if holding him back for immaturity is right.

any teachers/parents have a situation like this?

My oldest son turned 6 the month before he started 1st grade. He was always the smallest kid in class and a target for class bullies. However he was an excellent student and learned how to get along just fine. He learned to defend himself from the bullies in spite of the busybody teachers and school administrators.

He finished college last year and walked out of school and straight into a software engineering job without missing a beat.

Holding him back because he is only six is stupid. Only an idiot would hold a child back for that reason. I would question the teachers judgement for even suggesting such a thing.
 

ControlD

Diamond Member
Apr 25, 2005
5,440
44
91
Holding him back because he is only six is stupid. Only an idiot would hold a child back for that reason. I would question the teachers judgement for even suggesting such a thing.

I agree with your conclusion, but in all fairness the teacher in this case never suggested holding the child back because he is only six. The reason given was for immaturity which I believe is a perfectly valid reason to hold a child back. In this case it doesn't seem like the child in question is too immature if he is able to properly do all of the schoolwork at a satisfactory level.
 

Broheim

Diamond Member
Feb 17, 2011
4,587
2
81
I started school a year early because the educators at my kindergarten told my parents they had nothing left to teach me and another year would just be a waste, so I became the youngest guy in my class (about a year younger than everybody else). I went to something called a forest kindergarden, basically we were free range kids who stayed out all day no matter the weather, this was both hugely beneficial because it has been shown to increase not only physical skills but also intelligence, but it also meant I didn't learn how to sit still and draw and shit like that (school stuff).

when I started school my kindergarten teacher (school in denmark starts with a kindergarten class and then 1-9th grade with an optional 10th grade at the end) wanted to hold me back a year because i couldn't draw and sit still and all the other stuff the kids from a normal kindergarten was used to, my mom told my teacher to stfu and I advanced to 1st grade.

eventhough I was the youngest in my class I was the tallest and one of the strongest, I was also by far the most intelligent (not necessarily the most book-smart in every class, but the most intelligent by far). This was a huge leg up I admit, because I never had to fear being bullied or being inferior due to my age (I was also the second to hit puberty and grow hair on my balls, so again, huge leg up).

I was always super bored in school because everything was too easy, all the way through highschool, it wasn't until I started college I actually received a challenge and by then it was too late... school made me lazy (at least when it comes to school) because I learned I didn't have to pay attention or do my homework (or even show up for that matter*), I'd get an A anyway. There were like 5 borderline retarded kids in my class, 20 normal kids and then me, so it was only natural the bar was set way too low for me, unfortunatly the school didn't have much to offer me in the way of challenges, they only had programs for the dumb kids. I remember sitting in my little corner in english classes reading 10th grade books (the hardest material the shool had) while the rest of the class was watching cartoons with some fuzzy alien that eats clocks, as they were trying to learn how to count to potato.

I obviously don't know your kid, but if he's ahead of the other kids academically and if it's only because of "maturity" then you shouldn't hold him back a year, he'll will be even less challenged and end up like me (ok, bad example because I turned out fine, but still) and as for maturity, he'll be as mature as the kids he surrounds himself with.

age wont be a problem as long as you, the parent, don't make it one. I was one of the popular kids so I was of course part of the first batch to start drinking and having sex, eventhough I was a year younger than my friends my parent's recognized that physically and emotionally I was well ahead of the curve, and there were no reason to hold me back.

* from the 7th grade and until highschool I used to skip school a lot, I was an expert in forging my parents' signatures and was an epic liar, I very rarely got caught (and when i did it was usually on purpose to throw people off). Anything I wanted to be good at I became great at, lying was one of those things. I wasn't a compulsive liar or anything, it was just one of the many things I did to entertain myself, a challenge if you will.
 
Last edited:

wirednuts

Diamond Member
Jan 26, 2007
7,121
4
0
lol....no, he went to school to be a dealer at a casino. They acutally hand out playing cards in place of report cards.

thanks. it pisses me off when people assume i got A's or even the wild idea that 'aces' aren't 'A's'
 

wirednuts

Diamond Member
Jan 26, 2007
7,121
4
0
I agree with your conclusion, but in all fairness the teacher in this case never suggested holding the child back because he is only six. The reason given was for immaturity which I believe is a perfectly valid reason to hold a child back. In this case it doesn't seem like the child in question is too immature if he is able to properly do all of the schoolwork at a satisfactory level.

yeah i think the teacher should have some cred, because they are the ones witnessing the events day to day.

and if the kid really is behind the others in maturity, he might get picked on a LOT in later years... especially if hes physically smaller then the other kids too.
 

Oyeve

Lifer
Oct 18, 1999
21,995
856
126
Why does an old man like you have a 6 yr old???? J/K, have you discussed this with the kid? Maybe he has an opinion.
 

torpid

Lifer
Sep 14, 2003
11,631
11
76
This is ATOT and yet not enough mention of the fact that red shirts are the first ones to die in any landing party? Why would you want that for your kid?

I say hold him back for TWO years and enroll him in several martial arts classes meanwhile. Then when he hits 1st grade the last time he will for sure be immune to bullies.
 

JEDI

Lifer
Sep 25, 2001
29,391
2,736
126
This is ATOT and yet not enough mention of the fact that red shirts are the first ones to die in any landing party? Why would you want that for your kid?

I say hold him back for TWO years and enroll him in several martial arts classes meanwhile. Then when he hits 1st grade the last time he will for sure be immune to bullies.

hell, by that logic, by the time he's a freshman in high school, he can legally carry concealed :p
 

torpid

Lifer
Sep 14, 2003
11,631
11
76
hell, by that logic, by the time he's a freshman in high school, he can legally carry concealed :p

By that time he will be a black belt in multiple martial arts as well, to cover places where weapons are prohibited.
 

waggy

No Lifer
Dec 14, 2000
68,143
10
81
ok, so you have 8-9 year olds in first grade, in fifth grade they have 12-13 year olds

you're saying your 6 year old son beat up a 12 year old boy?

no the kid is 10. I didn't say all kids are held back but a good majority are. but now i understand why and why they always score high heh.

while my son may be 6 but he is almost as tall as his sister and is thicker/stronger.

My son has been in a self defense class for years (they steal everything they can from other forms. from BJJ, wrestling, judo etc) and have wrestled for the last 2 years.

he had the element of surprise and when you get punched twice in teh stomach then kicked in the head kids tend to cry.



Why does an old man like you have a 6 yr old???? J/K, have you discussed this with the kid? Maybe he has an opinion.

pfft! i am only err..39. lol i had to think on t hat. sigh.


Pics of teacher?

nu huh. she is like 67 and no.

now the kindergarten teacher is hot! 20 something and cute
 

torpid

Lifer
Sep 14, 2003
11,631
11
76
no the kid is 10. I didn't say all kids are held back but a good majority are. but now i understand why and why they always score high heh.

while my son may be 6 but he is almost as tall as his sister and is thicker/stronger.

My son has been in a self defense class for years (they steal everything they can from other forms. from BJJ, wrestling, judo etc) and have wrestled for the last 2 years.

he had the element of surprise and when you get punched twice in teh stomach then kicked in the head kids tend to cry.

Your son knows BJJ, judo, and wrestling moves and yet decided to punch and kick an opponent? He should have been choked out with dislocated limbs. He needs to be held back for sure! At least until he has mastered the heel hook. :colbert:
 

waggy

No Lifer
Dec 14, 2000
68,143
10
81
Your son knows BJJ, judo, and wrestling moves and yet decided to punch and kick an opponent? He should have been choked out with dislocated limbs. He needs to be held back for sure! At least until he has mastered the heel hook. :colbert:

no he does not know all that. they steal from all that. he does know 1/2 leg takedown (he don't care as much about wrestling as he does the kicks lol), he knows basic escapes, and knows basic punches and kicks

they don't do heel hooks. just mainly self defense stuff. my daughter takes it too but she ain't into it.
 

Pulsar

Diamond Member
Mar 3, 2003
5,224
306
126
I have dealt with this 3 times now with my own children.

She simply doesn't know how to handle children. It's an epidemic in our schools. Young children are just that. Children. It isn't natural for a 3-12 year old to sit still for any length of time, much less sit still for 8 hours at school. Yet we expect that of them. When they have difficulty meeting our unrealistic expectations, we attempt to classify them as special, or try to blame what is perfectly natural on a condition like ADD.

I won't pull punches. I believe fully 1/2 the medicated ADD cases in our schools right now are specifically medicated BECAUSE the teachers can't deal with active kids. This isn't a problem with the child. It's a problem with the institution.

It breaks my heart to see active, happy children being disciplined for being children. It isn't right. It's one reason so many people end up homeschooling. This argument is a two edged sword that I'll acknowledge, because there's no way for a school who has to cater to so many can cater to just the few who struggle with it.

Anyway, that's the sad state of affairs. There are some things you can do. Experiment with caffeine. Believe it or not, even a little bit of caffeine can help kids tremendously - it acts in the opposite way that it does with adults much like ADD medication does. Remove artificial coloring agents from their diet. This has been scientifically linked with hyperactivity. Make sure they get enough sleep each night. 10 oclock bedtimes for kids that age isn't doing them any favors. They need around 9-10 hours of sleep.

Next, work with the teacher. Create a routine if you son is struggling to sit still. Take a look at this:

http://www.positivediscipline.com/parents/archive/ADD or Personality Difference.html

We did an IED and it worked wonders to give the teacher planned avenues of attack if he wasn't paying attention.
 

waggy

No Lifer
Dec 14, 2000
68,143
10
81
HA!

The school had him tested that would say how he ranks with other kids his age. on every thing from physical abilities, reading, communication etc.

he is 6 and will be 7 in late august.

he scored 6.8-7.2 years of age on EVERYTHING but 2 of the parts.

on communication he scored 6.5 years of age
on physical ability he scored 8.3 years of age.

the Tester recommended that he NOT be held back and it would do more harm then good. That he was a normal and happy 6 yr old boy.
 

dank69

Lifer
Oct 6, 2009
36,215
30,755
136
HA!

The school had him tested that would say how he ranks with other kids his age. on every thing from physical abilities, reading, communication etc.

he is 6 and will be 7 in late august.

he scored 6.8-7.2 years of age on EVERYTHING but 2 of the parts.

on communication he scored 6.5 years of age
on physical ability he scored 8.3 years of age.

the Tester recommended that he NOT be held back and it would do more harm then good. That he was a normal and happy 6 yr old boy.
Good for him! And you! Glad to hear it. Still laughing about 9yo 1st graders, heh.