Tales from the retail world...

[ModerateRepZero]

I think this is my favorite thread of all time on ATOT. Thanks for the stories folks, post more if you have them.

The closest I ever got to retail was doing tech support. Not nearly as funny as this.

Haven't assisted clueless but self-righteous corporate secretaries? You got lucky =p

old tech stories thread
http://forums.anandtech.com/showthread.php?t=63592&

 

[brigden]

As a teenager I worked in a grocery store. The washrooms were only accessible through our break room and it was common to have customers use it while we were on break.

One afternoon an elderly customer made use of the facilities while several of us ate lunch. He was in a quite a hurry on his way out, shuffling quickly down the stairs. Within moments we were assaulted with the stench of shit. Suspecting the worst, the owner, also eating lunch with us, entered. When he exited he had a look of what I can only describe as bemused shock and disgust. He described the scene:

The elderly customer had not only shit all over the toilet, but he managed to shit all over the floor and up the sides of the stall.

We were asked to draw straws.

Myself and another guy, a good friend, refused. We were pressured, but we held our ground.

The assistant manager was forced to clean it up and as he pushed the mop and bucket to the break room he could be heard swearing and muttering to himself. He was in a shitty mood (pun intended) for the remainder of the day.

 

[BUTCH1]

Was shopping in a local Publix, checking out the bacon on sale, I noticed a very elderly woman on one of those "rascal" type scooters coming down the isle and getting close to me. As she crept by about 3 inches from my feet I could see that her trajectory was going to cause a wheel to hit a wine rack on the endcap that protruded about "6 out into the isle yet I did nothing to stop her and sure as shit she hit the rack and down it went causing 10 or so bottles to break and a huge mess, then the kicker, she looks over for a couple of sec's. and starts hauling ass in the other direction!. I went to the front of the store and got to yell "cleanup on isle 12"...

 

[HeXen]

I, like 95% of everyone else on here, has worked in retail at one time in my life.

i must be among the 5%. Have some good McDonald tales from my youth to tell though.

 

[Brainonska511]

i must be among the 5%. Have some good McDonald tales from my youth to tell though.

Tell them anyway. I think when 'retail' was used here, it meant jobs where you're interacting with the general public.

 

[ModerateRepZero]

Tell them anyway.

Translation: I demand to be entertained!

 

[Jeff7]

i must be among the 5%. Have some good McDonald tales from my youth to tell though.

It's a lousy job, and you sell crap to moron customers all day. Close enough

 

[schneiderguy]

The elderly customer had not only shit all over the toilet, but he managed to shit all over the floor and up the sides of the stall.

I've never understood how people manage to get shit on the sides of the stall :hmm:

 

[HeXen]

It's a lousy job, and you sell crap to moron customers all day. Close enough

i wouldnt say it was a lousy job, i had good fun working there, but what some people who like to be rude don't realize is, the people who make the food have a higher tendancy to drop it on the floor if they don't like their attitude and may be the least of what happens to your meal.

never piss off people who cook your food, thats just stupid right there. I have always showed respect for any job and none for the losers who dont have one and dont try looking.

 

[chipy]

ok, i guess i'll "chip" in. i mean, what the heck, my stock lost some money, the weather isn't getting any better, might as well contribute, right?

so i worked at Pizza Hut in my younger days. one day i was working the morning shift and a family of four comes in. it's the father, mother, and two small kids. remember, it's early in the morning so we don't have any other customers yet. they come in to eat inside. while they're waiting for their food, they order a pitcher of... you guessed it, beer!

i'm the cook so i'm cooking their food, whatever it is that they had ordered. next thing i know, the waitress comes to me and told me they left. so, i'm kind of irked since i already started making their food. then she tells me that... wait for it...

they took the pitcher of beer with them! the whole thing was a setup just so the parents could get free beer... in the morning! using kids to make it look all innocent and normal - sheesh (shakes head).

 

[DarkWarrior2]

I once worked part time for a major department store, and my job was to sort and return clothing items left in the fitting room to their proper places on the sales floor. (Customers were allowed to leave anything they didn't want in the fitting room.)

So, I was putting back some items in a particular brand's area near the ladies room, and a homeless looking woman runs up to my rolling rack and asks me, "Is this a clearance rack? I'm looking for a pair of pants to purchase..."

Mistaking my fitting room rack for a clearance rack happens quite often, by the way. No big deal. But, I noticed as she was speaking to me that her breath smelled horrible - just like fresh turd. I ignore this (trying to hold my
breath a bit) and inform her that my rack is not clearance, and point out to her the nearby clearance racks. She hurriedly walked towards them, leaving her stench behind.

About ten minutes later, I hear a commotion coming from the direction of the ladies room. Women are actually running out, complaining of a foul odor. Then it hits me, it must be the homeless woman in the ladies room, who most likely crapped herself, and was changing into the clean pants she bought.

I had quite a chuckle to myself then. :biggrin:

 

[Beev]

This one is less humorous than my other ones, but I took a second job recently at a Gamestop for the discount and other benefits, and I had a funny customer. He came in around a month ago with a bunch of PS2 and Gameboy Advance games. Not exactly premium product... I tallied it up and he demanded that I double his trade in value. I declined and he called me a "fuckin' nerd" and left

 

[CoinOperatedBoy]

Not exactly "retail," but I did work in a movie theater for several years and you would not believe the things customers would do in this place. We found buckets of chicken bones, condoms, dirty diapers, underwear and all kinds of other clothing, money, bags of merchandise from nearby stores, baby seats (???), cameras, soggy tissues, chewing tobacco, cigars, drugs. The list goes on.

One of the funniest things that happened was when some kids took a fire extinguisher into one of the theaters and cut loose with it in the entryway, so it looked like an ice cave. The fumes filled up the theater, and the fog was so thick that the image from the projector was imposed on the cloud instead of the screen. A few people thought it was some promotional thing -- I think we were showing The Prestige or The Illusionist at the time. We had to evacuate and refund everyone in that showing.

The following weekend, they did it again.

 

[FeuerFrei]

I've never understood how people manage to get shit on the sides of the stall :hmm:

Here's my theory. They traipse into a stall fully loaded with explosive diarrhea, and find the toilet seat tainted waste from a previous visitor. Unwilling to lay down a layer of TP to sit on, they simply bare their ass and 'hover' over the toilet. Crap flies in every direction as gas propels it violently out the a-hole.

Now they have a huge mess on their hands and lack the resources and will to clean it up in a sanitary fashion. Remember it's not just your own fecal matter but that of others as well. Nasty.

I'm guessing that's how it's done. :hmm: D:

 

[CoinOperatedBoy]

Here's my theory. They traipse into a stall fully loaded with explosive diarrhea, and find the toilet seat tainted waste from a previous visitor. Unwilling to lay down a layer of TP to sit on, they simply bare their ass and 'hover' over the toilet. Crap flies in every direction as gas propels it violently out the a-hole.

Now they have a huge mess on their hands and lack the resources and will to clean it up in a sanitary fashion. Remember it's not just your own fecal matter but that of others as well. Nasty.

I'm guessing that's how it's done. :hmm: D:

As someone who once cleaned bathrooms regularly, I can say that this is a much more common problem in women's restrooms. Men's restrooms are pristine compared to the horror inflicted upon every surface in the fairer sex's facilities.

 

[HeXen]

As someone who once cleaned bathrooms regularly, I can say that this is a much more common problem in women's restrooms. Men's restrooms are pristine compared to the horror inflicted upon every surface in the fairer sex's facilities.

i agree from experience as well...women's restrooms are seriously nasty. especially the pms ones. Guy's, the typical is urine on the walls ..etc, occasional crap on the floor but women....it can make you puke.
I wonder if its just simply they don't care and try to rush or be lazy or on purpose for spite?

 

[El Guaraguao]

I worked as a loss prevention investigator at a small retail store. We had this guy come in, fill out an application at the customer service desk. The employee that was helping him out told him to hang around the store while she got the store manager, so he wonders off through the store. I following him by CCTV. I kept my eye on him because, wearing a jacket in the middle of summer in FL...well its just obvious, its a red flag. So this guy walks into the food dept and starts to loot like theres no tomorrow. I was the only LP on duty that day and was lmao inside the office, then I put my game face on and approached him and did my thing.


edit - I would also have to agree with the womens restroom are flat out disgusting. When I was on closing shift, in that loss prevention job, I would have to check the bathrooms to make sure no customers were still in there. When I cleared the womans restroom, I would often find shit smeared all over the place, blood soaked toilet paper thrown all over the place and logs that put mine to shame.

 

[HeXen]

loss prevention investigator

lol, gotta love fancy job titles. I'm an excavational engineer, fancy word for a ditch digger.

 

[Born2bwire]

Surely we have some new stories to put up here now.

 

[Tristicus]

Well, not anything huge, but funny. One night some kids were stealing some stuff, as stupid little kids will do. Saw them on camera, got 5 of them or so to come back to the room. Called cops/mall security cops searched them. Turns out they had crack pipes on them, stank of alcohol and drugs, and were drunk/tipsy. At 10/13...think the oldest one was 15 I believe. Better was when their parents came in (looked like mostly all single moms/grandmas/etc.), they all looked like crack addicts...lol. Sad but funny.


Up at Geek Squad, considering I know more than all of them except possibly 1 odd guy, I work a lot/help customers out with their computers. There have been a few ones where customers have left images of themselves..like men with tiny dicks..in plain sight for everyone to see. Sometimes we get a good laugh when they ask us to backup data and those are some of the things they want backed up.

 

[GTaudiophile]

Holy thread resurrection Batman!

 

[AlienCraft]

Holy thread resurrection Batman!

I saw this and went "hey necro thread DELUXE!!

 

[Born2bwire]

I saw this and went "hey necro thread DELUXE!!

Hey, it's a good thread.

 

[sjwaste]

This thread never disappoints. I need to think up some of my old tech support stories.

 

[Loop2kil]

I worked at a Wal Mart during college. I was walking out of the bathrooms in the back of the store when this HAAWWWWWWTTTT cashier came walking up rapidly towards the bathroom. I always flirted with her and was about to start some game when RECCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH she PUKED all over the floor and the front of the milk cooler. She had a stomach virus and the asshole manager wouldn't ler her leave. She was SO embarrased. It all worked out in the end as we got married Sept 18th last year. :thumbsup:

That's pretty awesome!!