Royalty free signatures:
I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am.
Agnodyslexic plea: "why ME, dog?"
It's starting to rain, .SQZ the animals into the .ARC.
woman.zip: great program, though readme.1st file is missing.
Dog for sale: Eats anything. Especially fond of children.
On a tombstone: "I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK"
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
Never assume. It makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me".
A man is not complete until he is married, then he is finished.
Urine (Baseball term): Opposite of "You're out."
AIXELSYD-008-1 :llac ,siht daer nac uoy fI
yip yip yip yip yap yap yip *BANG* - NO TERRIER
f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgmmng
recurse: (v) to swear again. ie. "Damn that dog! Damn him!"
bison, (b'zon), (n.): Sexually confused male child.
As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.
What, me ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
I know I'm not Mr. Right, but would you settle for Mr. Right Now?
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
A day for firm decisions! Or is it?
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
I bet you I could stop gambling.
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're all right now.
If you succeed in being a failure, what are you?
I have very bad concentra...mmm, pizza.
Save the earth, some of my best friends live here.
Of the things I've lost..I miss my mind the most.
A seminar on time travel will be held two weeks ago.
Confucius said: Those who quote me are fools.
Did ya hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!
I couldn't care less about apathy.
I've got a mind like a.. a.. what's that thing called?
You Klingon sons! You killed my bastard... no, wait...
Wedding ring: The world's smallest handcuff.
Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
10 out of 5 doctors feel it's OK to be schitzo!
==/==/==/==Police tagline==/==/==Do not cross ==/==/==/==
BREAKFAST.COM halted, cereal port not responding.
Back up my hard drive? I can't find the reverse switch!
Barium: What you do with dead chemists.
Congress, (con'ghres), (n.): Opposite of progress.
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing
Ensign Pillsbury: He's bread Jim!
Fife, (n.): Small shrill instrument that rhymes with wife.
I still miss my ex-wife, BUT, my aim is improving!
I distinctly remember forgetting that.
I know karate, kung fu, and 47 other dangerous words.
Ifyoucanreadthis,youspendtoomuchtimefiguringoutmytitle
Illiterate? Write for free help.
In case of emergency, break glass. Scream. Bleed to death
It's okay to be ugly...but aren't you overdoing it?
Itsdifficulttobeverycreativewithonlyfiftysevencharacters!
I don't die, I just go to hell and regen.
Microsoft Windows... a virus with mouse support.
OUT TO LUNCH: If not back at five, OUT TO DINNER!
Real Trekkers work out at the He's Dead Gym.
Red ship crashes into blue ship, sailors marooned.
Smokey the Bear says, "Strip mining prevents forest fires!"
The worst thing about censorship is *********.
Women! Can't live with 'em and no resale value.
I hit my CTRL key and I'm *still* outta control!
HELL HAS JUST FROZEN OVER: It snowed at school today.
RAM DISK is NOT an installation procedure!
I only play with my computer on days that end in "Y."
The word is pussy. Spread the word!
Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run! Death hates that.
Ithinkmyspacebarstoppedworking.
Got kleptomania? Take something for it!
Avoid hangovers: Stay drunken.
Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
Sex is like a bridge game: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
It's with gun in hand that this fox really rocks.
Is there another word for synonym?
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
My wife ran away with my best friend. I sure miss him.
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
Marriage is not a word: it is a sentence.
"DEL *.*" = 100% compression
Hold a hard drive to your ear - listen to the C:
I feel so... so... what's that word for I can't say it right?
I miss Rush Limbaugh. But with this laser sight....
If "con" is the opposite of "pro", what is the opposite of "progress"?
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
So what's the speed of dark?
War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
My fate's not in God's hands as long as there's a weapon in mine.
It's hard to believe he beat 100,000 other sperm.
"The next time I run into you, I hope I'm in my car." - Janier
I don't have the time for a hobby. I have a computer.
Reality is only fantasy gone stale.
"Never lie. That way you don't have to remember anything."
"He's not as big a fool as he was." "Smarter?" "No, thinner."
Alas! A virgin no more: I've lost my HIMEM...
Microsoft Windows: It just keeps getting beta and beta
My other vehicle Is a Klingon Bird of Prey.
"All great truths begin as blasphemies." Shaw
"I don't do children's parties, O'Brien." Odo
Kirk would never waste a holodeck on something stupid like Dixon Hill.
Sticker on a Mac: BEST IF USED BY JULY '87
"I can see the synapses beginning to fire behind your eyes." Londo
"So you feel like you're being symbolically cast...in a bad light." Ivanova
Backup? I've never had troub**&{[} 3$$ERROR
"But Officer! The dwarf was on fire when I got here!"
DON'T SHOOT! We may both be on the same side!
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets..
TAGLINE OMITTED DUE TO LACK OF FUNDING
At Borger King we do it our way. Your way is irrelevant.
Intuition, however illogical, is recognized as a command prerogative.
Old programmers never die; they exit to a higher shell.
I prefer to remain anomalous.
We choose our joys and our sorrows long before we experience them.
"You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree"
Was first in line for brains, but ended up holding the door open.
Pardon my driving, I'm trying to reload. - Janier
What do you call 32 redneck women? A full set of teeth.
We now return to our scheduled flame-throwing
"We're attempting to exhume this potato." Mulder
Nuke 'em till they glow, then shoot 'em in the dark.
Officer, I wasn't driving fast, just flying low!
The mother of all idiots is always pregnant.
Outnumbered 20,000 to 2...... and we killed them both. Aragorn
The clash of ideas is the sound of freedom.
I don't fly, I beat the air into submission.
Who the hell died in here? -- Florida State Motto
I have a 286... Can I park in the handicapped space?
"And now, @LN@, we will discuss the location of the Rebel base."
Choose heaven for climate, hell for society.
And when was your tongue last sharpened?
That which does not kill me had better run away very fast.
There are few problems that can't be solved by high explosives.
Expect no fairness where my vital interests are concerned.
To err is human; blaming it on others is more human.
"Hello", the lawyer lied.
Never trust a programmer who carries a screwdriver.
A dirty book is seldom dusty.
"Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun." -- Ashe
History repeats itself, but each time the price goes up.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
You cannot kill time without assaulting eternity.
Be different, act normal.
"If it doesn't fit, you are not using enough force!"
"Windows is a 32-bit patch to a 16-bit GUI for an 8-bit operating system written for a 4-bit processor by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1-bit of competition."
"Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the other men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked."
"All the big problems in the world could have been solved when they were little problems." - Chinese Proverb
"By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you will become a philosopher." - Socrates
"To control others is to have power; to control yourself is to know the way." Xena, Warrior Princess
The best way to take an insult is to ignore it. If you can't ignore it, top it. If you can't top it, laugh at it. If you can't laugh at it, you probably deserved it.
You hate to see me go...but love to watch me leave!
"Is that a ladder in your skirt or the stairway to heaven?"
"If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Thanksgiving - I'd visit between the holidays."
"You have beautiful legs - what time do they open?"
If it weren't for flashbacks I'd have no memory at all.
The cycle of life follows three distinct stages: Ignorance, Arrogance, and Senility. Bypass all three and proceed straight to alcoholism.
If only more Christians read their Bibles there'd be less Christians.
"Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names" - Joseph Stalin
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!" -- Woody Allen
"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not 'Eureka!', but 'That's funny...'" -- Isaac Asimov
"Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet." -- Dave Barry
"No wonder nobody comes here - it's too crowded." -- Yogi Berra
"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it." -- Winston Churchill
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." -- Thomas Edison
"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteeen." -- Albert Einstein
"The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same joke and still feel lonely." -- T. S. Eliot
"History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon." -- Napoleon Bonaparte
"Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried." -- Mae West
"If you live to be a hundred, I want to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you." - Winnie the Pooh
Your father should have pulled out and spared us.
If I want any sh*t outta you I'll squeeze your head.
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." -- Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear (Dune)
"In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love; they had five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock!" -- Orson Welles
"Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even when there is no river." -- Nikita Khrushchev
I want to love life, but life only wants meaningless sex.
Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
"It's Data, Mom. I heard you know how to turn him on" - Wesley
"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila." -- Mitch Ratliffe
"Of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most....human." -- Kirk at Spock's funeral
"What does God need with a starship?" -Kirk ST5. Only Kirk would have the brass to ask that.
I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am.
Agnodyslexic plea: "why ME, dog?"
It's starting to rain, .SQZ the animals into the .ARC.
woman.zip: great program, though readme.1st file is missing.
Dog for sale: Eats anything. Especially fond of children.
On a tombstone: "I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK"
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
Never assume. It makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me".
A man is not complete until he is married, then he is finished.
Urine (Baseball term): Opposite of "You're out."
AIXELSYD-008-1 :llac ,siht daer nac uoy fI
yip yip yip yip yap yap yip *BANG* - NO TERRIER
f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgmmng
recurse: (v) to swear again. ie. "Damn that dog! Damn him!"
bison, (b'zon), (n.): Sexually confused male child.
As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.
What, me ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
I know I'm not Mr. Right, but would you settle for Mr. Right Now?
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
A day for firm decisions! Or is it?
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
I bet you I could stop gambling.
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're all right now.
If you succeed in being a failure, what are you?
I have very bad concentra...mmm, pizza.
Save the earth, some of my best friends live here.
Of the things I've lost..I miss my mind the most.
A seminar on time travel will be held two weeks ago.
Confucius said: Those who quote me are fools.
Did ya hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!
I couldn't care less about apathy.
I've got a mind like a.. a.. what's that thing called?
You Klingon sons! You killed my bastard... no, wait...
Wedding ring: The world's smallest handcuff.
Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
10 out of 5 doctors feel it's OK to be schitzo!
==/==/==/==Police tagline==/==/==Do not cross ==/==/==/==
BREAKFAST.COM halted, cereal port not responding.
Back up my hard drive? I can't find the reverse switch!
Barium: What you do with dead chemists.
Congress, (con'ghres), (n.): Opposite of progress.
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing
Ensign Pillsbury: He's bread Jim!
Fife, (n.): Small shrill instrument that rhymes with wife.
I still miss my ex-wife, BUT, my aim is improving!
I distinctly remember forgetting that.
I know karate, kung fu, and 47 other dangerous words.
Ifyoucanreadthis,youspendtoomuchtimefiguringoutmytitle
Illiterate? Write for free help.
In case of emergency, break glass. Scream. Bleed to death
It's okay to be ugly...but aren't you overdoing it?
Itsdifficulttobeverycreativewithonlyfiftysevencharacters!
I don't die, I just go to hell and regen.
Microsoft Windows... a virus with mouse support.
OUT TO LUNCH: If not back at five, OUT TO DINNER!
Real Trekkers work out at the He's Dead Gym.
Red ship crashes into blue ship, sailors marooned.
Smokey the Bear says, "Strip mining prevents forest fires!"
The worst thing about censorship is *********.
Women! Can't live with 'em and no resale value.
I hit my CTRL key and I'm *still* outta control!
HELL HAS JUST FROZEN OVER: It snowed at school today.
RAM DISK is NOT an installation procedure!
I only play with my computer on days that end in "Y."
The word is pussy. Spread the word!
Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run! Death hates that.
Ithinkmyspacebarstoppedworking.
Got kleptomania? Take something for it!
Avoid hangovers: Stay drunken.
Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
Sex is like a bridge game: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
It's with gun in hand that this fox really rocks.
Is there another word for synonym?
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
My wife ran away with my best friend. I sure miss him.
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
Marriage is not a word: it is a sentence.
"DEL *.*" = 100% compression
Hold a hard drive to your ear - listen to the C:
I feel so... so... what's that word for I can't say it right?
I miss Rush Limbaugh. But with this laser sight....
If "con" is the opposite of "pro", what is the opposite of "progress"?
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
So what's the speed of dark?
War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
My fate's not in God's hands as long as there's a weapon in mine.
It's hard to believe he beat 100,000 other sperm.
"The next time I run into you, I hope I'm in my car." - Janier
I don't have the time for a hobby. I have a computer.
Reality is only fantasy gone stale.
"Never lie. That way you don't have to remember anything."
"He's not as big a fool as he was." "Smarter?" "No, thinner."
Alas! A virgin no more: I've lost my HIMEM...
Microsoft Windows: It just keeps getting beta and beta
My other vehicle Is a Klingon Bird of Prey.
"All great truths begin as blasphemies." Shaw
"I don't do children's parties, O'Brien." Odo
Kirk would never waste a holodeck on something stupid like Dixon Hill.
Sticker on a Mac: BEST IF USED BY JULY '87
"I can see the synapses beginning to fire behind your eyes." Londo
"So you feel like you're being symbolically cast...in a bad light." Ivanova
Backup? I've never had troub**&{[} 3$$ERROR
"But Officer! The dwarf was on fire when I got here!"
DON'T SHOOT! We may both be on the same side!
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets..
TAGLINE OMITTED DUE TO LACK OF FUNDING
At Borger King we do it our way. Your way is irrelevant.
Intuition, however illogical, is recognized as a command prerogative.
Old programmers never die; they exit to a higher shell.
I prefer to remain anomalous.
We choose our joys and our sorrows long before we experience them.
"You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree"
Was first in line for brains, but ended up holding the door open.
Pardon my driving, I'm trying to reload. - Janier
What do you call 32 redneck women? A full set of teeth.
We now return to our scheduled flame-throwing
"We're attempting to exhume this potato." Mulder
Nuke 'em till they glow, then shoot 'em in the dark.
Officer, I wasn't driving fast, just flying low!
The mother of all idiots is always pregnant.
Outnumbered 20,000 to 2...... and we killed them both. Aragorn
The clash of ideas is the sound of freedom.
I don't fly, I beat the air into submission.
Who the hell died in here? -- Florida State Motto
I have a 286... Can I park in the handicapped space?
"And now, @LN@, we will discuss the location of the Rebel base."
Choose heaven for climate, hell for society.
And when was your tongue last sharpened?
That which does not kill me had better run away very fast.
There are few problems that can't be solved by high explosives.
Expect no fairness where my vital interests are concerned.
To err is human; blaming it on others is more human.
"Hello", the lawyer lied.
Never trust a programmer who carries a screwdriver.
A dirty book is seldom dusty.
"Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun." -- Ashe
History repeats itself, but each time the price goes up.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
You cannot kill time without assaulting eternity.
Be different, act normal.
"If it doesn't fit, you are not using enough force!"
"Windows is a 32-bit patch to a 16-bit GUI for an 8-bit operating system written for a 4-bit processor by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1-bit of competition."
"Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the other men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked."
"All the big problems in the world could have been solved when they were little problems." - Chinese Proverb
"By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you will become a philosopher." - Socrates
"To control others is to have power; to control yourself is to know the way." Xena, Warrior Princess
The best way to take an insult is to ignore it. If you can't ignore it, top it. If you can't top it, laugh at it. If you can't laugh at it, you probably deserved it.
You hate to see me go...but love to watch me leave!
"Is that a ladder in your skirt or the stairway to heaven?"
"If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Thanksgiving - I'd visit between the holidays."
"You have beautiful legs - what time do they open?"
If it weren't for flashbacks I'd have no memory at all.
The cycle of life follows three distinct stages: Ignorance, Arrogance, and Senility. Bypass all three and proceed straight to alcoholism.
If only more Christians read their Bibles there'd be less Christians.
"Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names" - Joseph Stalin
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!" -- Woody Allen
"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not 'Eureka!', but 'That's funny...'" -- Isaac Asimov
"Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet." -- Dave Barry
"No wonder nobody comes here - it's too crowded." -- Yogi Berra
"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it." -- Winston Churchill
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." -- Thomas Edison
"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteeen." -- Albert Einstein
"The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same joke and still feel lonely." -- T. S. Eliot
"History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon." -- Napoleon Bonaparte
"Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried." -- Mae West
"If you live to be a hundred, I want to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you." - Winnie the Pooh
Your father should have pulled out and spared us.
If I want any sh*t outta you I'll squeeze your head.
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." -- Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear (Dune)
"In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love; they had five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock!" -- Orson Welles
"Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even when there is no river." -- Nikita Khrushchev
I want to love life, but life only wants meaningless sex.
Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
"It's Data, Mom. I heard you know how to turn him on" - Wesley
"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila." -- Mitch Ratliffe
"Of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most....human." -- Kirk at Spock's funeral
"What does God need with a starship?" -Kirk ST5. Only Kirk would have the brass to ask that.
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