Swans Are Such Asses

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M

MAME

Banned
Sep 19, 2003
9,281
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I've heard stories in the past about their aggresiveness. I was golfing recently and a swan tried to attack me while I was driving full speed in a golf cart. I was amazed that it wasn't scared of a large moving vehicle.

Anyone have swan/bird attack stories?

This picture reminded me of the incident:
Swan Attack
 
silverpig

silverpig

Lifer
Jul 29, 2001
27,703
12
81
We had a swan on a golf course I used to work at. It'd run up to us and smack our machines with its wings. That thing was mean. One guy hated it so much he blew it down a hill and into a pond with a huge hose. He also had it pinned underneath the blades of a mower and was toying with the "engage" switch, but didn't end up doing anything. Then one winter it just disappeared. I think coyotes got it.
 
Schadenfroh

Schadenfroh

Elite Member
Mar 8, 2003
38,416
4
0
My uncle has one, it likes to sneak up on you and start snapping at you and will rip any lose clothing off of you. I remember one time my cousin ran over it in his truck and it got caught up in the undercarriage and he drove around town for a few hours and did not realize the poor thing was trapped in there until he got home and it fell out from beneath it, injured and broken. This proves that it was the spawn of Satan for it lived and after a short recovery it was back to being evil.
 
L

Lola

yes. when i was littler, my brother and i were tubing behind the back of my uncles boat. we were very far away from two swans, and they came after us anyways. they almost nipped our feet, but we were able to leave fast enough. i have been afraid of them ever since. they are aggressive.
 
nakedfrog

nakedfrog

No Lifer
Apr 3, 2001
63,061
19,367
136
Last time a took a pic of one of the black ones at the Omaha Zoo, it pecked the camera shortly after. I was mighty close, of course. Had the pic online, but not at the moment.
 
Y

yobarman

Lifer
Jan 11, 2001
11,642
1
0
Swans have some balls. They're quite agressive, i remember being bit a few times when i was younger.

Haven't had some swan experiences in a while though.

HE LOOKA LIKE A MAN.
 
B

brxndxn

Diamond Member
Apr 3, 2001
8,475
0
76
If you let a swan hurt you, you are a pussy. Instead, when they attack you, point and laugh at how funny they look and keep your sunglasses on (since your eyes are really the only parts that are vulnderable.)

Swans are awesome. My buddy and I were chased by a swan in a golf cart once. I can't remember the last time I hurt so bad laughing. It was seriously one of the funniest things I'd ever seen. Maybe it was a goose. Who knows.. Big birds that aren't afraid of you are hilarious.

If it does bite you, smack it around. Run from alligators; laugh at swans.
 
M

MAME

Banned
Sep 19, 2003
9,281
1
0
Originally posted by: brxndxn
If you let a swan hurt you, you are a pussy. Instead, when they attack you, point and laugh at how funny they look and keep your sunglasses on (since your eyes are really the only parts that are vulnderable.)

Swans are awesome. My buddy and I were chased by a swan in a golf cart once. I can't remember the last time I hurt so bad laughing. It was seriously one of the funniest things I'd ever seen. Maybe it was a goose. Who knows.. Big birds that aren't afraid of you are hilarious.

If it does bite you, smack it around. Run from alligators; laugh at swans.
Click to expand...

yeah, I'm not afraid of them in the slightest. In fact, I believe I've posted stories about the large geese I pick up and mess with when I feed them at the lake
 
M

mordantmonkey

Diamond Member
Dec 23, 2004
3,075
5
0
Originally posted by: MAME
yeah, I'm not afraid of them in the slightest. In fact, I believe I've posted stories about the large geese I pick up and mess with when I feed them at the lake
Click to expand...

so do you often go to the lake to to pick up geese and fool around with them? and in what state is that legal?
 
PingSpike

PingSpike

Lifer
Feb 25, 2004
21,758
603
126
I'm always afraid they'll get me in the balls. That'd probably knock me right over. Anywhere else and I'd just kick it in the neck.
 
M

MAME

Banned
Sep 19, 2003
9,281
1
0
Originally posted by: mordantmonkey
Originally posted by: MAME
yeah, I'm not afraid of them in the slightest. In fact, I believe I've posted stories about the large geese I pick up and mess with when I feed them at the lake
Click to expand...

so do you often go to the lake to to pick up geese and fool around with them? and in what state is that legal?
Click to expand...

they've never complained
 
M

MAME

Banned
Sep 19, 2003
9,281
1
0
Originally posted by: PingSpike
I'm always afraid they'll get me in the balls. That'd probably knock me right over. Anywhere else and I'd just kick it in the neck.
Click to expand...

their necks are so long...it would be so fun to strangle them!
 
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