Suspecting your s/o cheated on you...

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zixxer

Diamond Member
Jul 6, 2001
7,326
0
0
Here's the scenario - 4 months into the relationship things start really going downhill - you make some mistakes (talking to ex, nothing happens - just txt/email flirting, nothing more.. however she was doing similar stuff) Your s/o finds out but doesn't directly confront you - instead, she takes the entire relationship a lot less serious. She has a couple of weekends away with groups of friends, couple of nights where she's out and 'crashes on a couch somewhere' without calling, etc etc. By this time you've cut it off completely with ex and want a more serious relationship. You sit down with her, and she agrees - neither of you want the 'party' life..

However, you've recently run across some fairly substantial 'evidence' she may have cheated on you during that time. You've asked her a couple times before this when other stuff has come up and she's denied it -


How would you handle it? The evidence isn't enough to be 100% sure - but that added onto other stuff is not looking good. However, you really weren't being the 'ideal' boyfriend at the time anyhow.. this was all 2-3 months ago at least.


Drop it and let bygones be bygones or other?

I have such a huge suspicion/confirmation - I just really want to know the truth rather than always wondering..
 
R

Ronstang

Lifer
Jul 8, 2000
12,493
18
81
Go get some strange so you can be on the same level when the pots and pans start flying.
 
D

Double Trouble

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
9,270
103
106
Obviously not a healthy relationship, it's doomed from the start. Stop wasting time and energy on it, break it off and move on. Once trust is lost, I personally don't see how it can ever really be regained. Sure, time can put a gloss coating on things, but do you really really trust someone once that trust has already been violated? Nope. Bail.
 
A

Alone

Diamond Member
Nov 19, 2006
7,490
0
0
Not 100%? Let it go. Putting too much focus on something that may or may not be is often the cause of an ended relationship.
 
R

RbSX

Diamond Member
Jan 18, 2002
8,351
1
76
Been there.. no trust = paranoia to the point of sickness.

****** it.

 
K

krunchykrome

Lifer
Dec 28, 2003
13,413
1
0
Originally posted by: zixxer
Here's the scenario - 4 months into the relationship things start really going downhill - you make some mistakes (talking to ex, nothing happens - just txt/email flirting, nothing more.. however she was doing similar stuff) Your s/o finds out but doesn't directly confront you - instead, she takes the entire relationship a lot less serious. She has a couple of weekends away with groups of friends, couple of nights where she's out and 'crashes on a couch somewhere' without calling, etc etc. By this time you've cut it off completely with ex and want a more serious relationship. You sit down with her, and she agrees - neither of you want the 'party' life..

However, you've recently run across some fairly substantial 'evidence' she may have cheated on you during that time. You've asked her a couple times before this when other stuff has come up and she's denied it -


How would you handle it? The evidence isn't enough to be 100% sure - but that added onto other stuff is not looking good. However, you really weren't being the 'ideal' boyfriend at the time anyhow.. this was all 2-3 months ago at least.


Drop it and let bygones be bygones or other?

I have such a huge suspicion/confirmation - I just really want to know the truth rather than always wondering..
Click to expand...

What exactly makes you suspicious other than gut feeling?
 
mooncancook

mooncancook

Platinum Member
May 28, 2003
2,874
50
91
depends on how seriously you want to be with her. if you really want to be with her, and you know you will not be able to forgive, then it's best to try to forget about it and start anew. If you can forgive then tell her that you will forgive her if she cheated but you just want her to be honest with you. I assume during those couple months you both had some times off each other, and if you both found out that you need each other then it's a growth in relationship.
 
Kadarin

Kadarin

Lifer
Nov 23, 2001
44,296
16
81
Originally posted by: Riverhound777
End it. Her denying it means nothing, women will Always lie about cheating, even to themselves.
Click to expand...

And even if you do get proof, she will somehow spin it such that it's YOUR fault.
 
C

Cal166

Diamond Member
May 6, 2000
5,081
8
81
Sorry dude, I don't see anything good coming out of this relationship in the long run...

Either ride it out and enjoy the sex while it last or just find someone new.
 
sao123

sao123

Lifer
May 27, 2002
12,653
205
106
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Originally posted by: Riverhound777
End it. Her denying it means nothing, women will Always lie about cheating, even to themselves.
Click to expand...

And even if you do get proof, she will somehow spin it such that it's YOUR fault.
Click to expand...

isnt it his fault?
 
buck

buck

Lifer
Dec 11, 2000
12,273
4
81
You are only 6-7 months into the relationship? GTFO. Time to find a new SO.
 
T

thegimp03

Diamond Member
Jul 5, 2004
7,420
2
81
Ask her?

If you don't trust her, then hit the road and find someone else. Sounds like a pretty unhealthy relationship when an s/o can't be trusted. This doesn't really look like it's going to go anywhere. A cheater is always a cheater. She'll do it again if she's already done it.
 
Kadarin

Kadarin

Lifer
Nov 23, 2001
44,296
16
81
Originally posted by: sao123
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Originally posted by: Riverhound777
End it. Her denying it means nothing, women will Always lie about cheating, even to themselves.
Click to expand...

And even if you do get proof, she will somehow spin it such that it's YOUR fault.
Click to expand...

isnt it his fault?
Click to expand...

Actually, it isn't quite clear. From the OP:

talking to ex, nothing happens - just txt/email flirting, nothing more.. however she was doing similar stuff
Click to expand...

The OP does appear to be of the opinion that she took the whole thing a lot further than he did.
 
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