Supporting your parents due to lack of retirement? Related article.

[GT1999]

I was pretty ill last year and to save money my insurance sent me to a nursing home for some really crappy physical rehabilitation. It was the worst 2 days of my life. People who visted me got sick because of all the germs around. Once I got better I upped the amount of money I contribute to my 401k for the pure reason that I want to be 100% sure that I never have to step foot in one of those places when I get older. They are terribly depressing.

401k + kids/S.O. that cares = I'll never need to step foot in a nursing home.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Very few "retired" people are completely incapable of working.

 

[Broheim]

Very few "retired" people are completely incapable of working.

my grandparents are in their 80's and they still run a small accounting firm.

 

[nanette1985]

401k + kids/S.O. that care = I'll never need to step foot in a nursing home.

That's what my relatives thought, too :'(

 

[lokiju]

I was pretty ill last year and to save money my insurance sent me to a nursing home for some really crappy physical rehabilitation. It was the worst 2 days of my life. People who visted me got sick because of all the germs around. Once I got better I upped the amount of money I contribute to my 401k for the pure reason that I want to be 100% sure that I never have to step foot in one of those places when I get older. They are terribly depressing.

401k + kids/S.O. that cares = I'll never need to step foot in a nursing home.

Oh wow, that sounds pretty bad.

Both of my in-laws were in a nursing home for rehab earlier this year at the same time. Both went into the ER the same week mid January for different reasons and it just ended up that they both got out and into the same nursing home for rehab also. Then my mother in law went back into ICU and didn't get out of the hospital until 2 months ago.

 

[PingSpike]

I was pretty ill last year and to save money my insurance sent me to a nursing home for some really crappy physical rehabilitation. It was the worst 2 days of my life. People who visted me got sick because of all the germs around. Once I got better I upped the amount of money I contribute to my 401k for the pure reason that I want to be 100% sure that I never have to step foot in one of those places when I get older. They are terribly depressing.

401k + kids/S.O. that cares = I'll never need to step foot in a nursing home.

I don't really understand your thought process on this one. There's a very good chance your kids will have to work all day to support their own children even and save up for their own retirement. A lot of people go to nursing homes because they can't care for themselves in their old age, even if they have money for it. As for your S.O., assuming you don't just flat out outlive them they are probably also in a state where they are less able to care for themselves, much less the daunting task of another elderly person on top of that.

I suppose if you really save a ton of money you might be able to hire a live in nurse.

 

[HydroSqueegee]

We're doing the take care of parents/grandparents/children thing all in one home.

My wife and I sold our place to move in with her grandmother to take care of her. She had a bigger, nicer house so it made sense. My wifes mother also moved in to help take care of granny. She has had financial problems in the past and was living in a second house owned by granny, so it wasnt a big deal for her to move. The basement was redone into living space for us with a family room, bathroom and two bedrooms. Its a pretty sweet setup. Privacy isnt really an issue with our own little apartment in the basement.
Its a very interesting dynamic and it was weird at first, but everyone adjusted. We were only there for a few months before granny died. Now its just us, the kids and the mother in law.
We pay for all the groceries, cook, clean and make the monthly payment to the estate for the property. Mother in law pays utilities, cable, home insurance and sometimes washes dishes.
I think we have a pretty good quality of life living like this. she helps with the kids at the drop of a hat and her income helps with things we need done around the house.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

my grandparents are in their 80's and they still run a small accounting firm.

exactly my point. that means you have time at 60 to re-educate and start a career in a completely new field if you wanted to.

 

[Puppies04]

exactly my point. that means you have time at 60 to re-educate and start a career in a completely new field if you wanted to.

I'm sure all the 20 somethings crying about trying to find a decent job would just love it if every 60+ year old person that has retired suddenly wants a job again...

 

[IceBergSLiM]

I'm sure all the 20 somethings crying about trying to find a decent job would just love it if every 60+ year old person that has retired suddenly wants a job again...

well its going to happen, lets be honest here in the next couple decades we are going to be able to extend the average human life to beyond 120 years old. nobody wants to be retired and useless for 40-50 years.

 

[sygyzy]

My dad is 62 and has just enough savings to put my little sister through college. He has a moderate pension, but I don't think its enough for him to live comfortably. Granted, he is the kind of guy that will work until he drops dead, so he'll have some extra money from working.

Not really sure what I'm going to do with him when he gets really old. I suppose I'll have him move in with me once he is unable to take care of himself.

I think it's kind of rude of your sister, knowing your dad's situation, to take the money. Yeah, it means debt for her down the line but cmon.

 

[sygyzy]

We're doing the take care of parents/grandparents/children thing all in one home.

My wife and I sold our place to move in with her grandmother to take care of her. She had a bigger, nicer house so it made sense. My wifes mother also moved in to help take care of granny. She has had financial problems in the past and was living in a second house owned by granny, so it wasnt a big deal for her to move. The basement was redone into living space for us with a family room, bathroom and two bedrooms. Its a pretty sweet setup. Privacy isnt really an issue with our own little apartment in the basement.
Its a very interesting dynamic and it was weird at first, but everyone adjusted. We were only there for a few months before granny died. Now its just us, the kids and the mother in law.
We pay for all the groceries, cook, clean and make the monthly payment to the estate for the property. Mother in law pays utilities, cable, home insurance and sometimes washes dishes.
I think we have a pretty good quality of life living like this. she helps with the kids at the drop of a hat and her income helps with things we need done around the house.

Assuming you get along with the elders, and it seems like you do, this was not at all a sacrifice to you. It was an upgrade. I think the OP is talking more about situations where the elders are in bad financial situations and really need a hand. You moved into grandma's place which, by your own admission, was a nicer bigger house. She was obviously doing well for herself and just needed some physical help at the end of her life. Now it's a free house for you.

 

[HydroSqueegee]

Assuming you get along with the elders, and it seems like you do, this was not at all a sacrifice to you. It was an upgrade. I think the OP is talking more about situations where the elders are in bad financial situations and really need a hand. You moved into grandma's place which, by your own admission, was a nicer bigger house. She was obviously doing well for herself and just needed some physical help at the end of her life. Now it's a free house for you.

not free, but pretty cheap. Granny was old school and had enough in savings to live out the rest of her life no problem. My Mother in law has almost no savings (2 Bankruptcies), but works 40 hours a week. She'll get retirement from GE when she goes out in the next few years, maybe enough to live on if she were on her own. But her quality of life wouldnt be that good. Shes not at all healthy (would eat nothing but fast food), doesnt cook, never gets out. She would have little interaction outside of work. So we raise her life quality quite a bit from the home cooked food and she gets to see her grandkids every day.

 

[GT1999]

I don't really understand your thought process on this one. There's a very good chance your kids will have to work all day to support their own children even and save up for their own retirement. A lot of people go to nursing homes because they can't care for themselves in their old age, even if they have money for it. As for your S.O., assuming you don't just flat out outlive them they are probably also in a state where they are less able to care for themselves, much less the daunting task of another elderly person on top of that.

I suppose if you really save a ton of money you might be able to hire a live in nurse.

That's where my logic may be different than yours. My S.O. is a nurse. She's also 6 years younger, so she'll probably out live me.

And by having kids that care, I merely meant as a place to stay. That in itself can save quite a bit of money. I didn't mean financially taking money from them. That's where the 401k/pension/SS/etc would come into play.

When my grandmother was sick with cancer, she rotated between all of her children as a place to stay. It worked out pretty well and didn't put the burden on any on child, and she never had to stay in a nursing home.