Stupid things people say at work

[pontifex]

We all know the "Case of the Mondays" saying from Office Space, right?

Does anyone have any co-workers that say stupid things like that?

There's a guy here that keeps an almost daily tally of how long his computer has gone without problems. Just today he comes by and says "2 weeks without problems now"

what pisses me off about it is that every time he does that, something goes wrong with his PC so I have to go fix it.

I really don't understand what these people do to their PCs to fvck them up so much.
They're just using Office and the manufacturing software, so why do they have all these problems??? I don't think i've ever had a problem with my PC here at work.

 

[krunchykrome]

You need to find a new job. You have a new rant everyday.

 

[blackdogdeek]

there's a guy here who will start out his sentences with "what i mean is" even if it's the first sentence in the whole conversation.

 

[ahurtt]

Maybe the job is not the problem.

Ok, here's mine: Ever try to listen to a programmer/developer try and explain how something works to somebody? I swear every other word is "basically."

 

[pontifex]

seriously, i know. there just isn't anything out there.

i called the local CC last night. i might try to go in this week to see a counselor and maybe get started.

 

[krunchykrome]

Originally posted by: blackdogdeek
there's a guy here who will start out his sentences with "what i mean is" even if it's the first sentence in the whole conversation.

Thats actually kind of funny.

"What I mean is, good morning"

 

[Zysoclaplem]

Plant illegal materials on his PC. Call the FBI.

 

[ShotgunSteven]

"<Insert name of something here> needs fixed."

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: ahurtt
Maybe the job is not the problem.

Ok, here's mine: Ever try to listen to a programmer/developer try and explain how something works to somebody? I swear every other word is "basically."

no, its definitely the job.

i worked with a guy at my last job who did the same thing but wasn't a programmer or developer.

 

[blackdogdeek]

my manager will also call a bug fix "an easy fix" having no idea how easy or difficult it actually is. that is really annoying.

 

[Platypus]

We had a guy we called 'the noise factory' as he would make some downright inhuman, fvcked up sounds. My coworker next to me couldn't stand this guy either. For no reason at all during the day he'd just let out this sigh that was high pitched and went on for about 20 seconds... his sneezes would shake the phone on my desk, his laugh was like a leprecaun with downs syndrome. He would also get random phone calls during the day and give out google maps directions to random people, it was the weirdest thing.

Luckily he transferred departments and I don't have to drown him out with music anymore.

 

[paulxcook]

Assuming he wasn't speaking, a guy I used to work with would clear his throat every 10-20 seconds. Ahem. Umhem. Ahem. All day long. When he did speak, he sounded like Marvin the Martian.

 

[R Nilla]

A former co-worker of mine would pronounce "URL" phonetically, as in "Earl." They knew that "U-R-L" was the generally accepted term, but still preferred "Earl." It generally confused the hell out of anyone they ever said it to.

 

[Demon-Xanth]

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: ahurtt
Maybe the job is not the problem.

Ok, here's mine: Ever try to listen to a programmer/developer try and explain how something works to somebody? I swear every other word is "basically."

no, its definitely the job.

i worked with a guy at my last job who did the same thing but wasn't a programmer or developer.

That's because virtually nobody anymore has any clue how the code actually works. And since the people they're explaining it to have no clue what the code is supposed to do. It's like a 5 year old explaining how nuclear fission and fusion work to a new born. In the end it's completely pointless even if they knew the topic, which they don't.

 

[Aharami]

Originally posted by: paulxcook
Assuming he wasn't speaking, a guy I used to work with would clear his throat every 10-20 seconds. Ahem. Umhem. Ahem. All day long. When he did speak, he sounded like Marvin the Martian.

is he a chain-smoker? i have a coworker like that too and he's a chain smoker

 

[krunchykrome]

Actually, this thread reminds me of a woman I used to work with at an old job. She would clear her throat every 15-30 seconds the entire day, every day. I dont know if she was sick or she just didnt take good care of herself, but it started getting very annoying. I contemplated leaving a bag of throat drops on her desk in the morning before she arrived.

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: Aharami

Originally posted by: paulxcook
Assuming he wasn't speaking, a guy I used to work with would clear his throat every 10-20 seconds. Ahem. Umhem. Ahem. All day long. When he did speak, he sounded like Marvin the Martian.

is he a chain-smoker? i have a coworker like that too and he's a chain smoker

that would be a good explanation.

 

[zebano]

There is one manager who in every meeting where we discus what features will make it into our next release says "we don't know what we don't know"...

 

[purbeast0]

Originally posted by: krunchykrome
You need to find a new job. You have a new rant every post.

fixed for troof.

this guy is probably the most negative person on the forums.

 

[blackdogdeek]

Originally posted by: zebano
There is one manager who in every meeting where we discus what features will make it into our next release says "we don't know what we don't know"...

ugh, my previous manager had a whole bag full of phrases like that.

"it is what it is"
"shine the light on the ugly thing"
"the devil's in the details"

 

[bucwylde23]

Originally posted by: paulxcook
Assuming he wasn't speaking, a guy I used to work with would clear his throat every 10-20 seconds. Ahem. Umhem. Ahem. All day long. When he did speak, he sounded like Marvin the Martian.

I worked with a guy that did the EXACT same thing. but his was a real loud AHEM. Other times it sounded like he was trying to hold back a cough, but coughed anyways and that made it sound really f'd up, like he was gagging. He also constantly "sniffed" like he had a runny nose, year round.


There is this guy who comes in our office, and whenever he walks buy and sees my computer screen he says "So what ya buyin'?" or something similar. Not only that, but he does it to EVERYONE in the office, one after the other. Drives me nuts.

 

[paulxcook]

Originally posted by: Aharami

Originally posted by: paulxcook
Assuming he wasn't speaking, a guy I used to work with would clear his throat every 10-20 seconds. Ahem. Umhem. Ahem. All day long. When he did speak, he sounded like Marvin the Martian.

is he a chain-smoker? i have a coworker like that too and he's a chain smoker

I never saw him smoke.

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: purbeast0

Originally posted by: krunchykrome
You need to find a new job. You have a new rant every post.

fixed for troof.

this guy is probably the most negative person on the forums.

not every post.

 

[bucwylde23]

Also, the older guys that I work with like to tack on "in theory" whenever they explain something.

 

[R Nilla]

Originally posted by: purbeast0

Originally posted by: krunchykrome
You need to find a new job. You have a new rant every post.

fixed for troof.

this guy is probably the most negative person on the forums.

With all of the members that exist solely to ridicule others and flaunt their e-penis? Not even close.