stupid criminals: Man With Knives in Pants Stabs Himself

vexingv

Golden Member
Aug 8, 2002
1,163
1
81
i read this story from the AP and i thought it was just too hilarious:
Man With Knives in Pants Stabs Himself
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Published: January 8, 2008

Filed at 4:42 p.m. ET

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. (AP) -- A man who hid hunting knives in his pants to try to steal them from a western Michigan store tripped while fleeing and stabbed himself in the abdomen, police say.

The suspect was hospitalized after Monday night's attempted theft from a Meijer Inc. superstore in Grand Rapids and is expected to face a misdemeanor shoplifting charge, police say.

The wounds did not appear to be life-threatening, The Grand Rapids Press reported.

The man had put about $300 worth of hunting knives in his waistband, police told WZZM-TV. Police say he tried to leave the store, but Meijer employees confronted him and a scuffle followed.

The man then fell and was stabbed by the knives he had hidden in his clothing, police said. They said it happened about 5:40 p.m.

''The man was taken to the hospital,'' said Meijer spokesman Frank Giuliano. ''We are cooperating with the investigation by police.''

Police said the suspect has a record of retail fraud.

''I saw a man laying down on the mat by the carts, a knife by him with blood on the full blade of the knife,'' shopper Heather Dodd told WOOD-TV. ''It was not a dull kitchen knife or a sharp butcher's knife, it was somewhere in between.

''Someone was holding him down so I just walked around him, grabbed my cart, made sure everything was OK and got out of the way.''

this deserves to be on one of those jay leno "headlines" segments.
and of course, he got what he deserved. i wonder who's footing the medical costs...
 

Scouzer

Lifer
Jun 3, 2001
10,358
5
0
security guard: "he fell and stabbed himself with his own knife! that's what happened! i swear!" /scott free
 

hanoverphist

Diamond Member
Dec 7, 2006
9,867
23
76
Originally posted by: vexingv
i read this story from the AP and i thought it was just too hilarious:
Man With Knives in Pants Stabs Himself
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Published: January 8, 2008

Filed at 4:42 p.m. ET

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. (AP) -- A man who hid hunting knives in his pants to try to steal them from a western Michigan store tripped while fleeing and stabbed himself in the abdomen, police say.

The suspect was hospitalized after Monday night's attempted theft from a Meijer Inc. superstore in Grand Rapids and is expected to face a misdemeanor shoplifting charge, police say.

The wounds did not appear to be life-threatening, The Grand Rapids Press reported.

The man had put about $300 worth of hunting knives in his waistband, police told WZZM-TV. Police say he tried to leave the store, but Meijer employees confronted him and a scuffle followed.

The man then fell and was stabbed by the knives he had hidden in his clothing, police said. They said it happened about 5:40 p.m.

''The man was taken to the hospital,'' said Meijer spokesman Frank Giuliano. ''We are cooperating with the investigation by police.''

Police said the suspect has a record of retail fraud.

''I saw a man laying down on the mat by the carts, a knife by him with blood on the full blade of the knife,'' shopper Heather Dodd told WOOD-TV. ''It was not a dull kitchen knife or a sharp butcher's knife, it was somewhere in between.

''Someone was holding him down so I just walked around him, grabbed my cart, made sure everything was OK and got out of the way.''

this deserves to be on one of those jay leno "headlines" segments.
and of course, he got what he deserved. i wonder who's footing the medical costs...

i bet the store ends up covering it. wrong, but i bet it happens.
 

vexingv

Golden Member
Aug 8, 2002
1,163
1
81
Originally posted by: MmmSkyscraper
Here's another good one.

Man reports phone stolen, police call it, guess what happens next:

BBC News

what was this guy trying to do? commit insurance fraud to get a new phone? very idiotic.
 

BooGiMaN

Diamond Member
Jul 5, 2001
7,955
0
0
i bet the guy sues claiming the scuffle with store employees caused him injuries that led to pain and suffering...i bet he wins
 

maxster

Banned
Sep 19, 2007
628
0
0
Originally posted by: BooGiMaN
i bet the guy sues claiming the scuffle with store employees caused him injuries that led to pain and suffering...i bet he wins

Pretty much. He would win the lawsuit.