Stuck at work again...Make me laugh..The joke thread...

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compuwiz1

Admin Emeritus Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
27,113
925
126
This guy was fueling his car and the pump backwashed, soaking his longsleeved shirt. Grumbling, he finished fueling, put the pump back, and went for a cigarette. When he lit it, his whole arm caught on fire. About that time a cop drove up and said, "you are under arrest!". What for, asked the man? Illegal use of a Fire Arm, retorted the Cop. Hehe. :)
 
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snakesnfrogs

Banned
Mar 1, 2001
3,411
0
0
A man came home from the Social Security Office. 'Honey,' he said to his wife, 'I finally convinced them that I'm old enough to collect Social Security.'

'How?' his wife asked. 'Since the department of records in the small town you were born in was flooded, you can't get a copy of your birth certificate.'

'I know,' the man replied, 'I just unbuttoned my shirt and showed them all the gray hairs on my chest. That convinced them that I'm old enough.'

His wife replied, 'Then while you were at it, why didn't you whip out your d!ck and get disability, too?!'

RGN---I just meant not in the traditional sense:D
 
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BAMAVOO

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
8,089
41
91


<< WTF are you doing at work at this ungodly hour?? >>



Having to burn our servers to CD..Just the Boot drive though :D


You guys are killing me already :D :D :D
 
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BAMAVOO

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
8,089
41
91


<< Be sure to read the testimonials and watch the commercials >>



That is the funniest crap ever ;)


That has got to be bullstuff!



Little excerpt


<< Then she made a deal with me: If I'd bend over for her strap-on, she'd bend over for me. We take turns taking it up the poop chute, and now we finally feel like our relationship is fully equal >>




BWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA :D
 
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snakesnfrogs

Banned
Mar 1, 2001
3,411
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<< So, teens, the next time you strip down for sex, remember the TechnicalVirgin motto ? &quot;Everything Butt!&quot; >>



:D
 
OutHouse

OutHouse

Lifer
Jun 5, 2000
36,413
616
126
not a joke but a thought




If a chicken or turkey had nipples, would we still eat chicken/turkey breast?
 
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cherrytwist

Diamond Member
Apr 11, 2000
6,019
25
86
Granny's Box Of Condoms

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain.

One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What's that?

Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Lady 1: Where did you get it?

Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she prefers.

Lady 1: It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel.

The pharmacist fainted.
 
BigSmooth

BigSmooth

Lifer
Aug 18, 2000
10,483
7
81
Maxim's website has a bunch of jokes (click &quot;joke of the day&quot; in the nav bar on the left).
I would post a link, but many of the jokes are, uh, &quot;off-color&quot;. :)
 
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snakesnfrogs

Banned
Mar 1, 2001
3,411
0
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&quot;sure it hurts a little, and I wind up walking funny for a day or two, but I think my future's worth it&quot;



bwaaahahahahaha----I love that part.

:D
 
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