usually if they give me that i'm better than you attitude, their computer goes straight to hell. i'm here to help, no be messed with hehe 
I was rackin up some frags in UT the other day, then one of my roomates comes over.
Roomate: wow, that looks pretty sweet! what video adapter are you using?
Me: ATi radeon ddr 32megger.
Roomate: All i know is Creative Geforce2 Annihilator WILL destroy everything once it comes out!
Me: (silence)
Roomate: I think one of those days they are gonna grab one of those pentium class processors too slow for a CPU and turn them into a killer video chip (paraphrased by me)
Me: sigh -_-
Roomate: wow, that looks pretty sweet! what video adapter are you using?
Me: ATi radeon ddr 32megger.
Roomate: All i know is Creative Geforce2 Annihilator WILL destroy everything once it comes out!
Me: (silence)
Roomate: I think one of those days they are gonna grab one of those pentium class processors too slow for a CPU and turn them into a killer video chip (paraphrased by me)
Me: sigh -_-
This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline which was
transcribed from a recording, monitoring the customer care
department. needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired;
however, customer service representative is currently suing the
Word Perfect organisation for "Termination without Cause."
Actual dialogue of a former Word Perfect Customer Support employee
(Now i know why they record these conversations!)
"Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may i help you?"
"Yes, well, i'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well I was just typing along and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away??"
"They disappeared."
"Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing??"
"It's blank; it wont accept anything when i type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
"How do i tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
"Whats a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind, can you move the cursor around the screen?"
"There isnt any cursor: I told you, it wont accept anything i type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"Whats a monitor?"
"Its the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when its on??"
"I dont know."
"Well look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes
into it. Can you see that??"
"Yes I think so."
"Great follow the cord to the plug and tell me if its plugged into the wall."
"Yes it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did u notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
"No."
"Well there are. I need you to look back again and find the other cable."
"Okay here it is."
"Follow it for me and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of
your computer."
"I cant reach."
"Uh huh. Well can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean over??"
"Oh, its not because I dont have the right angle - its because
it's dark."
"Dark??"
"Yes - the office light is off and the only light i have is coming in
from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not??"
"Because theres a power failure."
"A power.... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you
still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when
you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, allright then, I suppose. What do i tell them?"
"Tell them you're too fvcking stupid to own a computer
transcribed from a recording, monitoring the customer care
department. needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired;
however, customer service representative is currently suing the
Word Perfect organisation for "Termination without Cause."
Actual dialogue of a former Word Perfect Customer Support employee
(Now i know why they record these conversations!)
"Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may i help you?"
"Yes, well, i'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well I was just typing along and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away??"
"They disappeared."
"Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing??"
"It's blank; it wont accept anything when i type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
"How do i tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
"Whats a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind, can you move the cursor around the screen?"
"There isnt any cursor: I told you, it wont accept anything i type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"Whats a monitor?"
"Its the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when its on??"
"I dont know."
"Well look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes
into it. Can you see that??"
"Yes I think so."
"Great follow the cord to the plug and tell me if its plugged into the wall."
"Yes it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did u notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
"No."
"Well there are. I need you to look back again and find the other cable."
"Okay here it is."
"Follow it for me and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of
your computer."
"I cant reach."
"Uh huh. Well can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean over??"
"Oh, its not because I dont have the right angle - its because
it's dark."
"Dark??"
"Yes - the office light is off and the only light i have is coming in
from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not??"
"Because theres a power failure."
"A power.... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you
still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when
you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, allright then, I suppose. What do i tell them?"
"Tell them you're too fvcking stupid to own a computer
MustangSVT
Lifer
- Oct 7, 2000
- 11,554
- 12
- 81
holy crap! is that for real? im devoting my self to keep this post on top top top, this sh*t is too funny. too bad i dont work as a techie so i dont have funny stories but that power failure story was damn funny hehe.
Oh man. I'll NEVER forget one customer I had while at work.
They called up, wanting to setup the internet. This was back in the day before Win98 was widely used, and we still had to walk the win95 users through the installation of DUN. Thank god they had Win98, because I could never have went through the lenghty setup with them. We weren't getting anywhere, and I finally figured out why. When I told them to open up 'My Computer', they were clicking on 'My Computer' once, and then clicking on the Start button.
Hense, forever since, I've used "double click on..." whenever I have someone try and open something. And people still have trouble with that concept.
And how do people totally miss the right mouse button!?!
There's a website with tons of rants like those, I think it's www.customerssuck.com or something of that nature
They called up, wanting to setup the internet. This was back in the day before Win98 was widely used, and we still had to walk the win95 users through the installation of DUN. Thank god they had Win98, because I could never have went through the lenghty setup with them. We weren't getting anywhere, and I finally figured out why. When I told them to open up 'My Computer', they were clicking on 'My Computer' once, and then clicking on the Start button.
Hense, forever since, I've used "double click on..." whenever I have someone try and open something. And people still have trouble with that concept.
And how do people totally miss the right mouse button!?!
There's a website with tons of rants like those, I think it's www.customerssuck.com or something of that nature
the sci-fi channel is remaking "Dune"
BUWHAHAAHAHHAHA
*thinks*
wait hmmmm can't think of anything else my internetworking teach has done stupid lately....
oh well
BUWHAHAAHAHHAHA
*thinks*
wait hmmmm can't think of anything else my internetworking teach has done stupid lately....
oh well
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