Here is the situation....
I've been in a relationship with a woman for about two months. We have not had sex yet (only kissing/fondling/cuddling). The problem that is going to arise is my fear of her sexual past. She has been married once. She is 21, I am 22. She was married when she was 18. She has two children out of her first marriage. I have never been married. She has been ALOT more sexually active than I have. I have only been with one other woman sexually. And I was with that woman for four years. By ALOT I mean about 10 people. I want her to be tested for HIV/STD's before I do sleep with her. I feel I owe it to myself to have her do that, to protect my health. Right now she is on norplant so I'm not worried about pregnancy.
She is a very nice girl. She was raised in a good household. She had a brother who was a little younger than her. He died from being shot while hunting and her life fell apart. She married her first husband and he beat her and she was dumb enough to stay with him. She got into methamphetamines and a few other drugs (she's been off drugs for 2 years). She cheated on him while she was with him too. After she divorced her husband she met another guy who only used her for sex, he proposed to her and then told her that he didn't care about her anymore.
[Here is where I come in]
So after this she decides to straighten her life out. She applies to the place that I work under my department. I was her trainer. At first there was nothing between us, strictly business. We started training on a monday and the wednesday of that week I found out that she had shot herself hunting (yes horrible coincidence concidering her brother died the same way). I do care alot about my trainees and their future so I bought her a nice boquet of flowers and took it to her. I talked to her for about 2 hours till it was time for me to go back to training the class that she used to be in. Two to three weeks past and out of the blue I get a call and it's her. It shocked me at first. She said that she had always been interested in getting to know me and would like to get to know me further. I agreed to get to know her better because I was single at the time. She has been really straightforward with me about everything. She told me that she cheated on her husband (out of revenge she said, I told her that was still wrong and she agreed). She wants to straighten out her life and I'm a forgiving person by nature. She's always had really bad luck with guys and she always says that she's glad she met me. I do feel that I can trust her just because of all the things that she has been through and she wants to change. And yes I believe her when she says that she wants to change. She's studying to be a child psychologist (She's been through about everything they go through, so it would be a good field for her). She had to have her leg amputated from the knee down when she shot herself. She just had the remainder of the stitches taken out today. She will have a prosthetic leg as soon as the leg is completely healed. She is a gorgeous woman and none of this means anything to me if she honestly wants to make everything right and loves me.
I really do like this woman. And I want to help her correct everything that was wrong in the past with her life. And if she's willing to change I would adopt her kids as my own. I'm not in a rush to jump into anything by any means and I've told her that. Another important thing to add is that her first husband and her divorced because when she got pregnant with her son he told her that she would abort the baby or he would kill her. So she divorced him and moved away from him. *Edit* The father has NEVER saw his son. He has saw his daughter a few times but not within the last year or so. He doesn't pay child support so she is completely on her own. Right now she is living with her parents (who thankfully are really supportive of her throughout everything she has been through).
All being said I need to know how to tell her that I would like her to be tested for STD's/HIV. This is going to be a REALLY sensitive subject somewhere in the near future. My sexual past has only included one woman who was a virgin when I met her (at age 14) so I'm quite sure I'm safe.
So what do I do? Do I...
A) Tell her that I would like her to be tested and hope that she understands?
B) Tell her that both of us should be tested even though I know that I'm safe?
I've been going back and forth with this for a while. Just thought I would get some other people's opinions on it before I make a final decision. I'm going to try to get some professional opinions on this as well.
If you have any questions about the relationship so far that I've left out feel free to ask.
Thanks in advance for any advice,
Joshua
P.S Please don't make comments like..
"Yikes. You're gonna get burned. This woman has serious problems and you want to be the knight in shining armor? If I were you I'd forget about her."
Even though it is advice it's not the type I'm looking for, I've already stated I've forgiven this woman for her past.
I've been in a relationship with a woman for about two months. We have not had sex yet (only kissing/fondling/cuddling). The problem that is going to arise is my fear of her sexual past. She has been married once. She is 21, I am 22. She was married when she was 18. She has two children out of her first marriage. I have never been married. She has been ALOT more sexually active than I have. I have only been with one other woman sexually. And I was with that woman for four years. By ALOT I mean about 10 people. I want her to be tested for HIV/STD's before I do sleep with her. I feel I owe it to myself to have her do that, to protect my health. Right now she is on norplant so I'm not worried about pregnancy.
She is a very nice girl. She was raised in a good household. She had a brother who was a little younger than her. He died from being shot while hunting and her life fell apart. She married her first husband and he beat her and she was dumb enough to stay with him. She got into methamphetamines and a few other drugs (she's been off drugs for 2 years). She cheated on him while she was with him too. After she divorced her husband she met another guy who only used her for sex, he proposed to her and then told her that he didn't care about her anymore.
[Here is where I come in]
So after this she decides to straighten her life out. She applies to the place that I work under my department. I was her trainer. At first there was nothing between us, strictly business. We started training on a monday and the wednesday of that week I found out that she had shot herself hunting (yes horrible coincidence concidering her brother died the same way). I do care alot about my trainees and their future so I bought her a nice boquet of flowers and took it to her. I talked to her for about 2 hours till it was time for me to go back to training the class that she used to be in. Two to three weeks past and out of the blue I get a call and it's her. It shocked me at first. She said that she had always been interested in getting to know me and would like to get to know me further. I agreed to get to know her better because I was single at the time. She has been really straightforward with me about everything. She told me that she cheated on her husband (out of revenge she said, I told her that was still wrong and she agreed). She wants to straighten out her life and I'm a forgiving person by nature. She's always had really bad luck with guys and she always says that she's glad she met me. I do feel that I can trust her just because of all the things that she has been through and she wants to change. And yes I believe her when she says that she wants to change. She's studying to be a child psychologist (She's been through about everything they go through, so it would be a good field for her). She had to have her leg amputated from the knee down when she shot herself. She just had the remainder of the stitches taken out today. She will have a prosthetic leg as soon as the leg is completely healed. She is a gorgeous woman and none of this means anything to me if she honestly wants to make everything right and loves me.
I really do like this woman. And I want to help her correct everything that was wrong in the past with her life. And if she's willing to change I would adopt her kids as my own. I'm not in a rush to jump into anything by any means and I've told her that. Another important thing to add is that her first husband and her divorced because when she got pregnant with her son he told her that she would abort the baby or he would kill her. So she divorced him and moved away from him. *Edit* The father has NEVER saw his son. He has saw his daughter a few times but not within the last year or so. He doesn't pay child support so she is completely on her own. Right now she is living with her parents (who thankfully are really supportive of her throughout everything she has been through).
All being said I need to know how to tell her that I would like her to be tested for STD's/HIV. This is going to be a REALLY sensitive subject somewhere in the near future. My sexual past has only included one woman who was a virgin when I met her (at age 14) so I'm quite sure I'm safe.
So what do I do? Do I...
A) Tell her that I would like her to be tested and hope that she understands?
B) Tell her that both of us should be tested even though I know that I'm safe?
I've been going back and forth with this for a while. Just thought I would get some other people's opinions on it before I make a final decision. I'm going to try to get some professional opinions on this as well.
If you have any questions about the relationship so far that I've left out feel free to ask.
Thanks in advance for any advice,
Joshua
P.S Please don't make comments like..
"Yikes. You're gonna get burned. This woman has serious problems and you want to be the knight in shining armor? If I were you I'd forget about her."
Even though it is advice it's not the type I'm looking for, I've already stated I've forgiven this woman for her past.
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