Steve jobs ain't dyin man

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zoiks

Lifer
Jan 13, 2000
11,787
3
81
Text

Dear Apple Community,

For the first time in a decade, I?m getting to spend the holiday season with my family, rather than intensely preparing for a Macworld keynote.

Unfortunately, my decision to have Phil deliver the Macworld keynote set off another flurry of rumors about my health, with some even publishing stories of me on my deathbed.

I?ve decided to share something very personal with the Apple community so that we can all relax and enjoy the show tomorrow.

As many of you know, I have been losing weight throughout 2008. The reason has been a mystery to me and my doctors. A few weeks ago, I decided that getting to the root cause of this and reversing it needed to become my #1 priority.

Fortunately, after further testing, my doctors think they have found the cause?a hormone imbalance that has been ?robbing? me of the proteins my body needs to be healthy. Sophisticated blood tests have confirmed this diagnosis.

The remedy for this nutritional problem is relatively simple and straightforward, and I?ve already begun treatment. But, just like I didn?t lose this much weight and body mass in a week or a month, my doctors expect it will take me until late this Spring to regain it. I will continue as Apple?s CEO during my recovery.

I have given more than my all to Apple for the past 11 years now. I will be the first one to step up and tell our Board of Directors if I can no longer continue to fulfill my duties as Apple?s CEO. I hope the Apple community will support me in my recovery and know that I will always put what is best for Apple first.

So now I?ve said more than I wanted to say, and all that I am going to say, about this.

Steve
Click to expand...
 
amdhunter

amdhunter

Lifer
May 19, 2003
23,332
249
106
That makes me feel so much better. I am going to purchase a TON of Apple stock. It's a good time to buy.
 
D

darkxshade

Lifer
Mar 31, 2001
13,749
6
81
Originally posted by: zoiks
Text

Dear Apple Community,

For the first time in a decade, I?m getting to spend the holiday season with my family, rather than intensely preparing for a Macworld keynote.

Unfortunately, my decision to have Phil deliver the Macworld keynote set off another flurry of rumors about my health, with some even publishing stories of me on my deathbed.

I?ve decided to share something very personal with the Apple community so that we can all relax and enjoy the show tomorrow.

As many of you know, I have been losing weight throughout 2008. The reason has been a mystery to me and my doctors. A few weeks ago, I decided that getting to the root cause of this and reversing it needed to become my #1 priority.

Fortunately, after further testing, my doctors think they have found the cause?a hormone imbalance that has been ?robbing? me of the proteins my body needs to be healthy. Sophisticated blood tests have confirmed this diagnosis.

The remedy for this nutritional problem is relatively simple and straightforward, and I?ve already begun treatment. But, just like I didn?t lose this much weight and body mass in a week or a month, my doctors expect it will take me until late this Spring to regain it. I will continue as Apple?s CEO during my recovery.

I have given more than my all to Apple for the past 11 years now. I will be the first one to step up and tell our Board of Directors if I can no longer continue to fulfill my duties as Apple?s CEO. I hope the Apple community will support me in my recovery and know that I will always put what is best for Apple first.

So now I?ve said more than I wanted to say, and all that I am going to say, about this.

Steve
Click to expand...
Click to expand...

lemme guess, he has to eat an apple a day.
 
ElFenix

ElFenix

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Mar 20, 2000
102,402
8,574
126
so the internet diagnosis of 'eat a cheezburger' is correct?
 
ultimatebob

ultimatebob

Lifer
Jul 1, 2001
25,134
2,450
126
Originally posted by: ivan2
really, Steve, how about a picture of you holding today's paper?
Click to expand...

Wouldn't work... Apple probably has some of the best Photoshoppers in the business working for them. They could have Steve Jobs standing ON THE MOON holding a copy of today's paper, and it would still somehow look realistic :)
 
mugs

mugs

Lifer
Apr 29, 2003
48,920
46
91
Originally posted by: ultimatebob
Originally posted by: ivan2
really, Steve, how about a picture of you holding today's paper?
Click to expand...

Wouldn't work... Apple probably has some of the best Photoshoppers in the business working for them. They could have Steve Jobs standing ON THE MOON holding a copy of today's paper, and it would still somehow look realistic :)
Click to expand...

How about a picture of Steve Jobs standing on the sun holding a copy of today's papar? :Q
 
ElFenix

ElFenix

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Mar 20, 2000
102,402
8,574
126
Originally posted by: mugs

How about a picture of Steve Jobs standing on the sun holding a copy of today's Sun? :Q
Click to expand...

fixed
 
OrByte

OrByte

Diamond Member
Jul 21, 2000
9,303
144
106
believable

He could have developed a hyperthyroid...it happens to cancer survivors.

 
theflyingpig

theflyingpig

Banned
Mar 9, 2008
5,616
18
0
THANK GOD ????? ??? ????? ???? Gràcies a Déu ???? Hvala Bogu Díkybohu Luojan kiitos Gott sei Dank ???? ??? Grazie a Dio ???? ????? ????, Gracias a Dios GUDSKELOV
 
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