Gotta love emails. They give you so many good laughs sometimes
>Whatever happened to making money " the old fashioned
>way.?"
>
>
>It's time once again to review the winners of the annual
>"Stella Awards". The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella
Liebeck
>who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That
case
>inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits
in
>the United States.
>
>Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonalds,
>the teens who allege that eating at McDonalds has made them
>fat, was filed after the 2002 award voting was closed. This suit
>will, no doubt, top the 2003 list with out question.
>
>
>Here are this year's winners:
>
>5th Place(tie): Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was
> awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking
> her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside
> a furniture store. The owners of the store were
> understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the
> misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.
>
>5th Place(tie): A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles
> won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor
> ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.. Mr. Truman
> apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel
> of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's
> hubcaps.
>
>5th Place(tie): Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania,
> was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way
> of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to
> go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning.
> He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting
> the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The
> family was on vacation, and Mr.Dickson found himself
> locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case
> of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued
> the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused
> him undue mental anguish. Of course the jury agreed to
> the tune of $500,000.
>
>4th Place: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was
> awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten
> on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle.
> The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard.
> The award was less than sought because the jury felt the
> dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by
> Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into the yard
> and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
>
>3rd Place: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay
> Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after
> she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone).
> The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had
> thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an
>argument.
>
>
>
>2nd Place: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully
> sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when
> she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked
> out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton
> was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room
> to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded
> $12,000 and dental expenses.
>
>1st Place:
>
>This year's run away winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of
>Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot
>Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, (from an OU football
game),
>having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph
and
>calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a
cup of
>coffee.
>Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the freeway, crashed and
>overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising
>him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this.
>The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motorhome.
>The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of
>this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons
>buying their recreation vehicles.
>
>
>
>
>Whatever happened to making money " the old fashioned
>way.?"
>
>
>It's time once again to review the winners of the annual
>"Stella Awards". The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella
Liebeck
>who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That
case
>inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits
in
>the United States.
>
>Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonalds,
>the teens who allege that eating at McDonalds has made them
>fat, was filed after the 2002 award voting was closed. This suit
>will, no doubt, top the 2003 list with out question.
>
>
>Here are this year's winners:
>
>5th Place(tie): Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was
> awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking
> her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside
> a furniture store. The owners of the store were
> understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the
> misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.
>
>5th Place(tie): A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles
> won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor
> ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.. Mr. Truman
> apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel
> of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's
> hubcaps.
>
>5th Place(tie): Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania,
> was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way
> of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to
> go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning.
> He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting
> the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The
> family was on vacation, and Mr.Dickson found himself
> locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case
> of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued
> the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused
> him undue mental anguish. Of course the jury agreed to
> the tune of $500,000.
>
>4th Place: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was
> awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten
> on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle.
> The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard.
> The award was less than sought because the jury felt the
> dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by
> Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into the yard
> and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
>
>3rd Place: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay
> Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after
> she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone).
> The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had
> thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an
>argument.
>
>
>
>2nd Place: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully
> sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when
> she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked
> out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton
> was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room
> to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded
> $12,000 and dental expenses.
>
>1st Place:
>
>This year's run away winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of
>Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot
>Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, (from an OU football
game),
>having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph
and
>calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a
cup of
>coffee.
>Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the freeway, crashed and
>overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising
>him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this.
>The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motorhome.
>The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of
>this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons
>buying their recreation vehicles.
>
>
>
>
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