Star Wars Episode 1 review

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Ika

Ika

Lifer
Mar 22, 2006
14,264
3
81
What the hell, a 70-minute review for a movie that is 130 minutes long AND CAME OUT IN FREAKIN 1999?
 
adlep

adlep

Diamond Member
Mar 25, 2001
5,287
6
81
The review is true...
Thanks MR. Lucas for fucking up an unfuckable movie...Yet he did it?
Idocracy in action unfortunately and the rate of stupidity in our society is accelerating too...
 
E

Eli

Super Moderator | Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
50,419
8
81
No way I'll watch the whole thing, but part 1 was pretty amusing.
 
T

theprodigalrebel

Lifer
Oct 4, 2004
10,515
6
81
Just watched the first part. The bit where he posed the 'describe this character' question to four people was awesome. I think I might watch the other six as well.

I watched A New Hope a few years ago and got around to watching it again recently, followed by The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi and The Phantom Menace only about a month ago. Yup, didn't bother with Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith.
 
UberNeuman

UberNeuman

Lifer
Nov 4, 1999
16,937
3,087
126
v1001 said:
There are actually only a few elements that ruin the whole tone. It really wouldn't be a hard fix. Could redo jar jar or at least his voice.

The thing is I think he was going for a more lighthearted feel. A time when things were better and we watch that slip away. But it just didn't work with the aspects he chose to pull that off. Then it got darker from there and improved as it did. I liked 2 and 3. And I could see 1 being fixed with some minor changes (that would make a major difference).

(I didn't watch the video I'm on 3G)
Click to expand...

What this review does is it not only goes after what's easily pointed out, but attacks what has been missed... It takes the whole film apart and the ground work that sets up the next two "films."
 
mugs

mugs

Lifer
Apr 29, 2003
48,920
46
91
I don't know... if I wanted to watch a 70 minute video about The Phantom Menace I'd probably just watch Fanboys. I mean, Kristen Bell is hot.
 
AbAbber2k

AbAbber2k

Diamond Member
Mar 1, 2005
6,474
1
0
His voice forced me to turn it off before I hit the 60sec mark. That said. The Phantom Menace sucked dick.
 
J

JJ650

Golden Member
Apr 16, 2000
1,959
0
76
I watched all of it. Pretty entertaining review. I kinda thought he had a Zoidberg voice.
 
T

theprodigalrebel

Lifer
Oct 4, 2004
10,515
6
81
Watched all 7 parts. Incredibly detailed and valid criticism of the movie. Reviewers like to throw around words like 'plot holes' and 'logical missteps' all the time without ever really pointing out what those were - this guy explained every bloody flaw in excruciating details and even suggested solid improvements. Awesome review, and you don't even have to be a Star Wars fan to like it.
 
Unmoosical

Unmoosical

Senior member
Feb 27, 2006
372
0
0
That was definitely an awesome review. Hearing of a 70-min review I didn't think there was any way I'd watch it all but I'm glad I did.
 
Slapstick

Slapstick

Golden Member
Oct 11, 1999
1,082
0
0
He had a valid point the pizza roll scene made no sense at all, I mean just what was Lucas going for?
 
A

Agentbolt

Diamond Member
Jul 9, 2004
3,340
1
0
He makes some solid points, but overall I'm not that impressed with some of the stuff he chose to harp on. He spends 30 minutes bitching about how the Lightstaber duels became more about choreography than substance. Fine, fair enough. He then points out that the first duel, between Vader and Obi-Wan, was the most interesting.

Okay, now you've lost me. It had solid gold dialogue such as "Only a master of evil, Darth!", no real point (why where they fighting? There was no reason for it. Nothing was riding on it), and yes, such horrible and creaky choreography that it completely takes you out of the moment. They fought like old people fuck. It was awful.

Say what you will about the lack of dialogue or logic behind the lightsaber duel in Phantom, but it was a well executed fight scene that showed one thing very well: Jedi are unbelievable badasses and possess borderline super powers. That was the point of that fight. The point of the fight in A New Hope was to kill off Obi Wan in a way that was believable, and the only other option was for him to just die of a heart attack while trying too hard to take a dump.
 
akugami

akugami

Diamond Member
Feb 14, 2005
6,210
2,548
136
I can't call staging intricate lightsaber duels a negative. True Jedi warriors are suppose to have undergone extensive training with the lightsaber and martial arts in general. Not to mention they use Force powers to augment their fighting skills.

And yes, Lucas did what no one thought possible and ruined Star Wars.
 
newnameman

newnameman

Platinum Member
Nov 20, 2002
2,219
0
0
I just got done with watching all 7 parts. Definitely worth the 70 minutes, and far more entertaining than the actual movie.
 
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