Stalin, Brezhnev and Gorbachev are riding in a train.

[Martin]

All of a sudden the train stops. Stalin gets mad and yells "Shoot the damn driver!", but Brezhenev tries to calm him down and says "No, no. Let's just close the curtains and say the train is still moving". Gorbachev waits for them to finish and tells them "No, you've both got it all wrong - we must go outside and push the train."

 

[HamburgerBoy]

 

[Slew Foot]

must be a Russian thing.

 

[mercanucaribe]

I'm assuming it's a political joke, but I don't know anything about Brezhenev.



In Soviet Russia, train stops you!

 

[dighn]

insufficient historical knowledge

 

[xSkyDrAx]

wow that one almost took my head off

 

[Martin]

well, it mocks their economic policies and I thought it was pretty funny.

perhaps I should've posted in P&N.

 

[grrl]

Originally posted by: Martin
well, it mocks their economic policies and I thought it was pretty funny.

perhaps I should've posted in P&N.

Well, I got it, but I still didn't laugh.

In Mother Russia joke laughs at you!

 

[Brentx]

Originally posted by: Martin
well, it mocks their economic policies and I thought it was pretty funny.

perhaps I should've posted in P&N.

I thought it was funny

 

[Mo0o]

I kind of get it.

 

[YOyoYOhowsDAjello]

The funny part is how little I know about politics

 

[Colt45]

this is the version I know, i like it better.

Lenin, Stalin, Krushchev and Brezhnev are all travelling together in a railway carriage. Unexpectedly the train stops. Lenin suggests: "Perhaps, we should call a subbotnik, so that workers and peasants fix the problem." Stalin puts his head out of the window and shouts, "If the train does not start moving, the driver will be executed!" But the train doesn't start moving. Khrushchev then shouts, "Let's take the rails behind the train and use them to construct the tracks in the front" But it still doesn't move. Brezhnev then says, "Comrades, Comrades, let's draw the curtains, turn on the gramophone and pretend we're moving!"

 

[TheChort]

I found a whole stockpile of soviet jokes here

I was looking for the one about the man paid to sit on the Kremlin and announce the arrival of communism, and how the US offers him a job to sit on the statue of liberty and announce the second coming of christ.

I guess, since I started it, I'll finish it. So here goes the rest...

The US offers him 3x the money for their version of the job. The man thinks about it for a while, but eventually turns them down. When the US asks him why, he answers,
"Job Security. It's possible that one day Jesus might return, and after that, I'll be out of a job. But with communism, I'm guaranteed this job for the rest of my life."

I know, I probably f'ed it up, but that's why I was looking for the better version in the first place.

 

[wazzledoozle]

 

[neutralizer]

I don't get it. I liked TheChort's joke though.

 

[chcarnage]

Reminds me of the "Ask Radio Erewan" jokes but I think they didn't make it to English because a part of them is not translatable. Some examples:

Question to Radio Erewan: "Is it true that Stalin is collecting jokes about him?"
- "In principle yes, but actually he collects the people who make the jokes."

Question to Radio Erewan: "Is it true that the intervention of Soviet troops in the Prague Spring was a reaction to a request of help from the Czechoslovakian government?"
- "In principle yes, the request of help was from the year 1939 and could be positively responded to in 1968."

Question to Radio Erewan: "Is it true that fleas and bug could start a revolution, too?"
- "In principle yes. In their veins too is flowing the blood of the working class."

Question to Radio Erewan: "Is there censorship of the press in the Soviet Union?"
- "In principle no. But regrettably we can't address this question in more detail."

Question to Radio Erewan: "Can a small functionary criticise a big functionary?"
- "In principle yes, but only once."

Question to Radio Erewan: "On which day exactly did Josef Stalin die?"
- "One does not know, but it was a holiday."

Question to Radio Erewan: "Is it yet permitted to eat mushrooms from Chernobil?"
- "In principle yes, but your toilet must not be connected to the public sewage."

Question to Radio Erewan: "Should I go to a conference in the West even though I have to pay for the train ticket myself?"
- "In principle yes, at least you don't have to buy a round-trip ticket."

 

[LtPage1]

Interesting commentary on historical Soviet regime politics.

Well ok, not at all interesting. I was expecting a joke, too. Lame.

 

[DaShen]

HAHAHAA that was hilarious! Nice one OP

 

[j00fek]

 

[GasX]

This joke requires some actual knowledge of the real world and 20th century history. That whooshing sound you hear is the joke going over 90% of ATer's heads.

 

[DainBramaged]

Originally posted by: chcarnage
Question to Radio Erewan: "Is it true that the intervention of Soviet troops in the Prague Spring was a reaction to a request of help from the Czechoslovakian government?"
- "In principle yes, the request of help was from the year 1939 and could be positively responded to in 1968."

Question to Radio Erewan: "Can a small functionary criticise a big functionary?"
- "In principle yes, but only once."

Question to Radio Erewan: "Is it yet permitted to eat mushrooms from Chernobil?"
- "In principle yes, but your toilet must not be connected to the public sewage."

 

[Demon-Xanth]

Good jokes

 

[chrisms]

It's more of a metaphor than a joke

 

[rudder]

Originally posted by: Martin
well, it mocks their economic policies and I thought it was pretty funny.

perhaps I should've posted in P&N.

.... in 1985.