Squirrel Unsploder/Squirrel Desploder...


Oct 13, 2004
Squirrel unsploder

The squirrel unsploder is used, obviously, for unsploding squirrels. It is not effective on squirrel gibs, because it only unsplodes the squirrel, not desplodes it. How the two are different, I don't know, and I don't care, but all you need to know is that you should use the squirrel unsploder on the squirrel and then run away. Fast. They don't like to be imploded, and when you unsplode them they'll come back for revenge. Squirrels like nuts, and getting nuts and revenge, two in one, is very tempting...

What nuts? Don't ask. You don't want to find out.

Just remember to run away, because the squirrels want YOUR nuts.

Word of warning: never use a squirrel unsploder to unsplode anything besides asploded squirrells. Richard Nixon tried to do this with a martini and as a result the entire population of Ohio was either sterile or turned into small green glowing heptagons for a year.

Squirrel desploder

Some people don't like squirrels. Yes, we can't understand it either, but they just don't. Wouldn't it be nice, we thought, if it were possible to reassemble exploded squirrels thus annoying the dastardly fiends who would like to see them remaining in their less wholesome state? Of course it would be nice YOU RAVING FOOL, hence the squirrel desploder. It desplodes squirrels.


For more of the same: