Speeding Ticket EXCUSES

[churchdoesmatter]

This morning, on KIIS FM in Los Angeles, they were talking about how to get out of a speeding ticket. They had some guy who wrote a book about Speeding Ticket Excuses and he shared some of the secrets that get you out of a ticket on the radio.

Excuses:

Officer approaches your car. You say "I'm sooo very sorry Officer, but I left my curling iron on the table and I'm afraid it would burn the house down." (This excuse is good because if the officer doens't want to think what if the house really burnt down) personally , i wouldn't use it.

Officer approaches your car. Before he does, you carry a water bottle in your car and you wet your seat/pants. You say "I'm soooo very sorry Officer, but I had to go pee"

another guy always carries a police handbook and the police vehicle codes. he puts it in the back seat. Officer approaches your car. You say "I'm soooo very sorry Officer, do you think this ticket will hurt my chances joining the force?"

oh yeah, the guy on the radio also said that if you're a female, bring tears out.

 

[Migroo]

Female + tears always works...

I should know my GF does it! Naughty...

Anyway tips are:

Turn your music down
Wind down the window before he gets to the door
place your hands on the steering wheel where he can see them

IE: Dont piss him off.

 

[CraigRT]

my only excuse was once " i am very tired and TRYING TO GET HOME TO SLEEP "

since it was true, i really didn't care if it worked or not. I JUST WANTED TO SLEEP.. this was 4AM and I was going fast to get home to bed.

89 in a 60 :Q

He gave me the ticket and i raced the rest of the way home.

 

[Looney]

Tell him you have severe diarrhea... and if he doesn't believe you, you'll be happy to get out of the car and crap on the side for you.

Although that waterbottle idea sounds better.

 

[axelfox]

"These aren't the droids you're looking for" (waves hand)

 

[Rastus]

I only get it once a year, and tonight's the night.

 

[raz]

<< "These aren't the droids you're looking for" (waves hand) >>





Got stopped a few years ago. Cop says "I clocked you going 70. Did you know you were going that fast?" I reply "Uh uh, I thought I was going about 75". Brothers start cracking up, cop gets pissed, I get a ticket for the full amount...none of this "I only wrote you up for going xx over instead of the xx over that you were actually doing".

 

[cipher00]

Got stopped a few years ago. Cop says "I clocked you going 70. Did you know you were going that fast?" I reply "Uh uh, I thought I was going about 75". Brothers start cracking up, cop gets pissed, I get a ticket for the full amount...none of this "I only wrote you up for going xx over instead of the xx over that you were actually doing".


Oh, Lord.

 

[Ladies Man]

Me: Officer i have the chance tonight to live every mans dream...
Officer: 2 WOMEN?!?!
Me: That's right
Officer: LET THIS MAN THROUGH!
*me gets police escort to my house*

*if you saw just shoot me you'd get it a lot better*

 

[JankBaller]

I just wave my Desert Eagle in the rear window until he slows down, and drop my 911 in 4th, then get the hell outta there.

Just because you have a new IP doesn't mean you escape our watchful eyes. You have been banned before, under the name Icaras, among other nicknames, and you are banned again.

AnandTech Moderator

 

[Cyberian]

"I have no brakes and I was trying to get home before I got into an accident."

 

[Shermanator]

I know this girl that was going 20 over, and got pulled over, but she started crying and stuff, so she didn't get anything, not even a warning

 

[Looney]

I wonder if a grown man crying could get out of a ticket.

 

[Sepen]

My wife got pulled over and told the officer that she was going to throw up due to being pregnant. She was 5 months at the time. He let her go.

 

[DuffmanOhYeah]

"Im sorry officer, I was just masturbating to the thought of a big sexy officer such as yourself and I just lost my conscious" "Oops, I dropped my pen, could you bend over and pick it up for me?"
See if he don't run away screaming.





Ok, I have been up for 42 hours now, so I disclaim responsibility for that one.......It sounded funny in my head though.

 

[HansXP]

<< "Im sorry officer, I was just masturbating to the thought of a big sexy officer such as yourself and I just lost my conscious" "Oops, I dropped my pen, could you bend over and pick it up for me?"
See if he don't run away screaming.





Ok, I have been up for 42 hours now, so I disclaim responsibility for that one.......It sounded funny in my head though. >>



haha...that was kind of funny

 

[mrCide]

my friend told me he just starts FREAKING out (like crying/worrying/etc) and the cops let him off..

 

[mithrandir2001]

<< "These aren't the droids you're looking for" (waves hand) >>


ROTFL. If was a cop and somebody who I pulled over said that, I'd probably laugh on the spot and wither away in embarrassment. But you have to do it just right.

 

[Tominator]

True story:

State Cop pulls over speeder and cop walks up to driver's window.

Driver says, "Hi there officer! Collecting for the policeman's ball?"

Cop responds, " The state police don't have any balls."

The cop calmly folded his ticket book, walked back to his car and without another word drove away....

 

[lepper boy]

why no officer, that's not a jelly filled bismark under my license.......

 

[Pacfanweb]

Sir, why were you running from me?--Cop

Officer, my wife left me 2 months ago for a patrolman. I've realized since then how miserable she made me, and the first thing I thought when I saw your blue lights was that you were trying to give her back!


(paraphrase of a funny joke)