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Spanish speaking people: PLEASE help me with this

I need to hand this in in an hour! Can someone just tell me if the grammar is ok or if something needs to change? Thank you so much!

La computadora y la soda hacen una combinación muy mala. Puesto que mi dormitorio es muy pequeño, miro la televisión en mi escritorio de la computadora. ¡Un día, mientras que la soda que bebía, la botella entera se derramó en mi escritorio de la computadora! Funcioné a mi cuarto de baño para una toalla pero me olvidé de desenchufar la computadora. El olor del plástico ardiente llenó el aire mientras que mi computadora se quemó lentamente del interior hacia fuera. Comencé a aterrarme. Rápidamente limpié todo limpio pero el fuego comenzado quemarse mi escritorio. Pronto, el circuito corto dio lugar a mi energía perdidosa de la casa. Afortunadamente, mi casa no se quemó. Tristemente, mi computadora, teclado, y altavoces todos se rompieron. Tan delicioso como es la soda de la dieta y tan útil como son las computadoras, hacen un par muy malo.
 
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
I need to hand this in in an hour! Can someone just tell me if the grammar is ok or if something needs to change? Thank you so much!

La computadora y la soda hacen una combinación muy mala. Puesto que mi dormitorio es muy pequeño, miro la televisión en mi escritorio de la computadora. ¡Un día, mientras que la soda que bebía, la botella entera se derramó en mi escritorio de la computadora! Funcioné a mi cuarto de baño para una toalla pero me olvidé de desenchufar la computadora. El olor del plástico ardiente llenó el aire mientras que mi computadora se quemó lentamente del interior hacia fuera. Comencé a aterrarme. Rápidamente limpié todo limpio pero el fuego comenzado quemarse mi escritorio. Pronto, el circuito corto dio lugar a mi energía perdidosa de la casa. Afortunadamente, mi casa no se quemó. Tristemente, mi computadora, teclado, y altavoces todos se rompieron. Tan delicioso como es la soda de la dieta y tan útil como son las computadoras, hacen un par muy malo.

computer and soda make a really bad combination. Knowing that my bedroom is small, I wathc TV from my computer desk. One day, as I was drinking a soda, the bottle spilled on the computer desk! I went to my bathroom for a towel but I forgot to unplug the computer. The burning plastic smell filled up the air as my computer burned from inside out. I was depressed. Quickly, I cleaned everything but the fire started to burn my desk. Sadly, my computer, keyboard and speakers were ruined. As delicious as diet sodas are and as util as computers are, the make a really bad pair.


😉
 
Originally posted by: damiano
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
I need to hand this in in an hour! Can someone just tell me if the grammar is ok or if something needs to change? Thank you so much!

La computadora y la soda hacen una combinación muy mala. Puesto que mi dormitorio es muy pequeño, miro la televisión en mi escritorio de la computadora. ¡Un día, mientras que la soda que bebía, la botella entera se derramó en mi escritorio de la computadora! Funcioné a mi cuarto de baño para una toalla pero me olvidé de desenchufar la computadora. El olor del plástico ardiente llenó el aire mientras que mi computadora se quemó lentamente del interior hacia fuera. Comencé a aterrarme. Rápidamente limpié todo limpio pero el fuego comenzado quemarse mi escritorio. Pronto, el circuito corto dio lugar a mi energía perdidosa de la casa. Afortunadamente, mi casa no se quemó. Tristemente, mi computadora, teclado, y altavoces todos se rompieron. Tan delicioso como es la soda de la dieta y tan útil como son las computadoras, hacen un par muy malo.

computer and soda make a really bad combination. Knowing that my bedroom is small, I wathc TV from my computer desk. One day, as I was drinking a soda, the bottle spilled on the computer desk! I went to my bathroom for a towel but I forgot to unplug the computer. The burning plastic smell filled up the air as my computer burned from inside out. I was depressed. Quickly, I cleaned everything but the fire started to burn my desk. Sadly, my computer, keyboard and speakers were ruined. As delicious as diet sodas are and as util as computers are, the make a really bad pair.


😉

Sorry, you misunderstood me.. My assignment was to right a paragraph in spanish.. Was just wondering if I did a good job (is the grammar ok).. Thanks!
 
My spanish is quite rusty, but everything SEEMS to be ok. I'm not 100% sure though... it's been awhile since I took Spanish.
 
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: damiano
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
I need to hand this in in an hour! Can someone just tell me if the grammar is ok or if something needs to change? Thank you so much!

La computadora y la soda hacen una combinación muy mala. Puesto que mi dormitorio es muy pequeño, miro la televisión en mi escritorio de la computadora. ¡Un día, mientras que la soda que bebía, la botella entera se derramó en mi escritorio de la computadora! Funcioné a mi cuarto de baño para una toalla pero me olvidé de desenchufar la computadora. El olor del plástico ardiente llenó el aire mientras que mi computadora se quemó lentamente del interior hacia fuera. Comencé a aterrarme. Rápidamente limpié todo limpio pero el fuego comenzado quemarse mi escritorio. Pronto, el circuito corto dio lugar a mi energía perdidosa de la casa. Afortunadamente, mi casa no se quemó. Tristemente, mi computadora, teclado, y altavoces todos se rompieron. Tan delicioso como es la soda de la dieta y tan útil como son las computadoras, hacen un par muy malo.

computer and soda make a really bad combination. Knowing that my bedroom is small, I wathc TV from my computer desk. One day, as I was drinking a soda, the bottle spilled on the computer desk! I went to my bathroom for a towel but I forgot to unplug the computer. The burning plastic smell filled up the air as my computer burned from inside out. I was depressed. Quickly, I cleaned everything but the fire started to burn my desk. Sadly, my computer, keyboard and speakers were ruined. As delicious as diet sodas are and as util as computers are, the make a really bad pair.


😉

Sorry, you misunderstood me.. My assignment was to right a paragraph in spanish.. Was just wondering if I did a good job (is the grammar ok).. Thanks!

It's ok

a couple of things a awkward but it is way enaough for a spanish class.
can't believe I actually took the time to translate it 😛
oh well
I am a nice guy (who would have thought?)
 
I was always taught to put the pronoun infront of the verb, like "Yo soy", etc. Other than that, it looks fine to me.

<-Not an expert
 
can't believe I actually took the time to translate it 😛
oh well I am a nice guy (who would have thought?)

Babelfish's version:

The computer and the soda water make a combination very bad. Since my dormitory is very small, I watch the television in my writing-desk of the computer. A day, whereas the soda water that drank, the whole bottle was spilled in my writing-desk of the computer! I worked to my bathroom for a towel but I forgot to unplug the computer. The scent of the ardent plastic filled the air whereas my computer burned itself slowly of the interior towards outside. I began to terrify itself. Quickly I cleaned all the clean but begun fire to burn my writing-desk. Soon, the short circuit gave rise to my perdidosa energy of the house. Luckyly, my house was not burned. Sadly, my computer, keyboard, and loudspeakers all were broken. As delicious as it is the soda water of the as useful diet and as they are the computers, make a pair very bad.

I think your translation was better. 😀
 
Originally posted by: dman
can't believe I actually took the time to translate it 😛
oh well I am a nice guy (who would have thought?)

Babelfish's version:

The computer and the soda water make a combination very bad. Since my dormitory is very small, I watch the television in my writing-desk of the computer. A day, whereas the soda water that drank, the whole bottle was spilled in my writing-desk of the computer! I worked to my bathroom for a towel but I forgot to unplug the computer. The scent of the ardent plastic filled the air whereas my computer burned itself slowly of the interior towards outside. I began to terrify itself. Quickly I cleaned all the clean but begun fire to burn my writing-desk. Soon, the short circuit gave rise to my perdidosa energy of the house. Luckyly, my house was not burned. Sadly, my computer, keyboard, and loudspeakers all were broken. As delicious as it is the soda water of the as useful diet and as they are the computers, make a pair very bad.

I think your translation was better. 😀

Thanks

<--- Has family from Chile and actually speaks french and spanish better than english 😉
 
It looks OK but my spanish is also a little rusty around the edges.

Darn i used to be fluent but have had little use for it in the last few years 🙁
 
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