Originally posted by: Evadman
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
1. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."
2. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more."
3. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money more than Southwest Airlines."
4. A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas to Chicago and the son who had been looking out the window turned to his mother and said. "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats. Why don't big planes have little planes?" The mother who couldn't think of an answer told her son to ask the stewardess. So the little boy asked the stewardess the same question he asked his mother and the stewardess asked "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" He said that she had. With a clever grin, she said "Tell your mother, it's because Southwest Airlines always pulls out on time."
