Southern Jokes (and no, they're not about inbreds) EDIT: (well, okay, maybe)

MaxDepth

Diamond Member
Jun 12, 2001
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#1. Q: What is the difference between a Yankee and a Damn Yankee?
A: Damn Yankees stay.

#2. Q: The town of Cary, NC is not a real name but an acronym. What does it stand for?
A: Consolidated Area (of) Relocated Yankees.

#3. Q: [For the ladies] How does a Southern Lady hold her liquor?
A: By his ears. :Q

Thank you all, I'll be playing here this week! And goodnight!
 

Cyberian

Diamond Member
Jun 17, 2000
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Bubba and Bubba Jr. were driving down an Arkansas back road drinkin' some Budweisers when they spotted a Police roadblock ahead.
Bubba Jr says: 'Dad, are we gonna get caught drinking and driving agin?' Bubba pulls off the road and says: No, son. Finish your beer, peel off the label and stick it on your forehead, stash the bottle under the seat and I'll do the talkin'
They pull up to the roadblock and are stopped, the officer asks 'You boyz been drinkin?'
No, Bubba says, we're on the patch!
 

MaxDepth

Diamond Member
Jun 12, 2001
8,758
43
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A short lesson on Southernisms, part I

If you are from the northern states and planning on visiting or moving to
the South, there are a few things you should know that will help you adapt to the difference in lifestyles:

The North has sun-dried toe-mah-toes,
The South has 'mater samiches.

The North has coffee houses,
The South has Waffle Houses.

The North has switchblade knives,
The South has Lee Press on Nails.

The North has double last names,
The South has double first names.

The North has Ted Kennedy,
The South has Jesse Helms.

The North has an ambulance,
The South has an amalance.

The North has the Mafia,
The South has the Klan.

The North has Indy car races,
The South has stock car races.

The North has Cream of Wheat,
The South has grits.

The North has green salads,
The South has collard greens.

The North has lobsters,
The South has craw dads.

The North has the rust belt,
The South has the Bible Belt.