Some Southerners are pretty skeptical of
horoscopes and the people that
read them. If we are to ever fully understand
all the star signs and the
people they represent, we need symbols that all
true Southerners
understand:
OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20) Are tough on the
outside but tender on the inside.
Okras have tremendous influence. An older
Okra can look back over his
life
and see the seeds of his influence everywhere.
You can do something good
each day if you try.
CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19) Chitlins come from
humble backgrounds. A
Chitlin,
however, will make something of himself if he
is motivated and has lots of
seasoning. In dealing with Chitlins, be careful
they may surprise you.
They can erupt like Vesuvius. Chitlins are
best with Catfish and Okra.
BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 - March 20) You have an
overwhelming curiosity.
You're
unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you
feel the need to bore deep
into the interior of everything. Needless to
say, you are very intense and
driven as if you had some inner hunger. You
love to stay busy and tend to
work too much. Nobody in their right mind is
going to marry you, so don't
worry about it.
MOON PIE (March 21 - April 20) You're the
type that spends a lot of time
on
the front porch. A cinch to recognize the
physical appearance of Moon Pies.
Big and round are the key words here. You
should marry anybody who you
can
get remotely interested in the idea. It's not
going to be easy. You always
have a big smile and are happy. This might be
the year to think about
aerobics. Maybe not.
POSSUM (April 21 - May 21) When confronted
with life's difficulties,
possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and
develop a
don't-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes
you become so withdrawn,
people
actually think you're dead.
This strategy is probably not psychologically
healthy but seems to work
for
you. You are a rare breed. Most folks love to
watch you work and play. You
are a night person and mind your own business.
CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21) Crawfish is a
water sign. If you work in an
office, you're hanging around the water cooler.
Crawfish prefer the beach
to
the mountains, the pool to the golf course, and
the bathtub to the living
room. You tend not to be particularly
attractive physically, but you have
very, very good heads.
COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23) Collards have a
genius for communication.
They
love to get in "the melting pot" of life and
share their essence with the
essence of those around them. Collards make
good social workers,
psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as
your personal life goes, if
you are Collards, stay away from Crawfish. It
just won't work. Save
yourself
a lot of heartache.
CATFISH (July 24 - Aug 23) Catfish are
traditionalists in matters of the
heart, although one's whiskers may cause
problems for loved ones. You
Catfish are never easy people to understand.
You run fast. You work and
play
hard.
Even though you prefer the muddy bottoms to
the clear surface of life,
you
are liked by most. Above all else, Catfish
should stay away from Moon Pies.
GRITS (Aug 24 - Sept 23) Your highest aim is
to be with others like
yourself.
You like to huddle together with a big crowd
of other Grits. You love to
travel though, so maybe you should think about
joining a club. Where do you
like to go? Anywhere they have cheese, gravy,
bacon, butter, or eggs and a
good time. If you can go somewhere where they
have all these things, that
serves you well. You are pure in heart.
BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 - Oct 23) You have a
passionate desire to help
your
fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you
best, your friends and loved
ones, may find that your personality is much
too salty, and their criticism
will affect you deeply because you are really
much softer than you appear.
You should go right ahead and marry anybody you
want to because in a
certain
way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of
life, you can be sure that
people will always pull over and stop for you.
BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 - Nov 22) Always invite a
Butter Bean to a party
because Butter Beans get along well with
everybody. You, as a Butter Bean,
should be proud. You've grown on the vine of
life, and you feel at home no
matter what the setting. You can sit next to
anybody. However, you, too
shouldn't have anything to do with Moon Pies.
ARMADILLO (Nov 23 - Dec 21) You have a
tendency to develop a tough
exterior, but you are actually quite gentle and
kind inside. A good evening
for you?
Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit,
worms, and insects. You are a
throwback.
You're not concerned with today's fashions
and trends. You're not
concerned
with anything about today. You're almost
prehistoric in your interests and
behavior patterns.
You probably want to marry another Armadillo,
but a Possum is another
somewhat kinky mating possibility
horoscopes and the people that
read them. If we are to ever fully understand
all the star signs and the
people they represent, we need symbols that all
true Southerners
understand:
OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20) Are tough on the
outside but tender on the inside.
Okras have tremendous influence. An older
Okra can look back over his
life
and see the seeds of his influence everywhere.
You can do something good
each day if you try.
CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19) Chitlins come from
humble backgrounds. A
Chitlin,
however, will make something of himself if he
is motivated and has lots of
seasoning. In dealing with Chitlins, be careful
they may surprise you.
They can erupt like Vesuvius. Chitlins are
best with Catfish and Okra.
BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 - March 20) You have an
overwhelming curiosity.
You're
unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you
feel the need to bore deep
into the interior of everything. Needless to
say, you are very intense and
driven as if you had some inner hunger. You
love to stay busy and tend to
work too much. Nobody in their right mind is
going to marry you, so don't
worry about it.
MOON PIE (March 21 - April 20) You're the
type that spends a lot of time
on
the front porch. A cinch to recognize the
physical appearance of Moon Pies.
Big and round are the key words here. You
should marry anybody who you
can
get remotely interested in the idea. It's not
going to be easy. You always
have a big smile and are happy. This might be
the year to think about
aerobics. Maybe not.
POSSUM (April 21 - May 21) When confronted
with life's difficulties,
possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and
develop a
don't-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes
you become so withdrawn,
people
actually think you're dead.
This strategy is probably not psychologically
healthy but seems to work
for
you. You are a rare breed. Most folks love to
watch you work and play. You
are a night person and mind your own business.
CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21) Crawfish is a
water sign. If you work in an
office, you're hanging around the water cooler.
Crawfish prefer the beach
to
the mountains, the pool to the golf course, and
the bathtub to the living
room. You tend not to be particularly
attractive physically, but you have
very, very good heads.
COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23) Collards have a
genius for communication.
They
love to get in "the melting pot" of life and
share their essence with the
essence of those around them. Collards make
good social workers,
psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as
your personal life goes, if
you are Collards, stay away from Crawfish. It
just won't work. Save
yourself
a lot of heartache.
CATFISH (July 24 - Aug 23) Catfish are
traditionalists in matters of the
heart, although one's whiskers may cause
problems for loved ones. You
Catfish are never easy people to understand.
You run fast. You work and
play
hard.
Even though you prefer the muddy bottoms to
the clear surface of life,
you
are liked by most. Above all else, Catfish
should stay away from Moon Pies.
GRITS (Aug 24 - Sept 23) Your highest aim is
to be with others like
yourself.
You like to huddle together with a big crowd
of other Grits. You love to
travel though, so maybe you should think about
joining a club. Where do you
like to go? Anywhere they have cheese, gravy,
bacon, butter, or eggs and a
good time. If you can go somewhere where they
have all these things, that
serves you well. You are pure in heart.
BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 - Oct 23) You have a
passionate desire to help
your
fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you
best, your friends and loved
ones, may find that your personality is much
too salty, and their criticism
will affect you deeply because you are really
much softer than you appear.
You should go right ahead and marry anybody you
want to because in a
certain
way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of
life, you can be sure that
people will always pull over and stop for you.
BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 - Nov 22) Always invite a
Butter Bean to a party
because Butter Beans get along well with
everybody. You, as a Butter Bean,
should be proud. You've grown on the vine of
life, and you feel at home no
matter what the setting. You can sit next to
anybody. However, you, too
shouldn't have anything to do with Moon Pies.
ARMADILLO (Nov 23 - Dec 21) You have a
tendency to develop a tough
exterior, but you are actually quite gentle and
kind inside. A good evening
for you?
Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit,
worms, and insects. You are a
throwback.
You're not concerned with today's fashions
and trends. You're not
concerned
with anything about today. You're almost
prehistoric in your interests and
behavior patterns.
You probably want to marry another Armadillo,
but a Possum is another
somewhat kinky mating possibility
