South Park quotes

[Deeko]

We've had our share of Simpson's Quotes threads, I was watching an episode of South Park today and it had the funniest sequence EVER. I may have to put my Simpson's Quote of the Day on hold for a day for this one. Its kinda long though....just watch the clip

Chef's Parents and the lock-ness monster

edit: fixed the clip, it works now

 

[ohtwell]

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: ) Amanda

 

[ggavinmoss]

Cartman: "Y'shouldn't've done that... he's just a boy..."

-geoff

 

[Evadman]

"Why has everything today involved things either coming in or going out of my ass!"
-- Cartman

 

[gopunk]

Scott Tenorman: Alright, guess we should taste each other's chili, huh?
Cartman: Huh, this chili is pretty good. Here's mine.
Scott Tenorman: Umm, I don't know, your chili is good Cartman. But I think mine is better, try it.
Cartman: Alright. Hey this is great.
Scott Tenorman: It's a special recipe.
Cartman: Gosh, this is really good, Scott.
Scott Tenorman: I'm glad you liked it so much, because now that you're almost finished, I have something to tell you.
Cartman: What? You mean how you put pubes in your chili, Scott? I switched it with Chef's. It's delicious Chef. I hadn't planned on that. What I did plan on however, that my friends Stan and Kyle would betray me and warn you that the Chili Con Carnival was a trap. I assumed that they would tell you that I had trained Dinkin's pony to bite off your wiener. What they didn't tell you is that Dinkins is a crazy redneck who shoots trespassers on sight. Knowing that you would go and try to do something to the pony, I warned Mr. Dinkins that violent pony killers were in the area. I also knew you wouldn't go yourself for fear of having your wiener bitten off. You would most likely send your parents and I'm afraid when Mr. Dinkins spotted them on his property, he shot and killed both your parents.
Dinkins: Well, they were trespassing and I was protecting myself. I have my rights.
Scott Tenorman: My mom and dad are dead?
Cartman: I came just in time to see Mr. Dinkins giving his report to Mr. Barbrady, and of course to steal the bodies. After a night with the hacksaw, I was all ready to put on my Chili Con Carnival so that I can tell you personally about your parents demise. And of course, feed you your chili. Do you like it? Do you like it Scott? I call it Mr. and Mrs. Tenorman chili.
Scott Tenorman: Oh my God. Oh my God.
Cartman: Na, na, na, na, na. I made you eat your parents. Na, na, na, na, na.
Stan: Jesus Christ, dude.
Scott Tenorman: My mom and dad are dead now?
Cartman: Yeah, yeah, oh let me taste your tears Scott. Ummm, your tears are so yummy and sweet.
Kyle: Dude, think it might be best for us not to ever piss Cartman off again.
Stan: Good call.
Cartman: Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness. Yummy, yummy guys.

 

[Wallydraigle]

Phase One: Collect underpants
Phase Two: ?
Phase Three: Profit!

By the way, I have all the South Park DVDs that were released on this side of the pond.

 

[ohtwell]

Originally posted by: gopunk
Scott Tenorman: Alright, guess we should taste each other's chili, huh?
Cartman: Huh, this chili is pretty good. Here's mine.
Scott Tenorman: Umm, I don't know, your chili is good Cartman. But I think mine is better, try it.
Cartman: Alright. Hey this is great.
Scott Tenorman: It's a special recipe.
Cartman: Gosh, this is really good, Scott.
Scott Tenorman: I'm glad you liked it so much, because now that you're almost finished, I have something to tell you.
Cartman: What? You mean how you put pubes in your chili, Scott? I switched it with Chef's. It's delicious Chef. I hadn't planned on that. What I did plan on however, that my friends Stan and Kyle would betray me and warn you that the Chili Con Carnival was a trap. I assumed that they would tell you that I had trained Dinkin's pony to bite off your wiener. What they didn't tell you is that Dinkins is a crazy redneck who shoots trespassers on sight. Knowing that you would go and try to do something to the pony, I warned Mr. Dinkins that violent pony killers were in the area. I also knew you wouldn't go yourself for fear of having your wiener bitten off. You would most likely send your parents and I'm afraid when Mr. Dinkins spotted them on his property, he shot and killed both your parents.
Dinkins: Well, they were trespassing and I was protecting myself. I have my rights.
Scott Tenorman: My mom and dad are dead?
Cartman: I came just in time to see Mr. Dinkins giving his report to Mr. Barbrady, and of course to steal the bodies. After a night with the hacksaw, I was all ready to put on my Chili Con Carnival so that I can tell you personally about your parents demise. And of course, feed you your chili. Do you like it? Do you like it Scott? I call it Mr. and Mrs. Tenorman chili.
Scott Tenorman: Oh my God. Oh my God.
Cartman: Na, na, na, na, na. I made you eat your parents. Na, na, na, na, na.
Stan: Jesus Christ, dude.
Scott Tenorman: My mom and dad are dead now?
Cartman: Yeah, yeah, oh let me taste your tears Scott. Ummm, your tears are so yummy and sweet.
Kyle: Dude, think it might be best for us not to ever piss Cartman off again.
Stan: Good call.
Cartman: Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness. Yummy, yummy guys.

That is one of the best episodes of South Park. Cartman is evil.


: ) Amanda

 

[klah]

Simpsons did it!!

 

[Hayabusa Rider]

Gotta say the Simpsons bore me, but I find South Park quite funny

 

[Wallydraigle]

"Time to go to work!
Work all night!
Search for underpants, hey!

We won't stop till we have underpants
Yum tum yummy tum tay!"

 

[BD231]

Cartman Dressed as a skank on some talk show: "Psh, nuh-uh, what-eVa, I do what I want"

 

[Hamburgerpimp]

"Kyles Mom's a Bitch"

Song by Cartman

 

[Nohr]

These jaguars can be real mean. I'm gonna have to smack it in the face.

I'm gonna jam my thumb in its butthole now, this should really piss it off.

 

[MrDingleDangle]

these probably arent exact, but close

"You dont even know the difference between a dolphin and a pop-tart"
cartman- "sure i do, pop-tarts are frosted!"

Cartman-"see you shouldn't have written about something so stupid"
"Cartman, dolphins are like the 2nd most intelligent animal"
Cartman- "well if they are so smart why do they get caught in those fishing nets all the time!"

"dolphins are smart and intelligent"
cartman-"yeah...smart and intelligent on rye bread with some mayonnaise"

Cartman-"I HATE RAINBOWS"
"nobody hates rainbows, why do u hate rainbows"
cartman- "well u know, how they crawl up the back of your leg and start biting the inside of your ass"

 

[arod]

I love South Park, I have every single episode on my computer.... It make for great lunch entertainment.

 

[freakflag]

"Nobody is putting anything up Fluffy's ass !!!"

 

[BDawg]

Originally posted by: ohtwell
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: ) Amanda

Garrison stole that from the movie In the Company of Men.

 

[ViperXX]

"Damn Loc Nes monster wants tree fifty"

"Damn Loc Ness monster came to the door and wanted tree fifty, I says I an't going give you tree fifty"

"So he says ok give me two fifty"

"So I says I wouldn't even give you tree fifty why would I give you two fifty"

"I gave him a dollar"

"You gave him a dollar?"

"damn woman why'd you give him a dollar?"

 

[AnyMal]

well screw you guys, i am going home!

kyle's cousin kyle: i am having hard time concentrating!
cartman: oh yes? maybe we should send you to the concentration camp!

 

[Deeko]

Originally posted by: ViperXX
"Damn Loc Nes monster wants tree fifty"

"Damn Loc Ness monster came to the door and wanted tree fifty, I says I an't going give you tree fifty"

"So he says ok give me two fifty"

"So I says I wouldn't even give you tree fifty why would I give you two fifty"

"I gave him a dollar"

"You gave him a dollar?"

"damn woman why'd you give him a dollar?"

lol thats the one i have linked. goes more like this:

"We were out on the boat, and suddenly this giant crustation from the paleontific period leaped up. "
"It was so scary"
"I shouted what do you want monster?"
"he leaned over and said....i need about tree-fitty. i said i aint givin you no tree fitty! get your own god dammed money!"
"i gave gim a dollar."
"she gave him a dollar!"
"i thought hed go away if i gave gim a dollar"
"he wont go away if you give him a dollar, hell know you have more"
*later*
"and then one day this cute little girl scout came to the door."
"oh she was so adorable with the little pigtails and all"
"she asked if id like some cookies, i said well what do you have? she had thin mints, graham crunchy things"
"oatmeal raison"
"oatmeal raison...i said ill take a graham crunch. how much do i owe you? she said i need about tree fitty....well its about that time i realized that this girl scout was over 8 stories tall and was a crustation from the paliozoic, i said get off my lawn you god dammed lock ness monster! he said how bout 2 fitty then? i said oh 2 fitty now? what you need that for? lock ness munchies?"
"he was so angry"
"damn right i was angry"
"not you, the monster, he was about to kick your ass"
"shut up woman"

 

[Deeko]

hmm..i just realized now that my clip at the top is the most horribly encoded thing ive ever seen. let me fix that up for ya.

 

[ViperXX]

Deeko
I love that episode.

I was trying to quote it by memory.

My wife works at a bank and I always call and ask her with Cheif's dads voice

"I need tree fifty"

"you got tree fifty"?

LOL