Something that might offend someone but I'm having no luck so far. Update: Added something offensive.

[MercenaryForHire]

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire

Originally posted by: Electric Amish
You can't try to offend people without this one:


Jesus walks into a hotel with a cross and some spikes and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"


amish

Keep trying.

- M4H

Ok...

A guy and a girl are lying in bed after having sex.
The girl turns to the guy and says, "I think you're a pedophile."
The guy looks at the girl and says, "My, that's an awfully big word for an 8-year-old."


amish

Old.

What's worse than ten dead babies in a bag?
One dead baby in ten bags.

What's brown and red and goes 50mph?
Siamese cat in a blender.

How do you make a cat go "woof"?
Douse it in lighter fluid and toss a match on its back.

:Q

- M4H

 

[Electric Amish]

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire

Originally posted by: Electric Amish
You can't try to offend people without this one:


Jesus walks into a hotel with a cross and some spikes and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"


amish

Keep trying.

- M4H

Ok...

A guy and a girl are lying in bed after having sex.
The girl turns to the guy and says, "I think you're a pedophile."
The guy looks at the girl and says, "My, that's an awfully big word for an 8-year-old."


amish

Old.

What's worse than ten dead babies in a bag?
One dead baby in ten bags.

What's brown and red and goes 50mph?
Siamese cat in a blender.

How do you make a cat go "woof"?
Douse it in lighter fluid and toss a match on its back.

:Q

- M4H

Now those are old!

amish

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire

Originally posted by: Electric Amish
You can't try to offend people without this one:


Jesus walks into a hotel with a cross and some spikes and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"


amish

Keep trying.

- M4H

Ok...

A guy and a girl are lying in bed after having sex.
The girl turns to the guy and says, "I think you're a pedophile."
The guy looks at the girl and says, "My, that's an awfully big word for an 8-year-old."


amish

Old.

What's worse than ten dead babies in a bag?
One dead baby in ten bags.

What's brown and red and goes 50mph?
Siamese cat in a blender.

How do you make a cat go "woof"?
Douse it in lighter fluid and toss a match on its back.

:Q

- M4H

Now those are old!

amish

Still offensive.

What's the worst part about having sex with an 8-year old?
Getting the bloodstains out of your clown suit.

- M4H

 

[crisp82]

What have fat birds and mopeds got in common?

They're both good for a ride until your mates find out!

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Originally posted by: crisp82
What have fat birds and mopeds got in common?

They're both good for a ride until your mates find out!

Too much humour, not enough "offensive"

- M4H

 

[ElFenix]

 

[bGIveNs33]

Those are alright... I would put some real offensive stuff down but I don't feel like getting banned.

 

[amnesiac]

Man, I got a really good one but I KNOW I'd risk a ban for it.

If you want to hear the most offensive joke ever, PM me.

 

[LeeTJ]

the only offensive jokes are BLACK jokes. cause they can't take it like the rest of us.

 

[Yossarian]

Originally posted by: DaveSohmer
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
half-mast?
They're hiring.

HAHAHAHAHA

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Originally posted by: LeeTJ
the only offensive jokes are BLACK jokes. cause they can't take it like the rest of us.

Right, and I'm sure they'll let us post those here.

- M4H

 

[dquan97]

Originally posted by: DaveSohmer

Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.

Ooo, that's low...

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Originally posted by: dquan97

Originally posted by: DaveSohmer

Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.

Ooo, that's low...

Yes, it is low.

- M4H

 

[BigPoppa]

*Disclaimer: May need to do Hail Mary's after hearing this*













Why do all women love Jesus? *spreads arms apart* He's hung like this!

 

[Fausto]

UPDATE
Fausto insisted PUMA (Possibly the Ugliest Man Alive)

(Note to those not offended by Dave's self-portrait: PM me and I'll send you some photos of me in my spandex cycling outfit. If that doesn't offend you, I don't know what will. )

 

[UNCjigga]

Originally posted by: BigPoppa
*Disclaimer: May need to do Hail Mary's after hearing this*













Why do all women love Jesus? *spreads arms apart* He's hung like this!

BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHA!!!!! *WARNING* HEART-ATTACK INDUCING LAUGHTER!!! GOD IS TRYING TO KILL ME FOR READING THAT!!!

 

[LeeTJ]

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire

Originally posted by: LeeTJ
the only offensive jokes are BLACK jokes. cause they can't take it like the rest of us.

Right, and I'm sure they'll let us post those here.

- M4H

yup

that's kinda my point right?

 

[UltraQuiet]

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?
One less drunk. :beer:

 

[diamondgoat53]

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire

Originally posted by: Electric Amish
You can't try to offend people without this one:


Jesus walks into a hotel with a cross and some spikes and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"


amish

Keep trying.

- M4H

Ok...

A guy and a girl are lying in bed after having sex.
The girl turns to the guy and says, "I think you're a pedophile."
The guy looks at the girl and says, "My, that's an awfully big word for an 8-year-old."


amish

Old.

What's worse than ten dead babies in a bag?
One dead baby in ten bags.

What's brown and red and goes 50mph?
Siamese cat in a blender.

How do you make a cat go "woof"?
Douse it in lighter fluid and toss a match on its back.

:Q

- M4H

Now those are old!

amish

Still offensive.

What's the worst part about having sex with an 8-year old?
Getting the bloodstains out of your clown suit.

- M4H

worse yet....

how do you make a 5 year old cry twice?

wipe your bloody d**k on her favorite teddy bear.






what's the best thing about sleeping with a 7 year old girl?

if you get bored you flip her over and pretend she's a 7 year old boy.





why didn't superman save those kids in Columbine?

because he's in a wheelchair, stupid.




what's the best thing about a hand job ny a 4 year old?

your d**k looks so big in her little hand.

 

[diamondgoat53]

more


what's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?

you can screw a dead baby.



what's the diff between a bowling ball and Rosie O'Donnell?

if you had to, i mean absolutely had to, you could eat a bowling ball.

 

[Kev]

wow this thread is insane....so funny...

how many babies does it take to paint a fence?
- depends on how hard you throw them

what's the difference between a cadillac and a pile of dead babies?
- i don't have a cadillac in my garage.

 

[bGIveNs33]

***** Disclaimer.... pretty fscked up jokes.... *********


Lady has a baby and right when the doctor is about to spank it.... he picks up a scalpal(sp?) and starts to "st-ab" it. He is st-abbing it over and over then.. he slams it up against the wall. He then proceeds to spike it and and stomp all over it. The doctor then looks and the mother and she is in disbelief.... he says... "I'm just kidding with you, it was already dead".

What is black, white, red and can't fit throw a revolving door?

A nun with a spear through it's head.

How do you fit a baby into tuper-ware?

A blender

How do you get it out?

Tostitos.

What is black, blue and orange and at the bottom of my pool?

A baby with slashed swimmies.


I still have one more absolutely god-awful joke I'm debating on putting up.

 

[SaltBoy]

n/m repost. Skoorb effect.

 

[Turkey22]

incredibly not offensive, gotta step it up, something lock-worthy

oops posted before I got to diamond goat, now that is some good stuff