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Something I never thought I would have to do as a manager

Exterous

Super Moderator
Super Moderator
Jun 20, 2006
17,458
42
126
#1
My team is generally fairly young so imagine my shock when I found out one of my employees passed away at 27. I know she had been very recently diagnosed with cancer but it was supposedly operable with a high chance of full recovery (although a 1-2 month recovery time). The last day I talked with her was the day before she was scheduled to have surgery. Two weeks later HR contacted me and said she wouldn't be coming back to work. I reached out to her just to tell her that the team was hoping that everything was going as well as it could and was thinking about her (making it clear she didn't have to tell me any details). Her husband wrote back about her condition. I guess the cancer had spread to her brain and she was having strokes and seizures. The following day he wrote me to tell me she passed away. :cry:

They had been married for 3 months and had been trying to start their family. Crazy. So I had to tell the team and then the company. That company wide email took a loooong time to write. Her and I had shared a cube wall for a while so the whole situation has been tough (admittedly not as tough as for her husband though). Her funeral is this weekend so I'll be bringing the card and office donations and flowers to her husband. Will probably need to find another time to bring the personal items in her cube to him. Ugh.
 

kt

Diamond Member
Apr 1, 2000
5,052
0
81
#2
Wow, that's crazy.
 
May 28, 2007
14,292
29
126
#3
My team is generally fairly young so imagine my shock when I found out one of my employees passed away at 27. I know she had been very recently diagnosed with cancer but it was supposedly operable with a high chance of full recovery (although a 1-2 month recovery time). The last day I talked with her was the day before she was scheduled to have surgery. Two weeks later HR contacted me and said she wouldn't be coming back to work. I reached out to her just to tell her that the team was hoping that everything was going as well as it could and was thinking about her (making it clear she didn't have to tell me any details). Her husband wrote back about her condition. I guess the cancer had spread to her brain and she was having strokes and seizures. The following day he wrote me to tell me she passed away. :cry:

They had been married for 3 months and had been trying to start their family. Crazy. So I had to tell the team and then the company. That company wide email took a loooong time to write. Her and I had shared a cube wall for a while so the whole situation has been tough (admittedly not as tough as for her husband though). Her funeral is this weekend so I'll be bringing the card and office donations and flowers to her husband. Will probably need to find another time to bring the personal items in her cube to him. Ugh.
Wow, sorry.

Shortly after I became a manager someone on my team almost died. It was very sudden, out of nowhere. She was in the hospital for about a week, but then she made a full recovery. It was scary as hell. I still don't know exactly what happened, because I was like you in not pressing for any details, just staying in touch to wish her well, etc.

There was a guy on my floor (it's a big floor with a couple hundred people) that had a history of seizures. About two years ago he had one in the office and stopped breathing. For some reason the EMS didn't know where to go, and they didn't get to him for 10 minutes. He never regained consciousness and died a few days later. It was a real shock.
 
Feb 13, 2003
24,993
15
106
#4
Wow that is sad. :-( Poor husband and parents.

I actually had a co-worker pass away about a year ago. He was at his daughter's house and I guess starting not feeling well, had a glass of water and couldn't even hold/drink it properly. An ambulance was called for him and he ended up having a stroke. He was in the hospital and slowly got better and even went home for a short period of time during the holidays, but I believe he had another stroke(s) and was re-admitted and never regained conciousness. His wife eventually made the decision to take him off life support. He wasn't old either, like in his mid-40s I'd say. I guess he was on a lot of medication, and I don't know his medical history or details beyond this, but it was still a shock.

I also had a friend who I graduated high school with, and was my first girlfriend (kinda), pass away at like 31. She was in a yoga class and had some sort of aneurysm. Just out of the blue. I still think about her every so often and miss her so much. :cryingcat:
 
Oct 12, 2009
35,852
126
136
#5
Dang. No guarantees.

My nephew is in icu now. Was having problems with his leg. Turns out it was a blood clot. My limited 3rd hand knowledge is that it traveled to his heart and is somehow blocking blood flow to his lungs (?). He's having a hard time breathing. Got the details from my Mother so there's no telling what the actual facts are. Anyway, lots of heparin ATM and he's doing better.
 
Jul 12, 2006
91,666
309
136
#6
damn that's just awful. I hate cancer with the raging intensity of 10,000 suns.
 

thestrangebrew1

Platinum Member
Dec 7, 2011
2,545
2
91
#7
That sucks. Sorry to hear that. You may not have known her well, but it still sucks :confused:

We've got a contractor we work with regularly and found out he had a heart attack last week. He's been in and out of surgery, and in a coma as we speak. I guess he had a quintuple bypass, which I'd never heard of. His son, who we also work with, though not as regularly told us that his kidneys are now failing and the docs aren't sure if he'll pull out of it. We got some donations from the office and one of my co-workers happened to be going to the city where his hospital is located so she dropped the stuff off. It's crappy. Can't imagine what the husband is going through right now...
 
Nov 4, 2004
22,716
117
126
#8
Wow, that's tough man, so young....
 

Mai72

Diamond Member
Sep 12, 2012
8,301
12
126
#10
Life is short.

No guarantees that anyone of us will live to 80. Yet, we treat life like we have all the time in the world. That we are going to live forever. What a shame that she died so young.
 

Zeze

Diamond Member
Mar 4, 2011
9,704
5
126
#11
Oh my god. FVCK cancer.
 

lxskllr

No Lifer
Nov 30, 2004
51,035
104
126
#12
Friend of mine's son got married a few years ago, and his wife got colon cancer, and was dead within a year. She was about 34 I think.
 

Kaido

Elite Member & Kitchen Overlord
Feb 14, 2004
42,129
33
126
#13
Man, that's tough, sorry to hear that :(

You never know how or when you're going to check out. My friend just passed away a couple months ago from that they are generically calling 'sudden adult death syndrome', aka you die for no reason. No cause of death identified....kind of like SIDS in infants, but in adults. I mean, I knew you could die from something like an aneurysm unexpectedly, but I thought we had a pretty good handle on explaining why you died. But they have no clue...he got up to walk to the bathroom & just dropped dead on the way. I had no idea you could just die for no reason. I mean, I guess I did, I just had never really thought about it. His toxicology came back clean, bloodwork, etc. Great health, just had a physical done, mid 30's, everything going for him. Insane. You just never know...
 

Exterous

Super Moderator
Super Moderator
Jun 20, 2006
17,458
42
126
#15
I started boxing her stuff up today :( but I need to have facilities unlock one of her desk drawers for me
 

FirNaTine

Senior member
Jun 6, 2005
317
5
81
#16
Dang. No guarantees.

My nephew is in icu now. Was having problems with his leg. Turns out it was a blood clot. My limited 3rd hand knowledge is that it traveled to his heart and is somehow blocking blood flow to his lungs (?). He's having a hard time breathing. Got the details from my Mother so there's no telling what the actual facts are. Anyway, lots of heparin ATM and he's doing better.
You're describing a classic pulmonary embolism (PE) after a deep vein thrombosis (DVT). Basically a clot formed in his leg and was causing circulation problem in his leg. (While arteries supply tissues, if you block the return pathway, the veins, it causes a back up and usually swelling/color change/even cooler skin).

If that's identified while in place it's relatively treatable. But, if that breaks free, the veins increase in size the whole way into the vena cava (the main return line to the heart). From there blood enters the heart to be pumped into the lungs via pulmonary arteries that shrink back down in size and spread into the lungs where they exchange CO2 for oxygen.

Depending on the size of the clot (where it'll end up being stuck based on shape/size) , a significant portion of the lung is basically unable to exchange gases, causing a perceived trouble breathing (they can actually get air in and out fine, but there's still an air hunger).

But, there's a second major whammy in store, because the circulatory system is basically two loops that feed each other (one to the body tissues, then a second to lungs and back) a blockage going to the lungs, also means restrictions of flow back to the heart to supply the body.

That can be just as deadly, and I've seen folks literally drop in front of me because of it, though I got at least one confirmed save in a case like that.

If any of that doesn't make sense, let me know.

Hopefully he pulls through fine!
 

FirNaTine

Senior member
Jun 6, 2005
317
5
81
#17
And Exterous, sorry to hear. Cancer sucks, and I've lost way too many friends and close family to it.

Take care of yourself and your team, you'll have many up and down days ahead. Be there for each other when it gets to you.
 
Oct 12, 2009
35,852
126
136
#18
You're describing a classic pulmonary embolism (PE) after a deep vein thrombosis (DVT). Basically a clot formed in his leg and was causing circulation problem in his leg. (While arteries supply tissues, if you block the return pathway, the veins, it causes a back up and usually swelling/color change/even cooler skin).

If that's identified while in place it's relatively treatable. But, if that breaks free, the veins increase in size the whole way into the vena cava (the main return line to the heart). From there blood enters the heart to be pumped into the lungs via pulmonary arteries that shrink back down in size and spread into the lungs where they exchange CO2 for oxygen.

Depending on the size of the clot (where it'll end up being stuck based on shape/size) , a significant portion of the lung is basically unable to exchange gases, causing a perceived trouble breathing (they can actually get air in and out fine, but there's still an air hunger).

But, there's a second major whammy in store, because the circulatory system is basically two loops that feed each other (one to the body tissues, then a second to lungs and back) a blockage going to the lungs, also means restrictions of flow back to the heart to supply the body.

That can be just as deadly, and I've seen folks literally drop in front of me because of it, though I got at least one confirmed save in a case like that.

If any of that doesn't make sense, let me know.

Hopefully he pulls through fine!
He's still in. 2 more clots in his legs this AM and still on O2. Mom says the Dr's are "baffled"....that can't be a good thing.

Thanks.
 

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