Some thoughts on life, the universe and everything

[Alphathree33]

Lately, I've been in search of that elusive thing called happiness.

I'm still young by most counts (24), but I'm old enough to be planning my life. I've gone through several phases in my life to-date:

The "maximum fun" phase. This served me well through my childhood. I lived my life to maximize the amount of "fun" I had from moment to moment and I gave little thought to the future. Then I got to high school and I entered...

The "academic" phase. Get the best grades. "Know" everything. Be a nerd. Play video games and Magic(TM) cards. This served me well through high school. Then I got to university, when I entered...

The "girlfriend" phase. To hell with grades, sex is fun. Spend lots of time with the girlfriend. Have sex. Buy ****** for her. Until she dumped me two years later, and I entered...

The "party dude" phase. To hell with girlfriends and academics. Learn how to drink beer, hip-hop dance, and pick up random stupid chicks. Until I realized that this is a completely fulfilling life. Which led me to...

The "renaissance man" phase. Back in a steady relationship, but no longer focused on the girl. Now I want to develop lots of skills: athletic skills (skiing, swimming), creative skills (piano, dancing), and 'classic' intellectual knowledge (language, culture, art).

I have a feeling this latest phase will take me a good 5 or 10 years. There's a lot to be done.

I don't want to judge, but I see a lot of people who stagnate after 25 or 30. They do the same job (and they do the same wife ) day-in, day-out. I never want to be that person.

I guess for me, happiness comes from improvement and change. I could never be happy if I stagnated.

Then again, improvement and change is so stressful (it constantly pushes the boundaries of my comfort zone) that it is not always fun.

I realize this post is a bit of a philosophical ramble. What are your thoughts on what I've said and how does it relate to your life?

 

[TeeJay1952]

I am 54 and the changes never stop.
Hopefully experience and time make you see things in a different way at the various stages of your life.
It is not a bad thing, it is just one of those things....

 

[blackdogdeek]

my current phase is:

make sure my family is safe and happy.

this phase will last the rest of my life.

 

[Pepsi90919]

42

 

[Juddog]

Wait till you hit the family stage, if you ever do. Oh boy.

 

[nakedfrog]

Originally posted by: Alphathree33
I don't want to judge, but I see a lot of people who stagnate after 25 or 30. They do the same job (and they do the same wife ) day-in, day-out. I never want to be that person.

Right now, you never want to be that person
You may feel differently in ten years.
Doing the same job day-in, day-out isn't bad if it's a job you enjoy
Ditto for the wife

 

[SonnyDaze]

Originally posted by: Alphathree33
Now I want to develop lots of skills: athletic skills (skiing, swimming), creative skills (piano, dancing), and 'classic' intellectual knowledge (language, culture, art).

<Napoleon Dynamite> You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. <Napoleon Dynamite>

 

[Wapp]

Originally posted by: nakedfrog

Originally posted by: Alphathree33
I don't want to judge, but I see a lot of people who stagnate after 25 or 30. They do the same job (and they do the same wife ) day-in, day-out. I never want to be that person.

Right now, you never want to be that person
You may feel differently in ten years.
Doing the same job day-in, day-out isn't bad if it's a job you enjoy
Ditto for the wife

Pics or Ban?

 

[blackdogdeek]

Originally posted by: nakedfrog

Originally posted by: Alphathree33
I don't want to judge, but I see a lot of people who stagnate after 25 or 30. They do the same job (and they do the same wife ) day-in, day-out. I never want to be that person.

Right now, you never want to be that person
You may feel differently in ten years.
Doing the same job day-in, day-out isn't bad if it's a job you enjoy
Ditto for the wife

even if you don't enjoy your job, it is only a source of income, it shouldn't be your life.

 

[brandonb]

At some point you will want to recreate that fun in a child doing it vicariously through them. I know I have. I have more fun watching a child enjoy life than it does for me to do the same actions for myself. I find myself going around the block on a bike, not because I enjoy it, but because a little boy 3 years old enjoys it so much more than I could ever in my old age. Seeing their smile is worth more to me.

So to me, the "family man" stage which is after "renaissance man" is much more rewarding.

 

[irishScott]

Lol I can relate. I'm 19 right now.

Pretty much the same system cept that my parents are very antisocial/insecure, and that transferred over to me. So I kinda went through an emo/nerd/stupid phase in HS. This killed me so bad socially that I didn't even go to Senior prom . Well, I broke out of that last summer, got in shape, learned what I had been too lazy to learn in HS, went to parties and became truly social for the 1st time in my life in college. Am now kinda entering a "frustrated renaissance man and girlfriend" stage, where I want to learn a whole bunch of skills but don't have the time due to classes/GF.

I'm with you on the stagnation though. I'd rather have a stressful but satisfying existance than a secure but boring one.

 

[Special K]

Originally posted by: blackdogdeek

Originally posted by: nakedfrog

Originally posted by: Alphathree33
I don't want to judge, but I see a lot of people who stagnate after 25 or 30. They do the same job (and they do the same wife ) day-in, day-out. I never want to be that person.

Right now, you never want to be that person
You may feel differently in ten years.
Doing the same job day-in, day-out isn't bad if it's a job you enjoy
Ditto for the wife

even if you don't enjoy your job, it is only a source of income, it shouldn't be your life.

Considering the average person will spend 8+ hours/day working, I will be incredibly disappointed if I don't end up liking my job at least as much as a good hobby (still in school btw).

 

[Zysoclaplem]

I'm in the "I know I am going the wrong way in life, but I am too scared and worried about hurting myself and other people by changing" stage.
It has nothing to do with the universe, or everything in general. I know what seems right. But looks can be deceiving and I would hate to regret yet another poorly made choice.

 

[Lola]

I can understand where you are coming from...
Embrace each of your life phases and learn from it.

PS, there is nothing wrong with having the same wife. Use that time to grow together in your likes and experiences!

Personally, i am confused with my current phase.

 

[cchase88]

Right now I'm debating over whether going to college is really worth it. I'm majoring in CS (computers have always been my hobby growing up), but would really like to travel. IMHO I don't see the point in working for most of my life. If I had the guts I would sell everything I had and just travel.

 

[amish]

Originally posted by: Alphathree33

I don't want to judge, but I see a lot of people who stagnate after 25 or 30. They do the same job (and they do the same wife ) day-in, day-out. I never want to be that person.

that is my phase right now. i'm 26, i've had a steady career for 3 years, bought a house, bought a car, got married. now there isn't much left for me to do and i'm slowly going insane from the monotony. i need excitement. i want to have adrenaline pumping through me again. anybody know how much skydiving costs?

 

[JeffreyLebowski]

I think I skipped that last stage you listed. I think that one is also known as the Metro Stage.

 

[Miramonti]

The best road to lasting happiness is thru finding fulfillment.

 

[pontifex]

i need to fvcking move out. i swear i;d be 100x happier if i had my own place.
i don't necessarily have a problem living at home, i get along ok wth my parents, but there little privacy, there's the problem of noise (between my parents, their dogs, and my mom watches my niece and she is loud), i'm running out of room for my stuff (this includes food that i buy for myself. i rarely eat my parent's food). I've got stuff stacked on other stuff in my room because i have no where to put it.

with my bills and wanting to go back to school again, i don't think i can afford an apartment, at least not the ones i've seen.

 

[Vic]

Happiness comes from the acceptance of change. I know it sounds cliche, but it's a journey, not a destination. Accept, let go, relax... It's when you let go your fears that your fears stop coming true.

 

[ThePresence]

Text

Worked for me.

 

[chowmein]

learn "the secret" ... you become what you think. law of attraction. etc.

 

[Alphathree33]

Originally posted by: chowmein
learn "the secret" ... you become what you think. law of attraction. etc.

I'm way farther down that rabbit hole than I let on with my original post, my friend. =)

The question isn't, "how do I obtain my goals?"

The question is, well, something like, "I know how to obtain goals. But which ones lead to happiness? What do you do with your life?"

 

[ITJunkie]

Originally posted by: TeeJay1952
I am 54 and the changes never stop.
Hopefully experience and time make you see things in a different way at the various stages of your life.
It is not a bad thing, it is just one of those things....

Well said. :thumbsup:

As you say, experience teaches you perspective...hopefully. For me, routine isn't really a bad thing. It's just a means to an end. I work at this job so I can afford to do many of the things I want. I've been "doing the same wife" for almost 18yrs and we still have lots of fun together. She's my best friend...with perks

 

[Lola]

Originally posted by: chowmein
learn "the secret" ... you become what you think. law of attraction. etc.

is The Secret the same one as Oprah talked about on her show?