Some kinda friend.

[CChaos]

How are they financially. Is it a big wedding? Maybe they couldn't afford alot of people. If you are invited but only because someone told you and not because you recieved an invitation in the mail with plenty of time to RSVP then something is wrong here. How would they know if you were coming? It's possible that she doesn't like you and doesn't want you there. It's also possible that she doesn't approve of the way your buddy "used to" act and associates his behavior with you and your friends. You say he had a rough childhood, maybe he's just trying to start over and put the past behind him. Also, he could be an evil bastard. Or he could be just a guy who lost touch and now is afraid that you don't have anything in common. Talk to the bastard!!

 

[Dulanic]

Originally posted by: CChaos
How are they financially. Is it a big wedding? Maybe they couldn't afford alot of people. If you are invited but only because someone told you and not because you recieved an invitation in the mail with plenty of time to RSVP then something is wrong here. How would they know if you were coming? It's possible that she doesn't like you and doesn't want you there. It's also possible that she doesn't approve of the way your buddy "used to" act and associates his behavior with you and your friends. You say he had a rough childhood, maybe he's just trying to start over and put the past behind him. Also, he could be an evil bastard. Or he could be just a guy who lost touch and now is afraid that you don't have anything in common. Talk to the bastard!!

It is a resonably large wedding, and his brother told us today he wanted us there and we are invited, he just didn't send us invitations. THATS why I'm extremely mad, he wanted us there but couldnt take the time to let us know when it was OR send us invitations. That's just wrong. I highly doubt she doesnt like us because of the way he used to act... he still acts how he always has.

 

[CT2TXtech]

Originally posted by: Dulanic

Originally posted by: CChaos
How are they financially. Is it a big wedding? Maybe they couldn't afford alot of people. If you are invited but only because someone told you and not because you recieved an invitation in the mail with plenty of time to RSVP then something is wrong here. How would they know if you were coming? It's possible that she doesn't like you and doesn't want you there. It's also possible that she doesn't approve of the way your buddy "used to" act and associates his behavior with you and your friends. You say he had a rough childhood, maybe he's just trying to start over and put the past behind him. Also, he could be an evil bastard. Or he could be just a guy who lost touch and now is afraid that you don't have anything in common. Talk to the bastard!!

It is a resonably large wedding, and his brother told us today he wanted us there and we are invited, he just didn't send us invitations. THATS why I'm extremely mad, he wanted us there but couldnt take the time to let us know when it was OR send us invitations. That's just wrong. I highly doubt she doesnt like us because of the way he used to act... he still acts how he always has.

THats too bad, It prob is all his wife. I have a wedding, friend situation myself

 

[Jzero]

It wasn't just me he didn't invite, we ARE invited, he just didn't let us know that. Infact only reason we found out when the wedding was is because his brother told us today.

Maybe things are different over here on the coast, but the custom here is that you don't assume you are invited unless an invitation was given to you. Just b/c dude's brother told you about the wedding doesn't constitute an invite, at least not in any of my experience.

And my true colors are showing? Of corse his best man should have been one of his long time good friends over someone hes known less then one year. I never ever said it had to be me, infact I would have been a bad choice considering I live so far away now.

That's exactly what I mean by your true colors. WHO ARE YOU to dictate HIS choice in this matter? Just because you and your other buddies have known him for 20 years doesn't mean he hasn't bumped into someone in the past year that he feels to whom he feels closer.

And my presumption he should have invited me? OF CORSE HE SHOULD HAVE! We've known each other for twenty freakin years! Not to mention before they finalized this all he said he wanted all of us at his wedding. I think I am not wrong here by feeling this way.

You are wrong. Dead wrong. Your friend is guilty of not communicating well, but if he didn't want to or could not invite you, that's his choice. Get over it.

My gf and I are not wealthy, and there will be a healthy bit of fat-trimming from our guest list. Anyone who is pissed because they didn't make the cut proves exactly why they didn't make the cut.

 

[Jzero]

Originally posted by: Dulanic

Originally posted by: CChaos
How are they financially. Is it a big wedding? Maybe they couldn't afford alot of people. If you are invited but only because someone told you and not because you recieved an invitation in the mail with plenty of time to RSVP then something is wrong here. How would they know if you were coming? It's possible that she doesn't like you and doesn't want you there. It's also possible that she doesn't approve of the way your buddy "used to" act and associates his behavior with you and your friends. You say he had a rough childhood, maybe he's just trying to start over and put the past behind him. Also, he could be an evil bastard. Or he could be just a guy who lost touch and now is afraid that you don't have anything in common. Talk to the bastard!!

It is a resonably large wedding, and his brother told us today he wanted us there and we are invited, he just didn't send us invitations. THATS why I'm extremely mad, he wanted us there but couldnt take the time to let us know when it was OR send us invitations. That's just wrong. I highly doubt she doesnt like us because of the way he used to act... he still acts how he always has.

Ehh, then he's just a dumbass. I retract my previous statement about him not inviting you if that's the case.

ALthough my opinion on your reaction to his choice of best man stands.

It's times like this, I'm thankful that I've got one brother. Ain't nobody going to be able to fault me for making him my best man.

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: Dulanic
What a great friend I have. I was told he was getting married, not by him but through another friend. I then find out his best man is someone hes only known for a year, instead of me or one of his other friends who hes known for 20 years. Then I find out TODAY his wedding is saturday, thats right I find out less then ONE week ahead of time, and of corse it wasn't him to tell me, it was again through another friend. I moved earlier this year so I'm 1200 miles away, no way I could ever make it now. Neither can a few of my other friends, who are also his friends, all because he never let us know when it was. They can't go because they can't get off work, because we got all of one week warning. I am so pissed off right now, we have all been friends for 20 years and he doesn't even have the respect to let us know when his wedding is. Some kinda friend.

It's good to see you're thinking of his happiness and not your own.

 

[Dulanic]

Originally posted by: Jzero

It wasn't just me he didn't invite, we ARE invited, he just didn't let us know that. Infact only reason we found out when the wedding was is because his brother told us today.

Maybe things are different over here on the coast, but the custom here is that you don't assume you are invited unless an invitation was given to you. Just b/c dude's brother told you about the wedding doesn't constitute an invite, at least not in any of my experience.

And my true colors are showing? Of corse his best man should have been one of his long time good friends over someone hes known less then one year. I never ever said it had to be me, infact I would have been a bad choice considering I live so far away now.

That's exactly what I mean by your true colors. WHO ARE YOU to dictate HIS choice in this matter? Just because you and your other buddies have known him for 20 years doesn't mean he hasn't bumped into someone in the past year that he feels to whom he feels closer.

And my presumption he should have invited me? OF CORSE HE SHOULD HAVE! We've known each other for twenty freakin years! Not to mention before they finalized this all he said he wanted all of us at his wedding. I think I am not wrong here by feeling this way.

You are wrong. Dead wrong. Your friend is guilty of not communicating well, but if he didn't want to or could not invite you, that's his choice. Get over it.

My gf and I are not wealthy, and there will be a healthy bit of fat-trimming from our guest list. Anyone who is pissed because they didn't make the cut proves exactly why they didn't make the cut.

Damn I'm glad I'm not your friend. You think I'm a bad friend because I am upset he didn't take the time to let me know? If if he wasn't inviting me WHICH HE IS, his brother who is also a friend has confirmed that with us, he could at the least call and explain their hard on money and can't afford more people. But that isn't the case, they have invited alot of people, he just didn't send us invitation. But you know... like I said if he couldn't invite us for any reason that is fine but TELL US THAT, we are good friends. And again as I said we have confirmed WE ARE INVITED, he just forgot to let US know that, so now none of us can go because we found out so late.

 

[shimsham]

Originally posted by: Dulanic

Originally posted by: CChaos
How are they financially. Is it a big wedding? Maybe they couldn't afford alot of people. If you are invited but only because someone told you and not because you recieved an invitation in the mail with plenty of time to RSVP then something is wrong here. How would they know if you were coming? It's possible that she doesn't like you and doesn't want you there. It's also possible that she doesn't approve of the way your buddy "used to" act and associates his behavior with you and your friends. You say he had a rough childhood, maybe he's just trying to start over and put the past behind him. Also, he could be an evil bastard. Or he could be just a guy who lost touch and now is afraid that you don't have anything in common. Talk to the bastard!!

It is a resonably large wedding, and his brother told us today he wanted us there and we are invited, he just didn't send us invitations. THATS why I'm extremely mad, he wanted us there but couldnt take the time to let us know when it was OR send us invitations. That's just wrong. I highly doubt she doesnt like us because of the way he used to act... he still acts how he always has.

eh...do you really need a formal invitation? maybe since you are friends, he figures youll understand and so he concentrated his efforts elswhere. theres a lot of crap to do for a wedding.

 

[Dulanic]

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: Dulanic
What a great friend I have. I was told he was getting married, not by him but through another friend. I then find out his best man is someone hes only known for a year, instead of me or one of his other friends who hes known for 20 years. Then I find out TODAY his wedding is saturday, thats right I find out less then ONE week ahead of time, and of corse it wasn't him to tell me, it was again through another friend. I moved earlier this year so I'm 1200 miles away, no way I could ever make it now. Neither can a few of my other friends, who are also his friends, all because he never let us know when it was. They can't go because they can't get off work, because we got all of one week warning. I am so pissed off right now, we have all been friends for 20 years and he doesn't even have the respect to let us know when his wedding is. Some kinda friend.

It's good to see you're thinking of his happiness and not your own.

How about you read the rest of the things I have said? I do wish him hapiness, but what he did is still wrong.

 

[Dulanic]

Originally posted by: shimsham

Originally posted by: Dulanic

Originally posted by: CChaos
How are they financially. Is it a big wedding? Maybe they couldn't afford alot of people. If you are invited but only because someone told you and not because you recieved an invitation in the mail with plenty of time to RSVP then something is wrong here. How would they know if you were coming? It's possible that she doesn't like you and doesn't want you there. It's also possible that she doesn't approve of the way your buddy "used to" act and associates his behavior with you and your friends. You say he had a rough childhood, maybe he's just trying to start over and put the past behind him. Also, he could be an evil bastard. Or he could be just a guy who lost touch and now is afraid that you don't have anything in common. Talk to the bastard!!

It is a resonably large wedding, and his brother told us today he wanted us there and we are invited, he just didn't send us invitations. THATS why I'm extremely mad, he wanted us there but couldnt take the time to let us know when it was OR send us invitations. That's just wrong. I highly doubt she doesnt like us because of the way he used to act... he still acts how he always has.

eh...do you really need a formal invitation? maybe since you are friends, he figures youll understand and so he concentrated his efforts elswhere. theres a lot of crap to do for a wedding.

As I have said... no I didn't need a formal invitation, but he needs to atleast let us know when it is ALOT EARLIER then a few days in advance. A phone call would have been fine with me, I didn't need a written formal inviatation.

 

[Dulanic]

Originally posted by: Jzero

Originally posted by: Dulanic

Originally posted by: CChaos
How are they financially. Is it a big wedding? Maybe they couldn't afford alot of people. If you are invited but only because someone told you and not because you recieved an invitation in the mail with plenty of time to RSVP then something is wrong here. How would they know if you were coming? It's possible that she doesn't like you and doesn't want you there. It's also possible that she doesn't approve of the way your buddy "used to" act and associates his behavior with you and your friends. You say he had a rough childhood, maybe he's just trying to start over and put the past behind him. Also, he could be an evil bastard. Or he could be just a guy who lost touch and now is afraid that you don't have anything in common. Talk to the bastard!!

It is a resonably large wedding, and his brother told us today he wanted us there and we are invited, he just didn't send us invitations. THATS why I'm extremely mad, he wanted us there but couldnt take the time to let us know when it was OR send us invitations. That's just wrong. I highly doubt she doesnt like us because of the way he used to act... he still acts how he always has.

Ehh, then he's just a dumbass. I retract my previous statement about him not inviting you if that's the case.

ALthough my opinion on your reaction to his choice of best man stands.

It's times like this, I'm thankful that I've got one brother. Ain't nobody going to be able to fault me for making him my best man.

Yes, I think it was just misunderstood why I'm mad. Its not because we were or were not invited, its because we WERE invited, but never told LOL. As for his best man choice... as I said a brother or long time friend is a good choice, ANY of his long time friends is a good choice, but to make someone hes been friends with for less then a year his best man? So wrong IMO.

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: Dulanic

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: Dulanic
What a great friend I have. I was told he was getting married, not by him but through another friend. I then find out his best man is someone hes only known for a year, instead of me or one of his other friends who hes known for 20 years. Then I find out TODAY his wedding is saturday, thats right I find out less then ONE week ahead of time, and of corse it wasn't him to tell me, it was again through another friend. I moved earlier this year so I'm 1200 miles away, no way I could ever make it now. Neither can a few of my other friends, who are also his friends, all because he never let us know when it was. They can't go because they can't get off work, because we got all of one week warning. I am so pissed off right now, we have all been friends for 20 years and he doesn't even have the respect to let us know when his wedding is. Some kinda friend.

It's good to see you're thinking of his happiness and not your own.

How about you read the rest of the things I have said? I do wish him hapiness, but what he did is still wrong.

A Hypocrite AND irascible. Nice.

 

[Jzero]

Yes, I think it was just misunderstood why I'm mad. Its not because we were or were not invited, its because we WERE invited, but never told LOL.

Yeh that just sucks. Although, is he normally a scatterbrain? I have come to expect this kind of stuff from some of my friends.

As for his best man choice... as I said a brother or long time friend is a good choice, ANY of his long time friends is a good choice, but to make someone hes been friends with for less then a year his best man? So wrong IMO.

I met my soon-to-be-fiancee (picking up the ring tomorrow...whoa) only 7 months ago. Through her I've met people that I am closer to now than people I have known since grammar school. I'm lucky to have an "obvious" choice that nobody can naysay, but if I didn't, I'd probably choose one of my "new" friends sooner than one of my "old" friends. It's just the way things have played out, I've been through a lot with these people and I grew very close to them very quickly.

 

[Dulanic]

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: Dulanic

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: Dulanic
What a great friend I have. I was told he was getting married, not by him but through another friend. I then find out his best man is someone hes only known for a year, instead of me or one of his other friends who hes known for 20 years. Then I find out TODAY his wedding is saturday, thats right I find out less then ONE week ahead of time, and of corse it wasn't him to tell me, it was again through another friend. I moved earlier this year so I'm 1200 miles away, no way I could ever make it now. Neither can a few of my other friends, who are also his friends, all because he never let us know when it was. They can't go because they can't get off work, because we got all of one week warning. I am so pissed off right now, we have all been friends for 20 years and he doesn't even have the respect to let us know when his wedding is. Some kinda friend.

It's good to see you're thinking of his happiness and not your own.

How about you read the rest of the things I have said? I do wish him hapiness, but what he did is still wrong.

A Hypocrite AND irascible. Nice.

Please explain or go away and stop trolling... I think I have a right to be angry as do all of us he did this to. To be invited but not told so is just wrong. We all wanted to be there to support him, we have always been there for him. I think anyone in this situation would be upset.

 

[Siddhartha]

Originally posted by: Maleficus
Are you sure he is your friend...?

People change....

 

[lokiju]

Best flame war of the day by far!!

:evil:

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: Dulanic


Please explain or go away and stop trolling... I think I have a right to be angry as do all of us he did this to. To be invited but not told so is just wrong. We all wanted to be there to support him, we have always been there for him. I think anyone in this situation would be upset.

I would say, in general, you never have a "right" to be angry.
Ask yourself what your anger is granting you? Is it bringing you any closer to your friend or any happiness whatsoever?

Your post indicates that what you are most concerned about here is how YOU were treated, and not your friends happiness.

Not that I care. Trolling is what OT is about. You post others react to that post, sometimes we disagree with you or how you handled the situation, get over it.

 

[Dulanic]

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: Dulanic


Please explain or go away and stop trolling... I think I have a right to be angry as do all of us he did this to. To be invited but not told so is just wrong. We all wanted to be there to support him, we have always been there for him. I think anyone in this situation would be upset.

I would say, in general, you never have a "right" to be angry.
Ask yourself what your anger is granting you? Is it bringing you any closer to your friend or any happiness whatsoever?

Your post indicates that what you are most concerned about here is how YOU were treated, and not your friends happiness.

Not that I care. Trolling is what OT is about. You post others react to that post, sometimes we disagree with you or how you handled the situation, get over it.

Damn right Im mad.... Here is a conversation with my friend on ICQ a few min ago... I left him a voice message about this asking if he got invited.

Friend: yeah, i just listened to your message
Me: did he ever invite you?
Friend: umm....
Friend: he said he was going to send me an invite
Friend: thats the last ive heard
Dulanic: Pretty crappy to all of a sudden find out its this saturday... he never told anyone when or where it is
Friend: godd*mn
Friend: i didnt know it was sat
Friend: i have to work too

As you can see he even told us he was going to send us invitations. Noone can go cause he never informed us. Of corse were upset, he was our friend we wanted to be there. I wish him hapiness, he was a friend Id never wish him anything negative, but I do know I don't consider him a friend anymore.

 

[bleeb]

Quit your whining. You don't have to waste money on a damn wedding gift so consider yourself lucky MANG!