1)Mrs. Day's dishwasher quit working so she calls a repairman.
Since she has to go to work the next day, she tells him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish-washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the check. Oh, by the way, don't worry about my Bull Dog; he won't bother you. But, whatever you do, DO NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" When the repairman arrives at Mrs. Day's apartment the next day, he discovers the biggest and meanest Bull Dog he has ever seen. But just as she said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his business. The Parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing, and name-calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid ass ugly bird!" To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"
2) An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up
to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colours:
green, red, orange, blue, and yellow.
The old man just stared. Every time the young man looked, the old
man was staring.
The young man finally said sarcastically,
"What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"
Without batting an eye, the old man replied,
"Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if
you were my son."
Since she has to go to work the next day, she tells him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish-washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the check. Oh, by the way, don't worry about my Bull Dog; he won't bother you. But, whatever you do, DO NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" When the repairman arrives at Mrs. Day's apartment the next day, he discovers the biggest and meanest Bull Dog he has ever seen. But just as she said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his business. The Parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing, and name-calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid ass ugly bird!" To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"
2) An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up
to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colours:
green, red, orange, blue, and yellow.
The old man just stared. Every time the young man looked, the old
man was staring.
The young man finally said sarcastically,
"What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"
Without batting an eye, the old man replied,
"Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if
you were my son."
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