Some goofy science jokes

[TheChort]

Physics

I went to a college in Germany. Above the entrance to one of the classrooms there was a plaque that read: "Heisenberg may have studied here".

Q : Did you hear about the murderous mathematician?
A : He went on a killing spree with a pair of axis!

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a mouse?
Elephant x Mouse Sine Theta

Q: Does light have mass?
A: Of course not. It's not even Catholic!!!

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"

The speed of time is one second per second.

Biology

Biology is the only science in which multiplication means the same thing as division.

Did you hear about the biologist who had twins? She baptized one and kept the other as a control.

Q: How do you figure out the sex of a chromosome?
A: Pull down its genes.

Q. What do you do when you find a dead chemist?
A. Barium.

-------
And my favorite...

There are 10 kinds of people in the world..... Those who understand Binary, and those who don't.

 

[Legendary]

Some were groaners, some were clever. 5/10

 

[yobarman]

some of those are hilarious, sadly lol

 

[Atheus]

There's a mathematician, an engineer, and a computer scientist, all in a car crash. The mathematician gets out of the car and says "I know exactly how this happened. The lateral velocity vector overrode the friction forces, just let me do a few more calculations". then the engineer gets out - "no time" he says, "just let me at the suspention with some duct tape and we'll be good as new". Then the computer scientist gets out and says "Don't de so hastey! First we have to take the car back up to the top of the hill and run the crash again _at least_ 3 times!"

 

[cKGunslinger]

Me like. Heisenberg jokes always get roffles from me.

 

[George P Burdell]

It's sad that I actually got all of those

 

[TheChort]

Originally posted by: George P Burdell
It's sad that I actually got all of those

:thumbsup:

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

He worked it out with a pencil.

 

[Heisenberg]

Originally posted by: cKGunslinger
Me like. Heisenberg jokes always get roffles from me.

Yeah, me too.

 

[NiteWulf]

Originally posted by: HomeBrewerDude
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

He worked it out with a pencil.

:Q



:camera:s?

 

[cKGunslinger]

Originally posted by: Heisenberg

Originally posted by: cKGunslinger
Me like. Heisenberg jokes always get roffles from me.

Yeah, me too.

*double-take*

:laugh:

 

[arcas]

Young Issac Newton was a shy fellow. One of his buddies was trying to introduce him to a friend. Newton kept declining. Finally, his friend exclaimed "Comeon, Newton, meter, she's a joule!"

 

[DaShen]

I haven't heard some of those

 

[Dualist]

Some of those were funny though.

 

[DnetMHZ]

Originally posted by: HomeBrewerDude
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

He worked it out with a pencil.

:laugh: