Some Good Reasons to be a Guy...

Josh

Lifer
Mar 20, 2000
10,917
0
0
Good Reasons To Be A Guy...

Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.

You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

You can leave the motel bed unmade.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You don't have to clean if the meter reader is coming.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."

Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

Wedding dress - $2,000. Tuxedo rental - 75 bucks.

You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.

If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

Your pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

You know which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

Gas (at either end) is cool.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
 

Horus

Platinum Member
Dec 27, 2003
2,838
1
0
So very true, so very true.

Also add, "If a girl tells you she doesn't like porn, she's a prude. If a guy tells you he doesn't like porn, he's a liar."
 

GasX

Lifer
Feb 8, 2001
29,033
6
81
I remember when my grandpappy bounced me on his knee and told me about when his grandfather first heard this bit when he was serving in the Union forces in the Civil War. Apparently, everyone laughed at the person who brought it up because everyone had heard it back in '23...
 

lozina

Lifer
Sep 10, 2001
11,711
8
81
Originally posted by: ArchCenturion
add to list?
People enjoy watching you play sports?
You can eat whatever, whenever, as much as you want?

You don't enjoy watching Maria sharapova or when Anna Kournikova played sports?
 

brtspears2

Diamond Member
Nov 16, 2000
8,659
1
81
Originally posted by: archiloco
yeah i felt a little manly, but i have more than 3 pairs of shoes :Q

I got 3 pairs of shoes, but 2 pairs are well past their retirement date.
 

lozina

Lifer
Sep 10, 2001
11,711
8
81
Originally posted by: brtspears2
Originally posted by: archiloco
yeah i felt a little manly, but i have more than 3 pairs of shoes :Q

I got 3 pairs of shoes, but 2 pairs are well past their retirement date.

Yeah same here, but I think it actually reinforces manliness. One pair is from way back in high school. I use it for doing dirty work in the yard.
 

cKGunslinger

Lifer
Nov 29, 1999
16,408
57
91
Originally posted by: Mwilding
I remember when my grandpappy bounced me on his knee and told me about when his grandfather first heard this bit when he was serving in the Union forces in the Civil War. Apparently, everyone laughed at the person who brought it up because everyone had heard it back in '23...

Lies! They didn't have email forwards back then! ;)