Originally posted by: Shiva112
thats freakin sweet. What are the requirements for joining the NSA?
1. Give up your citizenship. The United States is not responsible for the actions of a foreigner.
2. Sign a waiver. NSA is not responsible for what happens to you. If you should die, be injured, maimed, or disabled for life, you shouldn't be walking around with an unregistered weapon, anyway.
3. One kidney. You can live on one, so your spare is removed and sold on the black market.
4. One lung. See above.
5. Your left nut. Makes a great place for a cyanide capsule. Interrogators now routinely knock out all teeth. However, they are also known to give swift kicks to the balls to start off interrogations, so when you're caught...
6. Sex training part. All NSA agents are required to undergo sexual conditioning. Every night, for two hours, you will bend your ass over and enjoy non-stop reaming by the senior members of the organization, male and female.
7. Breathing exercises. Every morning, immediately after breakfast, all NSA agents are required to give blowjobs to senior members of the organization.
8. Your dog, Spot. All pets will be handed over to the NSA where they will be used for biological experiments by senior members of the organization.
9. Your face. Once initiated into the NSA, you will undergo plastic surgery until you look like Michael Jackson.
10.Certifiable insanity. Not only would you have to be insane to attempt to assassinate a drug lord in the middle of his daily inspection over his personal army, but when caught, any mention of the NSA while being tortured is attributed to being merely a relic of your latest wet dream.