- Feb 1, 2008
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I guess you can call this a public service duty of sorts.
A warning.
So you put someone down as your beneficiary, or they you, on those financial documents.
Your bank accounts, your retirement 401K, your life insurance policy, that pension.
And you assume all is well.
That you and your love ones will be fully protected.
Think again.........
Here are some of what you should ALWAYS have in hand (meaning in your possession), incase the unthinkable happens to you or your loved one(s).
An official marriage license WITH the raised state seal (for those married folks).
Your official birth certificate also with the raised state seal. Never just a copy.
Both documents should always be in your possession.
Where you can get to them right away.
Never kept in some safe deposit box.
Not in your friends safe.
Not in your relatives safe, regardless of the relationship of that relative.
But only kept in YOUR home. In YOUR possession. Somewhere very close by.
In a drawer. In YOUR safe in your home. In a fireproof box in YOUR closet.
Rule of thumb, somewhere just as long as you can get to it without leaving your house.
Why I bring this up is with my own personal experience, in witnessing the nightmare a close relative of mine is and has been going through after the death of a spouse.
They were married 40+ years, had three kids, bank accounts, pensions, wills, life insurance, mortgages.
And just because a persons name is down as a beneficiary on some financial form or insurance policy meant diddily squat in the end.
You could be married for years and years, have kids and kids, family, friends, but if you cannot prove that fact with legal documentation, meaning birth certificates and marriage license, your are screwed big time.
You might as well have never been married at all.
Kids? Children? Ha... big deal.
Means nothing in proving that you were the intended beneficiary. The spouse.
In this close relatives case, they were married 40 some years ago, in a small town.
Very small town.
Sure, they had an official legal state sealed marriage license. Kept it in the in-laws safe.
A courtesy offered long ago by an in-law with a nice fireproof safe in the home.
Why not? Sounds logical.
Trouble was, ten years later that safe, which also contained a valuable coin collection, was stolen by someone(s), possibly connected by business or blood relationship.
No one was ever caught. No one ever confessed. Still a mystery.
But the safe, never the less, gone.
As well as the coin collection, and all the documents it contained.
One of which just happened to be a marriage license.
But who cares? No one expects to lose a spouse, especially when they are still considered young and healthy. Full of life and still setting goals.
But shit happens. Usually when least expected.
And proving the surviving spouse is the legally intended beneficiary when it comes down to bank accounts, pensions, insurance policies, retirement savings plans, proving that fact takes far more than the obvious that the two were married, had raised children, or put some name down on a financial paper in the slot labeled "beneficiary".
All meant nothing, in the end....
So now you need proof of that original marriage license, suddenly, that license that disappeared along with the coins and that safe.
Should be pretty simply to get reproduction of that legal document, right?
Wrong!
That small township has no idea where your marriage license was, is, or might now be located. So much has changed over 40+ years in that sleepy little town.
Records, what records? The court house was moved. Then the township changed.
Beats me what happened to all those records, you are told.
So the bank holds the account. The insurance company will hardly talk to you at all, especially ever handing you over an insurance check, without that legally recorded marriage license in hand. The one with the raised state seal. That license the whereabouts is completely unknown.
So there you are. Forget about grieving, you spend your nights crying, your mornings on the phone, and your afternoons running all around just trying to prove something you never in your life imagined you would have to prove to anyone.
And all just because you do not have those legal, not copies, but legal documents in hand.
Not one institution will believe that you were ever married at all.
To them, that never happened.
And that beneficiary named on the various financial forms, might as well be written in invisible ink. Doesn't exist.
So as my relative goes through this nightmare, day after day, for weeks now, I offer this warning to all.
A name on some paper means nothing when it involves death of a spouse or relative, never mention non relative.
Legal proof is what you need, and they all will only insist on that.
Legal documents. Original, or officially legally reproduced papers.
So regardless, always have two things available in your home, at your finger tips, in a moments notice.
1. Your official "raised" state seal birth certificate for ALL family members.
2. Your official state seal marriage license (if applicable).
Never copies. Only the official raised state seal documents will do.
Because, if and when the unthinkable should ever happen to a spouse or a brother or a sister, a parent, or a child, you do NOT want to be caught trying to prove something you never imagined you would have to ever prove to anyone.
And placing a name down as a beneficiary, or having your name as one, means noting.
You might as well put down the name Pee Wee Herman for kicks.
Because proof, legal proof, is all that matters.
And when you have to spend all your time, especially in a time of grieving, do prove the obvious, well that situation you do not want to be placed into.
So many people might think none of this applies to them.
Why risk it?
Better make sure you have your legal documents act together.
And better NOW than later, when time has ran out.
A warning.
So you put someone down as your beneficiary, or they you, on those financial documents.
Your bank accounts, your retirement 401K, your life insurance policy, that pension.
And you assume all is well.
That you and your love ones will be fully protected.
Think again.........
Here are some of what you should ALWAYS have in hand (meaning in your possession), incase the unthinkable happens to you or your loved one(s).
An official marriage license WITH the raised state seal (for those married folks).
Your official birth certificate also with the raised state seal. Never just a copy.
Both documents should always be in your possession.
Where you can get to them right away.
Never kept in some safe deposit box.
Not in your friends safe.
Not in your relatives safe, regardless of the relationship of that relative.
But only kept in YOUR home. In YOUR possession. Somewhere very close by.
In a drawer. In YOUR safe in your home. In a fireproof box in YOUR closet.
Rule of thumb, somewhere just as long as you can get to it without leaving your house.
Why I bring this up is with my own personal experience, in witnessing the nightmare a close relative of mine is and has been going through after the death of a spouse.
They were married 40+ years, had three kids, bank accounts, pensions, wills, life insurance, mortgages.
And just because a persons name is down as a beneficiary on some financial form or insurance policy meant diddily squat in the end.
You could be married for years and years, have kids and kids, family, friends, but if you cannot prove that fact with legal documentation, meaning birth certificates and marriage license, your are screwed big time.
You might as well have never been married at all.
Kids? Children? Ha... big deal.
Means nothing in proving that you were the intended beneficiary. The spouse.
In this close relatives case, they were married 40 some years ago, in a small town.
Very small town.
Sure, they had an official legal state sealed marriage license. Kept it in the in-laws safe.
A courtesy offered long ago by an in-law with a nice fireproof safe in the home.
Why not? Sounds logical.
Trouble was, ten years later that safe, which also contained a valuable coin collection, was stolen by someone(s), possibly connected by business or blood relationship.
No one was ever caught. No one ever confessed. Still a mystery.
But the safe, never the less, gone.
As well as the coin collection, and all the documents it contained.
One of which just happened to be a marriage license.
But who cares? No one expects to lose a spouse, especially when they are still considered young and healthy. Full of life and still setting goals.
But shit happens. Usually when least expected.
And proving the surviving spouse is the legally intended beneficiary when it comes down to bank accounts, pensions, insurance policies, retirement savings plans, proving that fact takes far more than the obvious that the two were married, had raised children, or put some name down on a financial paper in the slot labeled "beneficiary".
All meant nothing, in the end....
So now you need proof of that original marriage license, suddenly, that license that disappeared along with the coins and that safe.
Should be pretty simply to get reproduction of that legal document, right?
Wrong!
That small township has no idea where your marriage license was, is, or might now be located. So much has changed over 40+ years in that sleepy little town.
Records, what records? The court house was moved. Then the township changed.
Beats me what happened to all those records, you are told.
So the bank holds the account. The insurance company will hardly talk to you at all, especially ever handing you over an insurance check, without that legally recorded marriage license in hand. The one with the raised state seal. That license the whereabouts is completely unknown.
So there you are. Forget about grieving, you spend your nights crying, your mornings on the phone, and your afternoons running all around just trying to prove something you never in your life imagined you would have to prove to anyone.
And all just because you do not have those legal, not copies, but legal documents in hand.
Not one institution will believe that you were ever married at all.
To them, that never happened.
And that beneficiary named on the various financial forms, might as well be written in invisible ink. Doesn't exist.
So as my relative goes through this nightmare, day after day, for weeks now, I offer this warning to all.
A name on some paper means nothing when it involves death of a spouse or relative, never mention non relative.
Legal proof is what you need, and they all will only insist on that.
Legal documents. Original, or officially legally reproduced papers.
So regardless, always have two things available in your home, at your finger tips, in a moments notice.
1. Your official "raised" state seal birth certificate for ALL family members.
2. Your official state seal marriage license (if applicable).
Never copies. Only the official raised state seal documents will do.
Because, if and when the unthinkable should ever happen to a spouse or a brother or a sister, a parent, or a child, you do NOT want to be caught trying to prove something you never imagined you would have to ever prove to anyone.
And placing a name down as a beneficiary, or having your name as one, means noting.
You might as well put down the name Pee Wee Herman for kicks.
Because proof, legal proof, is all that matters.
And when you have to spend all your time, especially in a time of grieving, do prove the obvious, well that situation you do not want to be placed into.
So many people might think none of this applies to them.
Why risk it?
Better make sure you have your legal documents act together.
And better NOW than later, when time has ran out.
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