honestly, we met early one friday afternoon, hung out the entire day, and fooled around for a few hours that night. her plan to move to my area got canned for a semester cause she didnt move in time to considered local. maybe in the future...... i still chat with her daily on yahoo though.
honestly, we met early one friday afternoon, hung out the entire day, and fooled around for a few hours that night. her plan to move to my area got canned for a semester cause she didnt move in time to considered local. maybe in the future...... i still chat with her daily on yahoo though.
We live in a feminist society. No matter what the truth is, the man will be blamed and punished. Best thing you can do: don't fool around with women you just met.
Agreed, except the part about this being a feminist society. Women are HORRIBLE to each other still... in a feminist society, we wouldn't be such backstabbing wenches to one another. We actually live in a patriarchal society that has some laws regarding sex that favor women... IF she can prove she wasn't a slut before the incident happened.
Well I think the common perception is that the older man is taking advantage of the younger girl. Its pretty easy to make that assumption, because usually an older guy is more experienced, more sexually agressive, and supposed to be more mature. Now I'm not saying that girls aren't ever taken advantage of, but I think many of these 16 year-old girls are lavishing in the guy's attention and have no problem with sex at the time. Its only when they decide they regret it later that they say there were taken advantage of.
This doesn't apply to rape at all. I'm just saying these young girls don't know what they want at the time and that leads them (and guys) into trouble. I stay away from anything that hasn't been in college for at least a semester.
I'll agree with most of what you said, but I think you are speaking from a biased standpoint. I'll agree parents should keep them out of those situations, but I think you'll agree that most of the time that doesn't happen. Even if the parents are great parents and try to do all they can do, a teenager that age will find a way to do what they want, regardless of parents. It still seems to me you are placing almost all of the blame on the male. You last comment illustrates that imo.
Let's use the OP's description of what happened a few posts up as an example. He was not the aggressor, the female was. He asked questions, even while under the influence to try and make sure she was "of age", and she lied, and continued to push further. It seems like in that situation, pretty much all of your argument is out the window. He was not going after her, he was not somewhere where he expected underage girls to be, and even while under the influence, he tried to figure out her age by asking what school she went to, and she lied saying she went to college.
The fact remains that a lot of these young girls want to be with older guys, and in a lot of circumstances, they will lie and do whatever they can to accomplish this. If the law get's involved afterwards, there is no blame AT ALL attributed to the female.
One more thing, you speak about your daughters experience with her BF, and I think you were an excellent parent in that situation, but that's not a good illustration of what we are discussing here. He was 17 and she was 14...that is not illegal, and of course a 17 year old male is going to be "trying to get some" at that age...they are almost at their sexual peak.
I think we will probably have to agree to disagree here because you seem to be looking at this from a perspective of a female parent of young daughters, so your first inclination will probably be to lay all the blame on the males in these cases. I may be off base, and I apologize if I am, but this is the impression I get.
i get carded for condoms. not all the time, but i was thinking, like, baby, the gas station up the street sells condoms, but they card, got your id?
jk
WTF ... as far as I know, there are no age restrictions on buying condoms.
Just tell whoever cards you to fvck off ... they're just pissed cause you're getting
some and they're stuck in a gas station for the night
Originally posted by: Insane3D
I'll agree with most of what you said, but I think you are speaking from a biased standpoint. I'll agree parents should keep them out of those situations, but I think you'll agree that mosto f the time that doesn't happen. Even if the parents are great parents and try to do all they can do, a teenager that age will find a way to do what they want, regardless of parents. It still seems to me you are placing almost all of the blame on the male. You last comment illustrates that imo.
Let's use the OP's description of what happened a few posts up as an example. He was not the agressor, the female was. He asked questions, even while under the influence to try and make sure she was "of age", and she lied, and continued to push further. It seems like in that situation, pretty much all of your argument is out the window. He was not going after her, he was not somehwere where he expected underage girls to be, and even whil under the influence, he tried to figure out her age by asking what school she went to, and she lied saying she went to college.
The fact remains that a lot of these young girls want to be with older guys, and in a lot of circumstances, they will lie and do whatever they can to accomplish this. Ifthe law get's involved afterwards, there is no blame AT ALL attributed to the female.
One more thing, you speak about your daughters experience with her BF, and I think you were an excellent parent in that situation, but that's not agood illustration of what we are discussing here. He was 17 and she was 14...that is not illegal, and of course a 17 year old male is going to be "trying to get some" at that age...they are almost at their sexual peak.
I think we will probably have to agree to disagree here because you seem to be looking at this from a perspective of a female parent of young daughters, so your first inclination will probably be to lay all the blame on the males in these cases. I may be off base, and I apologize if I am, but this is the impression I get.
Agreed. What a lot of those teenage girls are betting on is the fact that they know their mothers will never think their daughters are being the aggressor. They also know they can lie about it later, claiming the guy was pressuring them, and mom will defend her.
I respect what Isla is saying about parenting, and agree with it, but mothers need to also realize that their daughters are NOT 'little angels'. All but one of the women I've gotten physical with were the aggressors as I'm usually fairly shy around women.
A friend of mine dated a girl that would be EXTREMELY aggressive with men. Then, after the relationship ended, she'd go telling people that he raped her. Fortunately, my friend caught onto this before having sex with her and dropped her like a bad habit.
Originally posted by: Insane3D
I'll agree with most of what you said, but I think you are speaking from a biased standpoint. I'll agree parents should keep them out of those situations, but I think you'll agree that mosto f the time that doesn't happen. Even if the parents are great parents and try to do all they can do, a teenager that age will find a way to do what they want, regardless of parents. It still seems to me you are placing almost all of the blame on the male. You last comment illustrates that imo.
Let's use the OP's description of what happened a few posts up as an example. He was not the agressor, the female was. He asked questions, even while under the influence to try and make sure she was "of age", and she lied, and continued to push further. It seems like in that situation, pretty much all of your argument is out the window. He was not going after her, he was not somehwere where he expected underage girls to be, and even whil under the influence, he tried to figure out her age by asking what school she went to, and she lied saying she went to college.
The fact remains that a lot of these young girls want to be with older guys, and in a lot of circumstances, they will lie and do whatever they can to accomplish this. Ifthe law get's involved afterwards, there is no blame AT ALL attributed to the female.
One more thing, you speak about your daughters experience with her BF, and I think you were an excellent parent in that situation, but that's not agood illustration of what we are discussing here. He was 17 and she was 14...that is not illegal, and of course a 17 year old male is going to be "trying to get some" at that age...they are almost at their sexual peak.
I think we will probably have to agree to disagree here because you seem to be looking at this from a perspective of a female parent of young daughters, so your first inclination will probably be to lay all the blame on the males in these cases. I may be off base, and I apologize if I am, but this is the impression I get.
I honestly don't blame the males. I'm not sure why it seems like I am coming across that way, because I don't feel that way. My daughter's first boyfriend also happened to be our neighbor and I made sure he knew that I didn't hold it against him. I even gave him a graduation gift ($$) when he graduated and maintained a friendly relationship with him, even though my daughter wouldn't speak to him. I didn't blame him for what happened, and I don't blame men for reacting to females who are being aggressors.
I guess the best thing is to not fool around with people you don't know, eh? I'm of the 'better to be safe than sorry' mindset and I do think it applies here well.
Originally posted by: DAGTA
Originally posted by: Insane3D
I'll agree with most of what you said, but I think you are speaking from a biased standpoint. I'll agree parents should keep them out of those situations, but I think you'll agree that mosto f the time that doesn't happen. Even if the parents are great parents and try to do all they can do, a teenager that age will find a way to do what they want, regardless of parents. It still seems to me you are placing almost all of the blame on the male. You last comment illustrates that imo.
Let's use the OP's description of what happened a few posts up as an example. He was not the agressor, the female was. He asked questions, even while under the influence to try and make sure she was "of age", and she lied, and continued to push further. It seems like in that situation, pretty much all of your argument is out the window. He was not going after her, he was not somehwere where he expected underage girls to be, and even whil under the influence, he tried to figure out her age by asking what school she went to, and she lied saying she went to college.
The fact remains that a lot of these young girls want to be with older guys, and in a lot of circumstances, they will lie and do whatever they can to accomplish this. Ifthe law get's involved afterwards, there is no blame AT ALL attributed to the female.
One more thing, you speak about your daughters experience with her BF, and I think you were an excellent parent in that situation, but that's not agood illustration of what we are discussing here. He was 17 and she was 14...that is not illegal, and of course a 17 year old male is going to be "trying to get some" at that age...they are almost at their sexual peak.
I think we will probably have to agree to disagree here because you seem to be looking at this from a perspective of a female parent of young daughters, so your first inclination will probably be to lay all the blame on the males in these cases. I may be off base, and I apologize if I am, but this is the impression I get.
Agreed. What a lot of those teenage girls are betting on is the fact that they know their mothers will never think their daughters are being the aggressor. They also know they can lie about it later, claiming the guy was pressuring them, and mom will defend her.
I respect what Isla is saying about parenting, and agree with it, but mothers need to also realize that their daughters are NOT 'little angels'. All but one of the women I've gotten physical with were the aggressors as I'm usually fairly shy around women.
A friend of mine dated a girl that would be EXTREMELY aggressive with men. Then, after the relationship ended, she'd go telling people that he raped her. Fortunately, my friend caught onto this before having sex with her and dropped her like a bad habit.
My middle daughter is not a little angel. And I am prepared to nail her window closed and put motion sensors throughout the house if I have to. She's going to be 12 soon and I know I have my work cut out for me. She's just like I was.
I think parents need to know their children, PERIOD.
Originally posted by: Insane3D
On that, we agree 100%! (even though I'm not a parent)
Ditto.
Originally posted by: Insane3D
On that, we agree 100%! (even though I'm not a parent)
Well, I came by it the hard way. I love my parents dearly and I know they love me, but they were soooooo naive.... they grew up in the 30's and 40's and I am their youngest child (mom was 35 when she had me). They had NO IDEA what I was being influenced by or getting into. They just couldn't imagine it. Fortunately, for what they lacked in social awareness, they made up for by being excellent role models in general.
Kadarin
Lifer
- Nov 23, 2001
- 44,296
- 16
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Originally posted by: Isla
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Originally posted by: Isla
What blows my mind is how those girls get in these situations to begin with.
Maybe because even when they're that young, they actually want the attention (and even the hot beef injection) from older guys?
I was that girl once, and I had no idea who I was or what I wanted, and neither did any of my friends. We were just aping what we saw in magazines and movies.
Your experience does not necessarily echo everyone's experience. I just want to make sure to point out the fact that not every young girl is "innocent" in these situations. (And also note that this lack of innocence is not always from the "evil media conglomerates" that seek to control our lives.)
In your case, I agree with and applaud your parenting decisions with regard to your daughter.
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Originally posted by: Isla
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Originally posted by: Isla
What blows my mind is how those girls get in these situations to begin with.
Maybe because even when they're that young, they actually want the attention (and even the hot beef injection) from older guys?
I was that girl once, and I had no idea who I was or what I wanted, and neither did any of my friends. We were just aping what we saw in magazines and movies.
Your experience does not necessarily echo everyone's experience. I just want to make sure to point out the fact that not every young girl is "innocent" in these situations. (And also note that this lack of innocence is not always from the "evil media conglomerates" that seek to control our lives.)
In your case, I agree with and applaud your parenting decisions with regard to your daughter.
I respect your postion, and I understand that my experience isn't the same as everyone else's. I happen to have one daughter who I am challenged to teach the right behaviors.... she's brilliant and strong willed, and I am extremely proud of her, but I am not going to let her get away with anything. I also have a son who I do NOT want to be manipulated by psycho chicks. It's my job to be as aware and involved as possible and to understand BOTH male and female perspectives. I don't want to have any regrets.
I know a guy who stupidly got involved with what he thought was a 20 year old hooker, and after sleeping with her several times, her 28 year old MOTHER tried to blackmail him to keep it quiet that he was actually messing around with a 12 year old girl. (I saw her once, she looked every bit as old as her mom!) He paid her off, then decided to stop and she went to the cops. He got arrested, and pled guilty to some BS charge (The pics of the 12 year old would make convicting him of stat rape a real problem), but it was all over the news, and his wife ended up divoricing him and it got ugly, real ugly. His business survived, but he had an awful tough time for a couple of years before it got better.
What kind of puzzled me was that the mom admitted pimping the kid out, and they never took her away from her! Hell, a friend of mine came to school with muddy pants several days in a row (surfing down a muddy hill will do that), and the next thing you know, the child welfare people are doing an investigation after the teacher called them. If the teacher woulld have ASKED him why his pants were dirty, she wouldn't have looked like a total moron after the child welfare people did, and he told them what he was doing to get his pants dirty.
What kind of puzzled me was that the mom admitted pimping the kid out, and they never took her away from her! Hell, a friend of mine came to school with muddy pants several days in a row (surfing down a muddy hill will do that), and the next thing you know, the child welfare people are doing an investigation after the teacher called them. If the teacher woulld have ASKED him why his pants were dirty, she wouldn't have looked like a total moron after the child welfare people did, and he told them what he was doing to get his pants dirty.
That's messed up that the daughter didn't get taken away. The mother should have gotten thrown in jail for pimping out her frickin 12 yr old.
That's what everyone, other than the childrens services people thought too. There even was an editorial about it, but they just made her go to parenting classes and they had a social worker check up on her for a while. I think the kid and mom went to "family therapy" too..
I kind of wonder if mom had other info that could have made some big shots go down and that's why she kind of skated on everything..
I kind of wonder if mom had other info that could have made some big shots go down and that's why she kind of skated on everything..
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