so what's wrong with being a loner?

[skim milk]

so I do not mesh in with groups of people well.

Partly due to the fact that ever since I was born, I was that kid that was quiet in groups.
It didn't bother me when I was younger but now that I'm older, it makes all of us uncomfortable
was I supposed to change from my childhood and become a socialite, I really don't know.

 

[ironcrotch]

nah, you just need to find the right group of people to mesh into.

annndddd.. "Catch 22" you gotta go and meet people to discover a good group of people u mesh into.

 

[aidanjm]

so who wants you to be more sociable?

 

[Bozono]

Get really drunk and tell everyone around you that you love them. Say "I really love you man!". Always works.

 

[paulw86]

I think you just haven't found the right group of people to expose yourself yet. Keep searching..meet more new people and hopefully you will find some that you feel comfortable with.

 

[WyteWatt]

Originally posted by: fritolays
so I do not mesh in with groups of people well.

Partly due to the fact that ever since I was born, I was that kid that was quiet in groups.
It didn't bother me when I was younger but now that I'm older, it makes all of us uncomfortable
was I supposed to change from my childhood and become a socialite, I really don't know.

There is nothing wrong with being a loner.

Makes you more powerful.

In my opinion its better to be a loner than not being one.

 

[CrackaLackaZe]

there can be only one

 

[mjrpes3]

It's okay to be a loner... just as long as you keep it contained to your private life.

 

[necine]

Originally posted by: fritolays
so I do not mesh in with groups of people well.

Partly due to the fact that ever since I was born, I was that kid that was quiet in groups.
It didn't bother me when I was younger but now that I'm older, it makes all of us uncomfortable
was I supposed to change from my childhood and become a socialite, I really don't know.

Everybody desires social interaction. For instance, you are here asking a question, interacting socially. There's nothing wrong with keeping to yourself. However, some people are loners not because they want to be, they just can't find the nerve to speakup. Find out what causes your quietness. Are you afraid? Reactions? Non-combative?

If you genuinely want to speak and don't, find out what's stopping you and fix it. Have fun, enjoy life doing what you really want to do.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Because people are so shallow and afraid of themselves that they must judge themselves based on the quality/quantity of others around them (i.e. I'm nothing without my girlfriend or my friends dammit!). That carries over into their irrational judgement of others.

 

[TNM93]

Having the ability to strike up phony chit chat with strange people can be nerve racking for anyone. Some people just don't have patience for that type of conversation or effort. I don't think their is anything wrong with be a loner per se. However, if it's bothering you, join a support group or something, since you'll find people willing to share anything and who are in your situation.

 

[loic2003]

I'm a bit of both. I like going out with friends at the weekend, but I like doing things alone too. For example, I'm off for two weeks backpacking solo in Thailand in a fortnight.

It's a Yin-yang thing in my opinion: find some decent friends, but also be strong and independant.

Hint: women are very bad for your independance and can really force you to feel as though you're dependant on them.

 

[mjrpes3]

Originally posted by: necine

Everybody desires social interaction. For instance, you are here asking a question, interacting socially. There's nothing wrong with keeping to yourself. However, some people are loners not because they want to be, they just can't find the nerve to speakup. Find out what causes your quietness. Are you afraid? Reactions? Non-combative?

If you genuinely want to speak and don't, find out what's stopping you and fix it. Have fun, enjoy life doing what you really want to do.

For some people enjoying 'life doing what they really want to do' means spending a lot of that time alone. Just as some people need social interaction as an energizer and can't stand being away from people for too long, other people can't stand prolong interactions with others and need their space away from people. But it's difficult to feel comfortable when alone for long periods of time, because of the constant pressure society puts on you to constantly put on the social mask in order to succeed in life. Granted, most people do very well at this, as most people are genetically determined and raised to do so. But for us in the minority, it can be living hell at times. We feel that we are becoming failures in life because we're not socially fitting in, yet there is no real desire in us to play that game, anyway. The best we can do is find a way to accept ourselves as who we are, and not to look at the social game as a 'do or die' situation, but instead as a way to enrich our lifes and others in a most voluntary sort of way. When the game is played voluntarily, it becomes easier to deal with as we can play it on our own terms.

 

[necine]

Originally posted by: mjrpes3

Originally posted by: necine

Everybody desires social interaction. For instance, you are here asking a question, interacting socially. There's nothing wrong with keeping to yourself. However, some people are loners not because they want to be, they just can't find the nerve to speakup. Find out what causes your quietness. Are you afraid? Reactions? Non-combative?

If you genuinely want to speak and don't, find out what's stopping you and fix it. Have fun, enjoy life doing what you really want to do.

For some people enjoying 'life doing what they really want to do' means spending a lot of that time alone. Just as some people need social interaction as an energizer and can't stand being away from people for too long, other people can't stand prolong interactions with others and need their space away from people. But it's difficult to feel comfortable when alone for long periods of time, because of the constant pressure society puts on you to constantly put on the social mask in order to succeed in life. Granted, most people do very well at this, as most people are genetically determined and raised to do so. But for us in the minority, it can be living hell at times. We feel that we are becoming failures in life because we're not socially fitting in, yet there is no real desire in us to play that game, anyway. The best we can do is find a way to accept ourselves as who we are, and not to look at the social game as a 'do or die' situation, but instead as a way to enrich our lifes and others in a most voluntary sort of way. When the game is played voluntarily, it becomes easier to deal with as we can play it on our own terms.

Indeed. I was simply trying to say live life how you want to live it, my friend. I agree with you.

 

[mjrpes3]

Originally posted by: necine

Indeed. I was simply trying to say live life how you want to live it, my friend. I agree with you.

And I agree with you too. For some people, it's sometimes just a matter of building up confidence in the presence of others. But no matter what though, the point of life is to enjoy it, not become miserable by it

 

[Mucho]

You wont get any....

 

[Doom Machine]

if your not miserable then its perfectly fine.
i'm a loner in that i like to live alone, cant stand living with people since little annoyances builds up and i get aggrevated. i never have much to say to people i dont know, but i talk alot to certain people that have interests in technologies like pc's or games but even my best friends i never visit them nor call very often...lost touch with a few people cuz of it though. usually i'd rather play a videogame or just mess around on the pc than do alot of things but if thats wierd then oh well. whenever i have a g/f i'm always content, if not then i tend to feel i need to go out more.

sooner or later though i'm gonna have to move in with my g/f, she has 2 teenagers, i'm fine with the girl, shes quiet but the boy is very childish acting, when hes bored he annoys everyone, he even eats like a 5 year old spilling ketchup everywhere and licking his hands then touches stuff...to me its extremely aggrevating ....any ideas on how i can go about converting myself for family living?

 

[Continuity28]

Originally posted by: Doom Machine
if your not miserable then its perfectly fine.
i'm a loner in that i like to live alone, cant stand living with people since little annoyances builds up and i get aggrevated. i never have much to say to people i dont know, but i talk alot to certain people that have interests in technologies like pc's or games but even my best friends i never visit them nor call very often...lost touch with a few people cuz of it though. usually i'd rather play a videogame or just mess around on the pc than do alot of things but if thats wierd then oh well. whenever i have a g/f i'm always content, if not then i tend to feel i need to go out more.

sooner or later though i'm gonna have to move in with my g/f, she has 2 teenagers, i'm fine with the girl, shes quiet but the boy is very childish acting, when hes bored he annoys everyone, he even eats like a 5 year old spilling ketchup everywhere and licking his hands then touches stuff...to me its extremely aggrevating ....any ideas on how i can go about converting myself for family living?

Change name from Doom Machine to Broom Machine?

I think I'm the same way though... so I'm not the best for giving this kind of advice.

 

[skyking]

Originally posted by: Doom Machine
if your not miserable then its perfectly fine.
i'm a loner in that i like to live alone, cant stand living with people since little annoyances builds up and i get aggrevated. i never have much to say to people i dont know, but i talk alot to certain people that have interests in technologies like pc's or games but even my best friends i never visit them nor call very often...lost touch with a few people cuz of it though. usually i'd rather play a videogame or just mess around on the pc than do alot of things but if thats wierd then oh well. whenever i have a g/f i'm always content, if not then i tend to feel i need to go out more.

sooner or later though i'm gonna have to move in with my g/f, she has 2 teenagers, i'm fine with the girl, shes quiet but the boy is very childish acting, when hes bored he annoys everyone, he even eats like a 5 year old spilling ketchup everywhere and licking his hands then touches stuff...to me its extremely aggrevating ....any ideas on how i can go about converting myself for family living?

Count to ten for starters. To 50 as needed. Don't react to this child's need for attention in a negative manner. That is the predictable and wrong way to go about it, and in doing so you will fail at the family thing.
If you harness his energy into positive activity, you will be surprised at the kid's creativity and intelligence.
"Patience is a virtue" .....It is an absolute must when living with children

 

[LookingGlass]

Originally posted by: paulw86
I think you just haven't found the right group of people to expose yourself yet. Keep searching..meet more new people and hopefully you will find some that you feel comfortable with.

Man, let him meet people first, then he can expose himself later.

 

[Sentinel]

One of my friends finds it amusing to call me a loner. I don't think it is so much, but I would agree that I like to be alone and do my own thing. But I also like to hang out with her, or hang out with other people- just not all the time.

 

[moshquerade]

loners are generally suffering from depression

 

[skim milk]

I don't mind being a loner... at all.
it's just that I feel like it's going to hurt me in the long run

whether it be.... career wise... or having no friends to hang out with, and etc.

I just wish I can find a group of friends who I can feel close to.. feels like it's already too late and the boat has left