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So this guy walks into a bar with an alligator...

Pliablemoose

Pliablemoose

Lifer
A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this ligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."

The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered.

The man stood up again and made another offer."I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try". A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A woman timidly spoke up. "I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle".
 
Originally posted by: Pliablemoose
A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this ligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."

The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered.

The man stood up again and made another offer."I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try". A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A woman timidly spoke up. "I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle".
Click to expand...

Is she blond?
 
A man walks into a bar with a small amphibian in his arm. The bartender asks him what the name of his pet is. The man replies "His name's Tiny." The bartender asks "Why's his name Tiny?" The man says "Because he's my newt."



<rimshot>
 
Originally posted by: MaxDSP
A man walks into a bar with a small amphibian in his arm. The bartender asks him what the name of his pet is. The man replies "His name's Tiny." The bartender asks "Why's his name Tiny?" The man says "Because he's my newt."



<rimshot>
Click to expand...
Pretty bad.
 
Originally posted by: MaxDSP
A man walks into a bar with a small amphibian in his arm. The bartender asks him what the name of his pet is. The man replies "His name's Tiny." The bartender asks "Why's his name Tiny?" The man says "Because he's my newt."



<rimshot>
Click to expand...

/me hits MaxDSP on the head with a beer bottle.
 
Originally posted by: Kyteland
Originally posted by: MaxDSP
A man walks into a bar with a small amphibian in his arm. The bartender asks him what the name of his pet is. The man replies "His name's Tiny." The bartender asks "Why's his name Tiny?" The man says "Because he's my newt."

<rimshot>
Click to expand...

/me hits MaxDSP on the head with a beer bottle.
Click to expand...

<-- Makes sure :beer: bottle is empty! 😛
 
Originally posted by: Zim Hosein
Originally posted by: Kyteland
Originally posted by: MaxDSP
A man walks into a bar with a small amphibian in his arm. The bartender asks him what the name of his pet is. The man replies "His name's Tiny." The bartender asks "Why's his name Tiny?" The man says "Because he's my newt."

<rimshot>
Click to expand...

/me hits MaxDSP on the head with a beer bottle.
Click to expand...

<-- Makes sure :beer: bottle is empty! 😛
Click to expand...

/me goes into bullet-time and ducks
 
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