So the ex doesn't want me in our baby's life

[Hey Zeus]

My ex is 6 months pregnant and told me today it would be "Easier" if it was just her and the baby. She lives in California and i moved home to Pennsylvania in November to take care of my dad who had a stroke. Honestly when she told me today i fucking lost it. Started balling my eyes out.

So it leave's me at a crossroads. I want to be in the baby's life but i'm providing for my father right now and have no idea when i will get back to California. I also am weighing heavily on her wishes even tho they break my heart. Just needed to vent about it. Thanks for reading

HZ


Locked at OP's request

Red Dawn
Anandtech Admin

 

[surfsatwerk]

Are you paying any child support? Is there a legal ruling granting her full custody of the child. Need more details to help point you in the right direction.

 

[xanis]

Um... you're the child's FATHER. You have every damn right to see that child and be part of its life. Don't let this woman tell you otherwise. Take her to court if need be.

 

[JulesMaximus]

That sucks...sorry to hear that.

Hopefully, you can convince her to change her mind.

 

[Wheezer]

sorry to hear about it, hopefully she'll wise up and change her mind for the benefit of your child.

 

[darkxshade]

As a guy, she's already checkmated you! :\

 

[spidey07]

Don't make any agreements, keep your mouth shut, don't say anything.

Get an attorney now. Don't tell her about it, don't say anything. Let your actions be guided by the attorney.

 

[bignateyk]

Wow, that sucks for you and your kid. It really doesn't matter what she thinks or wants though. It matters what the courts decide (which will probably be in her favor since she's a woman, but you can expect to at least get some kind of visitation).

Does she expect you to continue to help financially?

 

[lxskllr]

Don't make any agreements, keep your mouth shut, don't say anything.

Get an attorney now. Don't tell her about it, don't say anything. Let your actions be guided by the attorney.

^^^

I don't agree with Spidey much, but he's right on track with this.

 

[Hacp]

Get legal help now!

 

[xanis]

Don't make any agreements, keep your mouth shut, don't say anything.

Get an attorney now. Don't tell her about it, don't say anything. Let your actions be guided by the attorney.

This.

 

[Hey Zeus]

Does she expect you to continue to help financially?

No. No financials have been settled.

 

[krylon]

yeah what they said. and post some pics of the ex

 

[moshquerade]

She's being pretty damn selfish or she thinks you might want an out? Is she saying you can get out of child support too if you relinquish your rights?

You are the only person who can help your dad? Is there anyone else who can share the burden?

 

[moshquerade]

Don't make any agreements, keep your mouth shut, don't say anything.

Get an attorney now. Don't tell her about it, don't say anything. Let your actions be guided by the attorney.

I agree.

 

[nick1985]

Don't make any agreements, keep your mouth shut, don't say anything.

Get an attorney now. Don't tell her about it, don't say anything. Let your actions be guided by the attorney.

This.

Dont do anything unless the lawyer tells you to do it, and when he tells you do to do something you do it. If he tells you to jump you say how high.

 

[Hey Zeus]

She's being pretty damn selfish or she thinks you might want an out? Is she saying you can get out of child support to if you relinquish your rights?

You are the only person who can help your dad? Is there anyone else who can share the burden?

I've made it quite clear that i would be back in california by the time she's due and wanted to start our family but today she dropped this bombshell on me.

We haven't even discussed child support at this venture. She has a good job and her parents helping her now.

I'm the only person who can help with my father. My sister is jobless and lets just say not the most inept person.

I could always ask for her to terminate my parental rights but thats not what i want.

 

[HannibalX]

You better be in the state when that little person comes out or it will be hell getting custody or any kind of visitation. Sounds like a mess, sorry for your troubles.

 

[nick1985]

We haven't even discussed child support at this venture. She has a good job and her parents helping her now.

Please dont be fooled by this. The woman WILL come for your money.

My sister is jobless and lets just say not the most inept person.

apt?

 

[Hey Zeus]

This isn't a "I hate you" situation. We both love and care about each other. She just "Thinks" this is the easier way of doing it. I really don't even know what to think anymore.

 

[Hey Zeus]

Please dont be fooled by this. The woman WILL come for your money.




apt?

InAPT Ty sir

 

[bignateyk]

Is there any reason why a court would deny you access to your kid? Like are you an ex-fellon, a drug addict, jobless, etc...? If you truly want to be a part of your kids life, and you are a productive member of society, then you can and should get some form of visitation rights in a court of law.

 

[moshquerade]

This isn't a "I hate you" situation. We both love and care about each other. She just "Thinks" this is the easier way of doing it. I really don't even know what to think anymore.

Why is this easier? It isn't easier for a child to have one parent.

 

[LikeLinus]

Are you paying any child support? Is there a legal ruling granting her full custody of the child. Need more details to help point you in the right direction.

Yes, his state adopted an fetal custody law. Zeus gets to carry the kid every other week until it's full term. He also pays fetal support.

 

[nick1985]

We both love and care about each other.

Someone who loves you and cares about you wouldn't treat you like a giant pile of horse shit.