• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

So, it's a nice day and you decide to change your oil in your car......

C

C'DaleRider

Guest
You've got the filter, oil, filter wrench, box wrench for the oil plug, paper towels, some kitty litter for any spills, and the drain pan all laid out.

So, what's the first thing you do? Drain the oil? Drop off the old filter?

Well, I'd humbly suggest opening your hood is the first thing you should do after assembling the proper equipment and supplies for the oil change. Why do I suggest that? If you've one of the ones with a fairly modern car, you probably have an inside hood release......adn believe me, it'd be a complete drag to drain out the oil only to have the hood opener/cable break when you go to open the hood.......after you've drained your oil pan. And it's even more of a drag trying to put the oil back in through the drain hole in the oil pan.
 
HAHA, how the hell did you manage to put oil in back up through the drain hole?! I always pop the hood first and always make sure that the filter will unscrew, before I go draining. It's a hard lesson to learn if you can't get the damn filter un done and no more oil in the pan 🙂
 
I always open my hood first... always.
then i raise the car, and loosen everything off.. then pan plug, then filter.

that really sucks mang :Q
 
It didn't happen to me.....I open my hood first always........but a car was towed into my brother's shop this morning and that IS what happened. Dude drained his oil, changed the filter, then tried to pop the hood and the cable broke. He tried to squirt oil back into the pan with a turkey baster and thought he'd gotten enough to chance a drive to the parts store. He started the car and drove to AutoZone but only made it a few miles before you-know-what happened. Now he was stuck with NO functioning car......so only alternative he had was to call a shop and have his car towed in. You should have heard the laughter in the background when John called me!!!! Gonna be one expensive oil change!!!
 
Originally posted by: C'DaleRider
It didn't happen to me.....I open my hood first always........but a car was towed into my brother's shop this morning and that IS what happened. Dude drained his oil, changed the filter, then tried to pop the hood and the cable broke. He tried to squirt oil back into the pan with a turkey baster and thought he'd gotten enough to chance a drive to the parts store. He started the car and drove to AutoZone but only made it a few miles before you-know-what happened. Now he was stuck with NO functioning car......so only alternative he had was to call a shop and have his car towed in. You should have heard the laughter in the background when John called me!!!! Gonna be one expensive oil change!!!
Click to expand...

Why did he try to drive to Autozone?? ??????????????
 
Originally posted by: WinkOsmosis
Originally posted by: C'DaleRider
It didn't happen to me.....I open my hood first always........but a car was towed into my brother's shop this morning and that IS what happened. Dude drained his oil, changed the filter, then tried to pop the hood and the cable broke. He tried to squirt oil back into the pan with a turkey baster and thought he'd gotten enough to chance a drive to the parts store. He started the car and drove to AutoZone but only made it a few miles before you-know-what happened. Now he was stuck with NO functioning car......so only alternative he had was to call a shop and have his car towed in. You should have heard the laughter in the background when John called me!!!! Gonna be one expensive oil change!!!
Click to expand...

Why did he try to drive to Autozone?? ??????????????
Click to expand...

Haven't you heard? The guys working there know everything.
 
How to change your oil...

INSTRUCTIONS FOR WOMEN:

1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee.
3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

Money spent: Oil Change: $20.00 Coffee: $ 1.00 Total: $21.00

INSTRUCTIONS FOR MEN:

1) Go to auto parts store and write a check for $50.00 for oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree.
2) Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it back to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on yourself in process.
12) Clean up mess.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Look for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up; poke oil filter with screwdriver and twist off.
16) Beer.
17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.
18) Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.
19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
20) Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24) Remember drain plug from step 11.
25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26) Discover that the used oil is buried in a hole in the backyard along with drain plug.
27) Drink beer.
28) Uncover hole and sift for drain plug.
29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor.
30) Drink beer.
31) Slip with wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.
32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
33) Begin cussing fit.
34) Throw wrench.
35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December 1992 in the left boob.
36) Beer.
37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
38) Beer.
39) Beer.
40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
41) Beer.
42) Lower car from jack stands.
43) Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.
44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during step 23.
45) Beer.
46) Test drive car.
47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
48) Car gets impounded.
49) Make bail.
50) Get car from impound yard.

Money spent: Parts: $50.00 DUI: $2500.00 Impound fee: $ 75.00 Bail: $1500.00 Beer: $ 25.00 Total: $4150.00 But you know the job was done right!!!
 
Originally posted by: C'DaleRider
It didn't happen to me.....I open my hood first always........but a car was towed into my brother's shop this morning and that IS what happened. Dude drained his oil, changed the filter, then tried to pop the hood and the cable broke. He tried to squirt oil back into the pan with a turkey baster and thought he'd gotten enough to chance a drive to the parts store. He started the car and drove to AutoZone but only made it a few miles before you-know-what happened. Now he was stuck with NO functioning car......so only alternative he had was to call a shop and have his car towed in. You should have heard the laughter in the background when John called me!!!! Gonna be one expensive oil change!!!
Click to expand...

lol... oh shxxt... that sucks... :Q
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

Back
Top