So, it looks like I can't be my nieces godfather

[Blackjack200]

Update: Talked to the pastor and to my sister. They're both comfortable that I can be a good godparent despite being atheist. It all goes down Sunday morning. I'm very excited!

Since apparently godparents need to be Christian.

Last weekend I'm visiting my sister and her little girl (3 months) in Chicago and she told me that my mom thought it would be sweet if I was the godfather. But she said when she spoke to the pastor that's doing the christening, he said that the godparent has to be a Christian. So that stressed my sister out because she didn't want to tell my mother that I was atheist, but she also didn't want it to seem like she didn't want me to be the godparent.

So I told her that I would talk to my mother, and I did. I pulled her aside and explained to her that I was atheist (which upset her like I knew it would, which is why I had never told her), and that even though I knew she had suggested it, the pastor said I couldn't be the godparent.

So then my mom tells me that she never made any suggestion to my sister about who the godparent should be.



I don't even care who's lying at this point. But now I have to have conversations about god with my mom, probably for the rest of my life. Ugh.

 

[KeithTalent]

Should be fun at Christmas this year.

That sucks man, sorry to hear. Can't your sister just do what she wants and call you the Godfather anyway?

KT

 

[tHa ShIzNiT]

there must be some way you can lie yourself out of this awkwardness.

 

[Cookie]

there must be some way you can lie yourself out of this awkwardness.

Wait until your sister chooses another godfather, then tell your mom you found god again.

 

[IronWing]

Tell everybody involved to shut up and kiss the ring.

 

[Blackjack200]

Should be fun at Christmas this year.

That sucks man, sorry to hear. Can't your sister just do what she wants and call you the Godfather anyway?

KT

That's what I would have done. The amazing thing to me is that the pastor is an uncloseted gay man that lives with his partner. So you'd think he'd be pretty inclusive.

there must be some way you can lie yourself out of this awkwardness.

Really my sister should have done the lying. "Oh yes, no problem, he's Christian."

 

[Farang]

Those religious conversations must be tougher when you get older. I told my mom I wasn't a Catholic at 16 when my parents wanted me to do confirmation. It probably upset them more than I realized at the time but it's the truth, haven't been to church a day since. What can you do

 

[JulesMaximus]

That's what I would have done. The amazing thing to me is that the pastor is an uncloseted gay man that lives with his partner. So you'd think he'd be pretty inclusive.



Really my sister should have done the lying. "Oh yes, no problem, he's Christian."

Then she would have to go to confession and tell the gay priest that she lied about you being a Christian.

 

[Blackjack200]

Wait until your sister chooses another godfather, then tell your mom you found god again.

I'll have to do something like this, but the thing is, I was already making it pretty obvious that I was atheist. I never went to church with my parents when I visited (except on Christmas because I'm a bit of a pushover). I never talked about god etc.

But I didn't tell them explicitly because I figured they'd be happier in denial.

I actually don't think I'll catch too much hell for it, my brother was the first to come out of the religion closet and I think they emptied their guns on him.

 

[waggy]

Wait until your sister chooses another godfather, then tell your mom you found god again.

lol FTW!

any church that told me who i could and couldn't have as my childs Godfather wouldn't be my church any longer.

 

[Markbnj]

The whole Godfather/Godmother thing is a Catholic-ism, I believe. You're supposed to keep an eye on the youngster's spiritual development, and be available to step in if a parent is removed from the scene for some reason.

 

[Mixolydian]

Who cares. Yes, there's a 1,000,000:1 chance of both parents dying and you being responsible for their kid(s), but other than that what's the point? "Godparent" seems like a really meaningless title that people like to throw around so they can feel special.

 

[Blackjack200]

Then she would have to go to confession and tell the gay priest that she lied about you being a Christian.

lol

She lives in Chicago and the baby is being christened in NJ (I think my sister feels guilting about getting married in Tennessee where the groom's family is from so she does this penitent stuff sometimes), so she wouldn't have to deal with any fallout.

 

[Lifted]

Sounds like it would have been easier to just tell your mother you weren't interested in being a godparent. Too much responsibility, not enough time, too far away, whatever.

 

[Blackjack200]

Who cares. Yes, there's a 1,000,000:1 chance of both parents dying and you being responsible for their kid(s), but other than that what's the point? "Godparent" seems like a really meaningless title that people like to throw around so they can feel special.

It is, it just would have been nice for my family to see me standing up there being the GF. Now they have to wonder why in the world neither of my sister's two brothers is a godparent.

 

[Farang]

Who cares. Yes, there's a 1,000,000:1 chance of both parents dying and you being responsible for their kid(s), but other than that what's the point? "Godparent" seems like a really meaningless title that people like to throw around so they can feel special.

Yea it is mostly ceremonial but I wouldn't say it isn't important. Two people saying hey you, this is the most important thing in our lives and if anything happens we trust you to devote years of your life to taking care of it. Even if symbolic it's still a big gesture.

 

[Ns1]

lolreligion

 

[nickbits]

I thought god parent was a only catholic thing and all they did was help them with religious stuff. Not sure why an atheist would want to be one. Being a guardian if both parents die is completely different.

 

[zinfamous]

there must be some way you can lie yourself out of this awkwardness.

seriously...but that ship has sailed. Should have just gone along with the whole Christian bit just to be godfather. Who gives a shit? It would have made everyone happy.

I assume that since your mom always assumed you were Christian, that you must have been baptized and confirmed at some point, right? Did you get de-baptized and officially "renounce" your confirmation at some point?

Technically...you're still Christian, most likely.

 

[Blackjack200]

I thought god parent was a only catholic thing and all they did was help them with religious stuff. Not sure why an atheist would want to be one. Being a guardian if both parents die is completely different.

Frankly I wasn't even aware that the church did godparents, they might call it "sponsor" or something like that. Same thing. It's not that I want to be one, it's that it's a nice gesture (or, at least, it would have been) from my sister and accepting would have been a nice gesture back

seriously...but that ship has sailed. Should have just gone along with the whole Christian bit just to be godfather. Who gives a shit? It would have made everyone happy.

I assume that since your mom always assumed you were Christian, that you must have been baptized and confirmed at some point, right? Did you get de-baptized and officially "renounce" your confirmation at some point?

Technically...you're still Christian, most likely.

My sister has known I'm atheist for years. If she didn't know I would have just played along and pretended, like I wish she had done.

 

[xSkyDrAx]

your avatar is fitting

 

[Fritzo]

Typical ATOT "I'm not going to budge, let other people deal with it" attitude.

You know, you could just say "Yeah, I'm a Christian", go through the ceremony, then be on your way afterwards. It's not like there's any commitment or anything afterwards.

 

[tHa ShIzNiT]

Typical ATOT "I'm not going to budge, let other people deal with it" attitude.

You know, you could just say "Yeah, I'm a Christian", go through the ceremony, then be on your way afterwards. It's not like there's any commitment or anything afterwards.

why bother though? why not just be an uncle? is that not enough?

 

[zinfamous]

My sister has known I'm atheist for years. If she didn't know I would have just played along and pretended, like I wish she had done.

...but you told your Mom, sister didn't. Maybe I'm misreading--is it that the pastor refuses to allow it because she mentioned you were not Christian, and so that's where the problem started?

well, that is absurd. sister is dumb. but even then...go for the baptism/confirmation argument if that is, in fact, true.

If you haven't been excommunicated, then you have that asshole in a technicality.

 

[Blackjack200]

Typical ATOT "I'm not going to budge, let other people deal with it" attitude.

You know, you could just say "Yeah, I'm a Christian", go through the ceremony, then be on your way afterwards. It's not like there's any commitment or anything afterwards.

Good grief man, did you read the thread? My sister already knew.

why bother though? why not just be an uncle? is that not enough?

Yes, that's fine with me.

...but you told your Mom, sister didn't. Maybe I'm misreading--is it that the pastor refuses to allow it because she mentioned you were not Christian, and so that's where the problem started?

well, that is absurd. sister is dumb. but even then...go for the baptism/confirmation argument if that is, in fact, true.

If you haven't been excommunicated, then you have that asshole in a technicality.

I told my mom because my sister was stressed out about explaining to my mom why she wasn't asking me to be the GF.

I didn't ask my sister if she told the pastor or not. As far as I'm concerned it's her business who she wants to ask, if she asks me I have no problem faking the funk.