So... I just peed on the Vice President of my company

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moshquerade

No Lifer
Nov 1, 2001
61,504
12
56
Originally posted by: jdoggg12
So i walked into the bathroom and saw that all the stalls were closed and someone was at one of the two urinals. Reluctantly i walked up to the open urinal, the short one thats for midgets no less, and I pulled my little buddy out to to pee. Keep in mind there's not really a divider between the two urinals.

I wasn't paying attention for a moment and my juices shot out at damn near 90degrees to where i was aiming (think along the lines of Me, Myself, and Irene, when he pees in the morning :D ). It hit the corner his urinal and splashed all over his pants. I freaked out. What the hell do you, as a peon say when you pee on your boss? I bumbled an apology or 10, while trying to finish my business and get the hell out of there.

He barely even flinched when it happened. He simply finished his business, wiped himself off, and before he walked out, he said, "In my day, you pissed on the people at your level, you didn't start at the top."

I used to work under him in my old position here. We were on really good terms. I hope I don't get called into HR.

:Q
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UPDATE:

My manager just IM'd me asking if it was true. She said the VP thought it was funny, but that he was pissed (yes, a pun... har har) that his pants are all nasty. Apparently he's going to bring me into his office before i leave today for some reason.

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UPDATE 2:

(Keep in mind the quotes are as accurate as i can remember.)

So i had my meeting with the VP. I work in the same building as him, so he called me in before i left. It didn't go as expected. When i walked in, he was sitting at his desk with the pants folded in front of him on the corner. I thought to myself, "Oh crap... this CAN'T be good. Dude is sitting behind his desk with his pee-pants glaring ominously at me."

"I suppose you understand why I called you in here?" He says

"Yes sir, i'm so sorry! It was an accident! I don't know what happened, that usually only happens in the morning" I pleaded. That last part made him laugh. Once.

"I was on my way to a meeting with a couple of managers. Do you know how awkward it feels to sit through a meeting with someone else's urine on your clothes?"

"No sir"

"Do you like working here?"

"Very much" I was now very worried.

"Do you think I like sitting here with no pants on?!" He barked. I didn't really have anything to say, i just looked sheepish and nodded. Right after that, he stood up and, for a moment, i thought i was going to run away from a poorly scripted porn scene. He was wearing his dress shirt un-tucked, which at first hid that he was in a pair of jeans. He started laughing really hard, apparently noticing my momentary horror. "If you could only see the look on your face! It's no big deal. We should have dividers in there for that, so this kind of situation doesn't happen. Years and years ago I started where you are and i screwed up big too when i was your age, my boss screwed with me the same way. God i've been wanting to scare someone like that for years.

I was too relieved to know what to say. So i said "Well, i'm still really sorry, at least let me have them cleaned for you." He wouldn't have it, he said it'll just be tossed in to his laundry, which is already just as gross as a result of his 2 year old.

Here's where the REALLY unexpected part came. We talked a bit about how things have been in the year since i stopped reporting to him. I told him it was just ok, he said, barring any more attempts to piss on him, he'd like me to come back to his dept.

best upper mgt/boss ever :thumbsup:
 

lokiju

Lifer
May 29, 2003
18,526
5
0
Let this be a lesson to all!

Piss on the people that piss on you all day and get promoted!
 

gwrober

Golden Member
Sep 3, 2005
1,293
0
0
<----runs off to piss on his boss....


EDIT: My boss is female, and hence doesn't use the urinals (that I know of). It's gonna be awkward pissing on her in her cube...
 

MmmSkyscraper

Diamond Member
Jul 6, 2004
9,472
1
76
Originally posted by: gwrober
<----runs off to piss on his boss....


EDIT: My boss is female, and hence doesn't use the urinals (that I know of). It's gonna be awkward pissing on her in her cube...

Use a ladder, then it won't be awkward at all :)
 

PlatinumGold

Lifer
Aug 11, 2000
23,168
0
71
definitely thread of the day for yesterday and today.

definitely thread of the week, as the week is almost over.

definitely thread of the month.

so yes, a nomination for thread of the year seems appropriate.
 

Phokus

Lifer
Nov 20, 1999
22,994
779
126
The Op should stalk his CEO and wait for him to go to the bathroom and piss on him... imagine the promotion! :D
 

2Dead

Senior member
Feb 19, 2005
886
1
81
That is just hilarious. It would have been better if he went off and was yelling all over the place letting everyone know that you pissed on him (not for you though).