- Feb 25, 2004
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This is just a little rant/story...believe it or not, but its true to me.
So my 'friend' Tom is pretty messed up. He's got some learning disability where he can't really do basic math...but has all the Russian, French and British kings and queens from the last 10,000 years or so memorized and enjoys reciting them and various history surrounding them all the time, including in front of women he wants to date.
So Tom is fat, has a bald spot at 24 and pretty pathetic. He lives off the government because he's technically disabled due mental illness (depression). I think he's just a lazy fvck myself. Well Tom has gone with us to Canada (Quebec) to a sleazy strip club/whore house just across the border a few times, and he usually ends up borrowing money from my friends to pay to have sex with one of the strippers out back.
Now the terrible/funny part is, he ALWAYS has to pay for the hooker twice. Apparently he can't get off in the alloted amount of time.
So his mother goes to Montreal to get corrective laser eye surgery done and since she's sore afterwards she wants Tom to come up and bring her back home. Tom's mom gives him her check card to pay for gas and some food on the way up, and the keys to her VW bug to drive. (Tom has a big Chevy Silverado, which I can only assume the government also pays the payment on because Tom has no job. I assume his mom let him take the bug since its a pretty long trip and the truck gets bad gas mileage.)
So anyway, Tom drives up and gets across the border and he decides he's going to go the strip club/whore house. He gets there and he has sex with one of the hookers or strippers or whatever they are, and of course in Tom fashion he has to pay for it twice because he takes to long. Tom puts this on his mom's check card. Beautiful!
So he drives up and gets his mom, and on the way back he realizes he left his Truck keys at the strip club. (I'm not sure why he even brought them, and I definately don't know why he took them out at the club long enough to lose them.) He considers going to the strip club to get them, but its pretty obvious its a sleazy strip club and he isn't sure they're even open that time of day so he says something to his mom about "I left my truck keys at some restuarant, they're closed I'll have to come back and get them." I guess Tom never thought to make a spare key, so thats his only set. (?) Odd, but he is a dumbass.
So he gets home, and the next day (he has no job remember) he takes him mom's bug back up across the border to the club to get his keys. Well, some stripper apparently took his keys home with her! (?) So, Tom has sex with a hooker, pays for it twice and puts it on his Mom's check card again. WTF you say? Indeed.
So, Tom drives all the way back empty handed...on the way home he stops at this Physic Reading place thats in Burlington here in Vermont. I've driven by it a lot but never went in. Well, apparently it was the standard affair, they told him some vague stuff about a rough childhood and he totally bought into it. This went on, you guessed it; his mom's check card again.
So he gets home, has no Truck keys. He goes to the dealership and asks them to make a new key based on his VIN or whatever they do. Apparently Tom's ignition was replaced in his truck at some point, so that doesn't work. He pays them to put in a whole NEW IGNITION, which cost like $400. Again, on the old check card.
Ok, Tom's mom gets these charges...says 'WTF!' She calls the cops on Tom and has him arrested for CC fraud! There's some court stuff in the local addison independent papers about this so at least this part is confirmable. He's convicted and now he has some payment plan where he pays $40/mo for the next 8 years to pay off all those hookers and physic readings. And I'm willing to bet that its going to be government money thats doing it. Fvcking good for nothing ass.
Cliffs: Friend goes to canada with mom's check card to pick up mom at hospital, pays four times for two instances of sex with hookers, loses truck keys...puts all damages on mom's check card. Mom presses charges, government essentially going to be picking up tab.
So my 'friend' Tom is pretty messed up. He's got some learning disability where he can't really do basic math...but has all the Russian, French and British kings and queens from the last 10,000 years or so memorized and enjoys reciting them and various history surrounding them all the time, including in front of women he wants to date.
So Tom is fat, has a bald spot at 24 and pretty pathetic. He lives off the government because he's technically disabled due mental illness (depression). I think he's just a lazy fvck myself. Well Tom has gone with us to Canada (Quebec) to a sleazy strip club/whore house just across the border a few times, and he usually ends up borrowing money from my friends to pay to have sex with one of the strippers out back.
Now the terrible/funny part is, he ALWAYS has to pay for the hooker twice. Apparently he can't get off in the alloted amount of time.
So his mother goes to Montreal to get corrective laser eye surgery done and since she's sore afterwards she wants Tom to come up and bring her back home. Tom's mom gives him her check card to pay for gas and some food on the way up, and the keys to her VW bug to drive. (Tom has a big Chevy Silverado, which I can only assume the government also pays the payment on because Tom has no job. I assume his mom let him take the bug since its a pretty long trip and the truck gets bad gas mileage.)
So anyway, Tom drives up and gets across the border and he decides he's going to go the strip club/whore house. He gets there and he has sex with one of the hookers or strippers or whatever they are, and of course in Tom fashion he has to pay for it twice because he takes to long. Tom puts this on his mom's check card. Beautiful!
So he drives up and gets his mom, and on the way back he realizes he left his Truck keys at the strip club. (I'm not sure why he even brought them, and I definately don't know why he took them out at the club long enough to lose them.) He considers going to the strip club to get them, but its pretty obvious its a sleazy strip club and he isn't sure they're even open that time of day so he says something to his mom about "I left my truck keys at some restuarant, they're closed I'll have to come back and get them." I guess Tom never thought to make a spare key, so thats his only set. (?) Odd, but he is a dumbass.
So he gets home, and the next day (he has no job remember) he takes him mom's bug back up across the border to the club to get his keys. Well, some stripper apparently took his keys home with her! (?) So, Tom has sex with a hooker, pays for it twice and puts it on his Mom's check card again. WTF you say? Indeed.
So, Tom drives all the way back empty handed...on the way home he stops at this Physic Reading place thats in Burlington here in Vermont. I've driven by it a lot but never went in. Well, apparently it was the standard affair, they told him some vague stuff about a rough childhood and he totally bought into it. This went on, you guessed it; his mom's check card again.
So he gets home, has no Truck keys. He goes to the dealership and asks them to make a new key based on his VIN or whatever they do. Apparently Tom's ignition was replaced in his truck at some point, so that doesn't work. He pays them to put in a whole NEW IGNITION, which cost like $400. Again, on the old check card.
Ok, Tom's mom gets these charges...says 'WTF!' She calls the cops on Tom and has him arrested for CC fraud! There's some court stuff in the local addison independent papers about this so at least this part is confirmable. He's convicted and now he has some payment plan where he pays $40/mo for the next 8 years to pay off all those hookers and physic readings. And I'm willing to bet that its going to be government money thats doing it. Fvcking good for nothing ass.
Cliffs: Friend goes to canada with mom's check card to pick up mom at hospital, pays four times for two instances of sex with hookers, loses truck keys...puts all damages on mom's check card. Mom presses charges, government essentially going to be picking up tab.
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