- Jul 6, 2011
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www.itbinsider.com/?p=3144Enloe has always been jealous of Broughton. While we cant fault them for their jealousy, we can make fun of them for lashing out at Broughton any chance they get. In a lame attempt to mock the fratiness that Broughton students naturally exude, Enloe students are getting prepared for life as TKE pledges in college. Theyve started by planning a Frat Out for their football game at Broughton tonight. They created a Facebook event with the hope that mocking Broughtons superior tradition and culture would result in a brief moment of self-worth for their student body. The moment of self-worth, while fleeting, would be immortalized forever through Facebook status updates, hashtags, and live tweeting the Frat Out to their dozens of followers. The event, titled ENLOE at Broughton. FRAT OUT is below:
There are so many hilariously pathetic things to say about this, but Ill narrow it down to a few.
1. They refer to Broughton as the castle, which is an admission that Broughton rules over the ITB kingdom, and an acceptance that Enloe students are our peasants.
We have a castle. Enloe doesnt.2. The misspellings of Brookes Brothers and Sperries. At first I thought these were just spelling errors of Enloe students that just dont know any better. Then I realized theyre referring to knock off clothing brands that I assume can be found in Steinmart or TJ Maxx.
3. Douchebag shades theyre called Ray-Ban Wayfarers and theyre an American institution. Theyre worth more than your life. Show some respect.
4. The ending btw I have the SAT the next day is not an excuse for not coming. This sentence is the strongest reinforcement of a stereotype ever. Broughton students never let unimportant things like tests and grades get in the way of doing something we want to do.
Here are the best responses from the ITB e-mail chain I started:
-This is going to be the greatest night of their lives because theyll actually hook up. I expect transfer requests from Enloe to NBHS will dramatically rise after the weekend.
-The Bargain Box better hire extra staff to accommodate all the Enloe kids that will be shopping there this week. Thats the only way they will be able to afford this plan.
-Its high time a 90s tradition get brought back- instead of students shaking their keys at opponents when beating them, shake their wallets. And really, it works even when BHS is losing the game.
-What is Enloe?
Good point. A lot of ITBers dont know much about Enloe because we value our lives and refuse to attend sporting events held there. Enloe is short for the much nerdier William G. Enloe GT/IB Center for the Humanities, Sciences, and the Arts. Its not even a high school, its a Center. It was founded by radical left wing occupiers who didnt want their children to attend Broughton, which they viewed as the cornerstone of ITB capitalism, hence the mascot Capitals. Lastly, its in a shitty neighborhood. So you can see why theyre jealous.
This isnt just a classic case of Enloe students trying to overcompensate for their lack of ITBness. Its part of a larger problem. A few weeks ago Leesville students attended a Broughton game and wore bow ties made of duct tape. Duct tape. This proves two things. 1. Leesville students are too poor to buy real bowties 2. They dont have enough class to know how to tie a bow tie so they use tape to make it work. Leesville students ended the evening by keying cars in the parking lot behind the baseball field.
Tonight the jealousy will be displayed through mocking Broughton students by dressing like civilized human beings. Oh, the humanity. Someone suggested that Broughton students mock Enloe by wearing skinny jeans and ironic t-shirts. Thats a horrible idea. Dont stoop to their level. Just continue to be yourself by wearing the exact same thing as everyone else. Theres nothing wrong with looking like everyone else when everyone else looks so damn good.
Their jealous plan has given me a great idea. Broughton needs to force students from other schools to dress like we do by implementing a visitor dress code. Now I know we cant expect the commoners to show up looking as good as we do. They cant afford it. So well use some of the millions in our Caps Club bank account to order thousands of IZOD polos. As the Enloe students enter the stadium, well give away the IZODs for free (then later use it as a tax write off since its basically donating to charity). The outsiders will look civilized from afar, but on closer inspection of their logo youll be able to tell theyre just visitors. I think this is called assimilation, and its a good thing.
To be safe, well only give them striped polos in primary colors. So tonight be sure to wear solid pastels. Im sure some Enloe kids will read this blog and try to thwart my plan. This is why every Broughton student needs to own a Broughton Tradition Scarf and ITB Masters shirt:
These are sold exclusively to Broughton students and graduates* because they only look cool when worn by people who go/went to Broughton. If an Enloe student shows up with a scarf its artsy and queer. If a Broughton student wears a scarf its tradition and badass. Remember, its not whats on the outside that matters, just kidding, yes it is. Whatever ITB apparel you choose to wear, you can be sure that deep down inside we are all better than the outisders, and TKE.*Youll be able to own a Tradition Scarf in the next few weeks.
LOL, this is starting a fire on twitter and facebook.
The kids at Broughton are known to be rich, preppy, and party-goers (true)
While the kids at Enloe are known to be smart and nerdy (true)
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