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Sleeping with your spouse is way overrated.

NuclearNed

NuclearNed

Raconteur
Don't get me wrong - I love my wife dearly and enjoy her close physical proximity, just so long as I'm not trying to reach a blissful state of unconsciousness. And I'm not trying to pretend that every accusation I'm about to make doesn't apply to me as well. I think my problem is that at age 35, I've finally gotten over the instant thrill of being in a large bed with my scantily-clad wife at those times when I know the only goal is not sex but instead to pass out into oblivion.

First there is the snoring. Its a girly, soft snore that doesn't happen all that often, but it is still there occassionally. Then there is the waking up with a pointy elbow firmly lodged in either my throat or one of my eye sockets. Don't get me started on the never-ending struggle that is blanket-hogging. Also, somehow my "half" of the bed ends up being the 1/7th portion that is on the very edge of the mattress. When she's restless, she flops around like a fish out of water. Each and every one of the many times she gets up to go to the restroom each night, I bolt straight up, convinced in my groggy half-awakedness that Charles Manson has come to visit. And her body temperature is something like 178 degrees, so If I'm within five feet of her I'm baking in my own juices.

All I want is cool, peaceful, quiet snooze time. Is that so wrong???
 
Originally posted by: NuclearNed
Don't get me wrong - I love my wife dearly and enjoy her close physical proximity, just so long as I'm not trying to reach a blissful state of unconsciousness. And I'm not trying to pretend that every accusation I'm about to make doesn't apply to me as well. I think my problem is that at age 35, I've finally gotten over the instant thrill of being in a large bed with my scantily-clad wife at those times when I know the only goal is not sex but instead to pass out into oblivion.

First there is the snoring. Its a girly, soft snore that doesn't happen all that often, but it is still there occassionally. Then there is the waking up with a pointy elbow firmly lodged in either my throat or one of my eye sockets. Don't get me started on the never-ending struggle that is blanket-hogging. Also, somehow my "half" of the bed ends up being the 1/7th portion that is on the very edge of the mattress. When she's restless, she flops around like a fish out of water. Each and every one of the many times she gets up to go to the restroom each night, I bolt straight up, convinced in my groggy half-awakedness that Charles Manson has come to visit. And her body temperature is something like 178 degrees, so If I'm within five feet of her I'm baking in my own juices.

All I want is cool, peaceful, quiet snooze time. Is that so wrong???
Click to expand...

but her feet are ice cold!! :laugh:

 
8/10

You should get separate beds that you can push together when it's time for something other than sleeping in them.
 
Originally posted by: funkymatt
Originally posted by: NuclearNed
Don't get me wrong - I love my wife dearly and enjoy her close physical proximity, just so long as I'm not trying to reach a blissful state of unconsciousness. And I'm not trying to pretend that every accusation I'm about to make doesn't apply to me as well. I think my problem is that at age 35, I've finally gotten over the instant thrill of being in a large bed with my scantily-clad wife at those times when I know the only goal is not sex but instead to pass out into oblivion.

First there is the snoring. Its a girly, soft snore that doesn't happen all that often, but it is still there occassionally. Then there is the waking up with a pointy elbow firmly lodged in either my throat or one of my eye sockets. Don't get me started on the never-ending struggle that is blanket-hogging. Also, somehow my "half" of the bed ends up being the 1/7th portion that is on the very edge of the mattress. When she's restless, she flops around like a fish out of water. Each and every one of the many times she gets up to go to the restroom each night, I bolt straight up, convinced in my groggy half-awakedness that Charles Manson has come to visit. And her body temperature is something like 178 degrees, so If I'm within five feet of her I'm baking in my own juices.

All I want is cool, peaceful, quiet snooze time. Is that so wrong???
Click to expand...

but her feet are ice cold!! :laugh:
Click to expand...

True. I'm just curious how you knew that....
 
I am with you there brotha'. I can not be touched when I am trying to go to sleep. Even if we cuddle, after a few minutes I tell her it's time to get on her side of the bed. Luckily, the sheets are not that big of a deal because she does not always sleep with them on.
 
Originally posted by: NuclearNed
Originally posted by: funkymatt
Originally posted by: NuclearNed
Don't get me wrong - I love my wife dearly and enjoy her close physical proximity, just so long as I'm not trying to reach a blissful state of unconsciousness. And I'm not trying to pretend that every accusation I'm about to make doesn't apply to me as well. I think my problem is that at age 35, I've finally gotten over the instant thrill of being in a large bed with my scantily-clad wife at those times when I know the only goal is not sex but instead to pass out into oblivion.

First there is the snoring. Its a girly, soft snore that doesn't happen all that often, but it is still there occassionally. Then there is the waking up with a pointy elbow firmly lodged in either my throat or one of my eye sockets. Don't get me started on the never-ending struggle that is blanket-hogging. Also, somehow my "half" of the bed ends up being the 1/7th portion that is on the very edge of the mattress. When she's restless, she flops around like a fish out of water. Each and every one of the many times she gets up to go to the restroom each night, I bolt straight up, convinced in my groggy half-awakedness that Charles Manson has come to visit. And her body temperature is something like 178 degrees, so If I'm within five feet of her I'm baking in my own juices.

All I want is cool, peaceful, quiet snooze time. Is that so wrong???
Click to expand...

but her feet are ice cold!! :laugh:
Click to expand...

True. I'm just curious how you knew that....
Click to expand...


i'm married too dude!
 
Originally posted by: NuclearNed
Originally posted by: funkymatt
Originally posted by: NuclearNed
Don't get me wrong - I love my wife dearly and enjoy her close physical proximity, just so long as I'm not trying to reach a blissful state of unconsciousness. And I'm not trying to pretend that every accusation I'm about to make doesn't apply to me as well. I think my problem is that at age 35, I've finally gotten over the instant thrill of being in a large bed with my scantily-clad wife at those times when I know the only goal is not sex but instead to pass out into oblivion.

First there is the snoring. Its a girly, soft snore that doesn't happen all that often, but it is still there occassionally. Then there is the waking up with a pointy elbow firmly lodged in either my throat or one of my eye sockets. Don't get me started on the never-ending struggle that is blanket-hogging. Also, somehow my "half" of the bed ends up being the 1/7th portion that is on the very edge of the mattress. When she's restless, she flops around like a fish out of water. Each and every one of the many times she gets up to go to the restroom each night, I bolt straight up, convinced in my groggy half-awakedness that Charles Manson has come to visit. And her body temperature is something like 178 degrees, so If I'm within five feet of her I'm baking in my own juices.

All I want is cool, peaceful, quiet snooze time. Is that so wrong???
Click to expand...

but her feet are ice cold!! :laugh:
Click to expand...

True. I'm just curious how you knew that....
Click to expand...

same here, and as I tell my wife "it's proof that I'm warm-hearted and your cold-blooded.: 😀
 
Originally posted by: NuclearNed
Don't get me wrong - I love my wife dearly and enjoy her close physical proximity, just so long as I'm not trying to reach a blissful state of unconsciousness. And I'm not trying to pretend that every accusation I'm about to make doesn't apply to me as well. I think my problem is that at age 35, I've finally gotten over the instant thrill of being in a large bed with my scantily-clad wife at those times when I know the only goal is not sex but instead to pass out into oblivion.

First there is the snoring. Its a girly, soft snore that doesn't happen all that often, but it is still there occassionally. Then there is the waking up with a pointy elbow firmly lodged in either my throat or one of my eye sockets. Don't get me started on the never-ending struggle that is blanket-hogging. Also, somehow my "half" of the bed ends up being the 1/7th portion that is on the very edge of the mattress. When she's restless, she flops around like a fish out of water. Each and every one of the many times she gets up to go to the restroom each night, I bolt straight up, convinced in my groggy half-awakedness that Charles Manson has come to visit. And her body temperature is something like 178 degrees, so If I'm within five feet of her I'm baking in my own juices.

All I want is cool, peaceful, quiet snooze time. Is that so wrong???
Click to expand...

California King FTW!
dont have any of these problems when your girl is sleeping on the other side of a matress so big its got its own zipcode...


and man your wife snores... thats kinda weird.... none of my SOs have ever snored LOL..

 
I wish I could sleep with my spouse. Right now I sleep with my spouse and two kids!

They both start in their own beds but eventually end up in ours more often than not.
 
Originally posted by: funkymatt
Originally posted by: NuclearNed
Don't get me wrong - I love my wife dearly and enjoy her close physical proximity, just so long as I'm not trying to reach a blissful state of unconsciousness. And I'm not trying to pretend that every accusation I'm about to make doesn't apply to me as well. I think my problem is that at age 35, I've finally gotten over the instant thrill of being in a large bed with my scantily-clad wife at those times when I know the only goal is not sex but instead to pass out into oblivion.

First there is the snoring. Its a girly, soft snore that doesn't happen all that often, but it is still there occassionally. Then there is the waking up with a pointy elbow firmly lodged in either my throat or one of my eye sockets. Don't get me started on the never-ending struggle that is blanket-hogging. Also, somehow my "half" of the bed ends up being the 1/7th portion that is on the very edge of the mattress. When she's restless, she flops around like a fish out of water. Each and every one of the many times she gets up to go to the restroom each night, I bolt straight up, convinced in my groggy half-awakedness that Charles Manson has come to visit. And her body temperature is something like 178 degrees, so If I'm within five feet of her I'm baking in my own juices.

All I want is cool, peaceful, quiet snooze time. Is that so wrong???
Click to expand...

but her feet are ice cold!! :laugh:
Click to expand...

I noticed his wife's feet were cold as well.
 
Originally posted by: NuclearNed
Don't get me wrong - I love my wife dearly and enjoy her close physical proximity, just so long as I'm not trying to reach a blissful state of unconsciousness. And I'm not trying to pretend that every accusation I'm about to make doesn't apply to me as well. I think my problem is that at age 35, I've finally gotten over the instant thrill of being in a large bed with my scantily-clad wife at those times when I know the only goal is not sex but instead to pass out into oblivion.

First there is the snoring. Its a girly, soft snore that doesn't happen all that often, but it is still there occassionally. Then there is the waking up with a pointy elbow firmly lodged in either my throat or one of my eye sockets. Don't get me started on the never-ending struggle that is blanket-hogging. Also, somehow my "half" of the bed ends up being the 1/7th portion that is on the very edge of the mattress. When she's restless, she flops around like a fish out of water. Each and every one of the many times she gets up to go to the restroom each night, I bolt straight up, convinced in my groggy half-awakedness that Charles Manson has come to visit. And her body temperature is something like 178 degrees, so If I'm within five feet of her I'm baking in my own juices.

All I want is cool, peaceful, quiet snooze time. Is that so wrong???
Click to expand...

LMAO...that part made this rant a 9/10. 😀
 
My only gripe is that my SO rattles the damn windows with her incessant snoring, the cold feet and high body temp doesn't bother me one bit.
 
Despite the downsides, i like it 😉

She snores cutely, so i can tease her about it (and it doesn't bother me). However the doona hogging is annoying, as is the elbows, and the insane body temp 😉

I sleep very soundly tho, and talk in my sleep, and i kick (just one leg, randomly) when i'm drunk, so i get my own back i think 😉
 
Originally posted by: Queasy
I wish I could sleep with my spouse. Right now I sleep with my spouse and two kids!

They both start in their own beds but eventually end up in ours more often than not.
Click to expand...

Send those kids to their own bed. That's just not right.
 
Originally posted by: NuclearNed
Don't get me wrong - I love my wife dearly and enjoy her close physical proximity, just so long as I'm not trying to reach a blissful state of unconsciousness. And I'm not trying to pretend that every accusation I'm about to make doesn't apply to me as well. I think my problem is that at age 35, I've finally gotten over the instant thrill of being in a large bed with my scantily-clad wife at those times when I know the only goal is not sex but instead to pass out into oblivion.

First there is the snoring. Its a girly, soft snore that doesn't happen all that often, but it is still there occassionally. Then there is the waking up with a pointy elbow firmly lodged in either my throat or one of my eye sockets. Don't get me started on the never-ending struggle that is blanket-hogging. Also, somehow my "half" of the bed ends up being the 1/7th portion that is on the very edge of the mattress. When she's restless, she flops around like a fish out of water. Each and every one of the many times she gets up to go to the restroom each night, I bolt straight up, convinced in my groggy half-awakedness that Charles Manson has come to visit. And her body temperature is something like 178 degrees, so If I'm within five feet of her I'm baking in my own juices.

All I want is cool, peaceful, quiet snooze time. Is that so wrong???
Click to expand...

QFT!

 
Originally posted by: Pablo
Originally posted by: Queasy
I wish I could sleep with my spouse. Right now I sleep with my spouse and two kids!

They both start in their own beds but eventually end up in ours more often than not.
Click to expand...

Send those kids to their own bed. That's just not right.
Click to expand...

Easier said than done at 4AM.
 
Oh man can I relate. Luckily I'm a heavy sleeper, that is once I get to sleep which takes some time.

My favorite is when I'm "stealing the blankets." What really happens is she steals all the blankets, then gets mad at me when I tug at the scrap that is partially covering my left arm in a vain attempt to cover my freezing body from the elements. On occasions when I'm not cold and thus do not fight her for the covers, she often becomes a victim of her own success. The blanket ends up piled on the floor on her side of the bed. This is typically blamed on me some how.

And how come whenever her body temperature rises to 2000 degrees she suddenly cannot sleep anywhere but on top of me? And pushing her back to her side? I might as well be trying to part the red sea.
 
Originally posted by: crustyoldman
My only gripe is that my SO rattles the damn windows with her incessant snoring, the cold feet and high body temp doesn't bother me one bit.
Click to expand...

Is her screenname crustyoldwoman?
 
Originally posted by: Queasy
I wish I could sleep with my spouse. Right now I sleep with my spouse and two kids!

They both start in their own beds but eventually end up in ours more often than not.
Click to expand...

you're going to have to put you foot down and tell the kids "nope, back to your room" or you'll end up like my sister-in-law and her husband where their daughter slept in their bed until she was 9.
 
Originally posted by: nakedfrog
Originally posted by: Pablo
Originally posted by: Queasy
I wish I could sleep with my spouse. Right now I sleep with my spouse and two kids!

They both start in their own beds but eventually end up in ours more often than not.
Click to expand...

Send those kids to their own bed. That's just not right.
Click to expand...

Easier said than done at 4AM.
Click to expand...

Bingo. Especially when one of them is a hungry eight month old baby.
 
Originally posted by: CVSiN
Originally posted by: NuclearNed
Don't get me wrong - I love my wife dearly and enjoy her close physical proximity, just so long as I'm not trying to reach a blissful state of unconsciousness. And I'm not trying to pretend that every accusation I'm about to make doesn't apply to me as well. I think my problem is that at age 35, I've finally gotten over the instant thrill of being in a large bed with my scantily-clad wife at those times when I know the only goal is not sex but instead to pass out into oblivion.

First there is the snoring. Its a girly, soft snore that doesn't happen all that often, but it is still there occassionally. Then there is the waking up with a pointy elbow firmly lodged in either my throat or one of my eye sockets. Don't get me started on the never-ending struggle that is blanket-hogging. Also, somehow my "half" of the bed ends up being the 1/7th portion that is on the very edge of the mattress. When she's restless, she flops around like a fish out of water. Each and every one of the many times she gets up to go to the restroom each night, I bolt straight up, convinced in my groggy half-awakedness that Charles Manson has come to visit. And her body temperature is something like 178 degrees, so If I'm within five feet of her I'm baking in my own juices.

All I want is cool, peaceful, quiet snooze time. Is that so wrong???
Click to expand...

California King FTW!
dont have any of these problems when your girl is sleeping on the other side of a matress so big its got its own zipcode...


and man your wife snores... thats kinda weird.... none of my SOs have ever snored LOL..
Click to expand...

All women snore, they just dont start until they get older <---- my theory

I bet your mom snores
 
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